Posts by paradiseseeker

17

I finally did it

by paradiseseeker in

jw
friends

it's done.. during the last month i've been talking with my closest friends about leaving the org and yesterday i finally talked with my parents.. it's been almost 5 months after i said that i would do it, but i think that this extra time has been beneficial.

i've said several times that i would opt for sending a resignation letter, but after talking to my best friends some of them suggested me becoming inactive and blocking my congregation's elders.

i've changed my mind and i will do that because the people that i care the most now know what's going on so they won't be worrying about me not attending the meetings.

paradiseseeker

It's done.

During the last month I've been talking with my closest friends about leaving the Org and yesterday I finally talked with my parents.

It's been almost 5 months after I said that I would do it, but I think that this extra time has been beneficial. I've said several times that I would opt for sending a resignation letter, but after talking to my best friends some of them suggested me becoming inactive and blocking my congregation's elders. I've changed my mind and I will do that because the people that I care the most now know what's going on so they won't be worrying about me not attending the meetings. Also some friends would keep talking to me even if I got disfellowshipped, but they would get in trouble, thus becoming inactive instead would soften everything for them and for everybody.

Now a new era begins and I hope to live the life that I've always wanted,

Thank you very much for your support and your advice. If you want to let me know your thoughts about this, please do it.

Paradiseseeker.

13

Request For:--2006 Deliverance At Hand Resolution!

by Atlantis in

jw
friends

hi bill:.

you wanted evidence concerning the "resolution" that was mentioned at the convention back in 2006.. ok, here you go:.

2006 "deliverance at hand" district convention resolution.. this "resolution" upgraded the words: "the world", to:human society that is alienated from god.you must be no part of the world....and....be no part of human society alienated from god.a typed copy of this resolution is found here:https://docdro.id/tlferwaplease note no.7 of the resolution.7.

paradiseseeker

I was a 15 year old PIMI back then and I remember that I felt that that resolution was completely pointless

45

What woke you up?

by HappyBlessedFree in

i’m fairly new so i don’t know everyone’s backstory.

how did you realize the organization was false?.

paradiseseeker

In my case I've been storing since my teenage years in my mind a lot of "points" I couldn't agree with or for which I couldn't find an explanation. I just tried to keep them concealed hoping that as an adult I would change my mind on some things or that I would come across some sort of information that would make things make more sense.

I think that the first points were preaching (I hated it, it was an eternal frustration) and secular chronology vs Bible (like Egypt being out there as soon as 3500 BC).

Then I started feeling uncomfortable with the shunning issue, the relationship with non-JWs and the way JWs are allowed to "confront" ideas (yours is the truth, don't let anybody change your mind, invite others to our meetings but don't go to theirs...), and of course how university is frowned upon.

After that I remember being against encouraging children to get baptized, how most JWs are so judgemental when it comes to music (I started listening to heavy metal).

And as part of my training as a teacher, you have to study how education changes people's lives and makes societies prosper, and you are presented a lot of info about the improvings that have been achieved in poor countries and how poverty is being reduced. That was much different from what you hear from the WT, so maybe "the last days", are not such a thing... Apart from the fact that you know that earthquakes are a natural phenomenon.

I could go on with many other aspects and this process is not linear, I had moments of "spiritual recovery". However, I remember one night in 2014 when I realized that if I wanted to be an adult, or a whole and coherent person, I HAD to leave the JWs. After that moment I destroyed my investigation boundaries and read about Evolution, Crisis of Conscience, info about 607, the Australian Royal Comission, failed WT and Bible prophecies...

And that sums up my whole process. Now I'm on my way to complete my exit from the WT.

I hope you find this information interesting and/or useful.

25

I think I made up my mind

by paradiseseeker in

jw
friends

a month ago i travelled alone to italy for three days and i had the opportunity to visit the beautiful florence and re-visit many parts of rome.. but most importantly, i had the opportunity to stay alone and think about my situation and to make up my mind.. i've had very clear for almost 5 years that i will eventually leave the religion, but i couldn't decide when.. but now i know : i will leave on april 20th, the day after the memorial.. that day i will talk to my parents (this is by far the hardest thing to do) and soon afterwards i will talk to my closest friends, then i will send my disassociation letter.

i know that i will let them down, i will hurt them, most probably some of them will cry... but i need to live coherently for the first time in my life.

i'm sure that living in this contradiction is affecting and will affect my mental health and it's time for me to help myself instead of others.

paradiseseeker

Thank you all for your responses, they've been very comforting and I feel really grateful that you can understand my situation and support me on that.

I read that most of you prefer fading, and I understand your reasons and respect that option, but in my case and particular situation I think that's not the best one. Let me explain why:

I live in a small city, so every JW knows who is a witness, who is not, who is dfd and who is inactive. That means, if I try to fade everyone will know it for sure, and if in the process of fading I start creating a new net of friends most probably I will be spotted when I go out with them, and that means receiving calls from the elders or even judicial comitees, and that is something I'm not willing to put up with.

Going to live elsewhere is something that is not under my control: I'm a teacher, I work for the State and I don't have a fixed post yet. That means that during this school year I will be in my city but I don't know if next year I will be sent to a different school in the same city or to a small village more or less far from here. Thus I don't want to just simply wait for circumstances to fit my expectations, I want to act now.

Apart from that, I feel that fading would mean prolonging my parents and friends' agony. They are already noticing that I feel zero enthusiasm at meetings and they have already lectured me about that and urged me to be clear about what I want. I no longer want to hold the truth from them or act like I can be somehow "saved" (like leaving an open door for recovery). I imagine an hypothetical me in the process of fading, getting from time to time text messages from my mum with WT articles or news "indicating" that Armaggedon is near and faking a "thanks for the information" and I... I just don't want to do that any longer.

And just to make it clear, I'm not going to tell them the reasons of my leaving, I will just say "I will not go into too many detail because I don't want to start a debate or try to convince you of anything, I simply don't agree with many things in this religion and because of that I think that the most coherent thing to do is leaving". I know, just saying "I don't agree" would be enough for many to label as an apostate, but I need to be as sincere with them as I can without being confrontational. I know that is hard for them too, but don't think that I will be "punishing" them: I'm just living my life without hurting anybody, their reaction on that is up to them and I would be very glad to maintain a normal relationship if they were willing to. In fact, my sister is dfd and my parents do talk to her, and I must say, they appreciate her more than my brother who is an elder and has become some sort of Pharisee. Finally, one of those close friends I talked about was dfd in the past and during that time I kept contact with him, so maybe...

I do think however that you are right on saying that maybe the day after the Memorial is not the most suitable day. I didn't choose that day for any symbolism or something like that, it's simply that in that window of time it will be appropriate because it happens that I will be staying at my parents' house for vacation and it will happen before a time when I will do several trips and other things and for which I would be better off with all this thing "solved". So maybe I'll consider doing it on a different day, but I hope not to delay it much further.

I hope that you understand my position and again, thank for your time reading this and letting me know your thoughts. If you want to add something it will be welcome.

25

I think I made up my mind

by paradiseseeker in

jw
friends

a month ago i travelled alone to italy for three days and i had the opportunity to visit the beautiful florence and re-visit many parts of rome.. but most importantly, i had the opportunity to stay alone and think about my situation and to make up my mind.. i've had very clear for almost 5 years that i will eventually leave the religion, but i couldn't decide when.. but now i know : i will leave on april 20th, the day after the memorial.. that day i will talk to my parents (this is by far the hardest thing to do) and soon afterwards i will talk to my closest friends, then i will send my disassociation letter.

i know that i will let them down, i will hurt them, most probably some of them will cry... but i need to live coherently for the first time in my life.

i'm sure that living in this contradiction is affecting and will affect my mental health and it's time for me to help myself instead of others.

paradiseseeker

A month ago I travelled alone to Italy for three days and I had the opportunity to visit the beautiful Florence and re-visit many parts of Rome.

But most importantly, I had the opportunity to stay alone and think about my situation and to make up my mind.

I've had very clear for almost 5 years that I will eventually leave the religion, but I couldn't decide when.

But now I know : I will leave on April 20th, the day after the Memorial.

That day I will talk to my parents (this is by far the hardest thing to do) and soon afterwards I will talk to my closest friends, then I will send my disassociation letter. I know that I will let them down, I will hurt them, most probably some of them will cry... but I need to live coherently for the first time in my life. I'm sure that living in this contradiction is affecting and will affect my mental health and it's time for me to help myself instead of others.

I sincerely can't see myself in that situation on that day, it sounds like a fictional story to me... and I am afraid that that fear may eventually hold me back and make me do nothing and stay the same. In fact, I'm afraid of posting this in case I end up doing nothing and getting discredited.

If I could get your support or read how you dealt with those situations I would appreciate it so much.

Thank you in advance.

3

Not attracted to "spiritual" people?

by nowawake14 in

jw
friends

i was always into boys that had "wordly" tendencies, like giggling at innopropriate jokes, watching scary/horror movies, scary video games, and just being open minded.. even if i ever get together with anybody, he's either gonna be an "awake" jw that is not a stupid pioneer, ministerial servant, elder, etc., and is not as active in the org.

if they're not a jw, maybe i could find someone i could get along with somewhere.

it takes time.

paradiseseeker

Absolutely relatable.

I remember when I was PIMI that I read in a Watchtower article that a "sister" said that what she loved the most about her husband is that he loved Jehovah more than her.

I wasn't awake back then but I still thought "WTF, that woman's head is full of crap".

5

"That is going to be the last..." feeling

by paradiseseeker in

jw
friends

it's been a long time since i last kept you up to date with leaving process.

well, i got another teaching job, i started to work in october and my contract will expire in july.

that's is almost a year of financial security and i have the certainty that i will be called in a different school in september until i eventually get a fixed post - this is how it works in state schools in spain.

paradiseseeker

It's been a long time since I last kept you up to date with leaving process.

Well, I got another teaching job, I started to work in October and my contract will expire in July. That's is almost a year of financial security and I have the certainty that I will be called in a different school in September until I eventually get a fixed post - this is how it works in state schools in Spain. The experience has been much harder at the beginning because the students at this school are much more difficult to deal with because of their bad behavior and other problems with their families, drugs and so on... But little by little I managed to adapt my methodology and to focus on the good aspects of my circumstances and by now I can say that I'm enjoying my job again.

In November I finally left my parent's house and became independent and it's being a great experience because I can finally prove myself that I can live on my own, I can finally go in and out whenever I want to, and I appreciate my parents more since now I'm more conscious about how difficult is to run a house and the sacrifices they've made to raise me up, so I really enjoy paying them a visit a least once a week.

And regarding my leaving from the org... It's quite hard to explain. I'm literally at the doorstep, I could leave whenever I want to, nothing has the power to hold me back (against my will I mean). I have this constant feeling of "this convention is going to be last one", "this Memorial will be the last", "this is the last time I'll see those JW friends of that town"... but what actually happens is that I'm immersed in my job and my daily routine (which includes hanging out with my closest JW friends) and time just goes by and I don't take that final step.

Of course, the reason why I don't leave is that I love my JW parents and friends and I don't want to hurt them. In fact I don't know why I am writing this since I perfectly know what I have to do and why I'm not doing it, but I wanted to share with you this sensation of having a plan, carried through but being stuck at the end waiting for that final ideal moment or that final push of bravery to complete it. I don't know if you can relate.

Anyway, thank you for reading my post. Any thoughts on this will be appreciated.

18

I'm considering putting off my leaving

by paradiseseeker in

jw
friends

i just wanted to share with you the thoughts that i've had lately.. my plan was to get a job, become independent and then leaving the org throughout this year 2018. i'm going to achieve the first step in a matter of weeks, the second one soon afterwards but maybe i will wait a little longer for the last one.. one year ago a friend of mine was reinstated.

we weren't very close friends back then, although we got along well.

but, since no many jws in my town want to hang out with him (because of his being a former disfellowshipped), we started to talk and go out more often and in a matter of half a year we've become very close friends, like brothers.

paradiseseeker

And HALF BANANA

You are so right in what you say, and I like straightforward people like you, but in this case you don't have to worry about me because I've already finished my degree and the job that I say that I will get in a few weeks is the job that I've been studying for for 8 years ;)

Maybe if I hadn't done it I wouldn't have ever woken up, or maybe I would but I would lack of means to get my independence in decent conditions, so yes, you are damn right.

18

I'm considering putting off my leaving

by paradiseseeker in

jw
friends

i just wanted to share with you the thoughts that i've had lately.. my plan was to get a job, become independent and then leaving the org throughout this year 2018. i'm going to achieve the first step in a matter of weeks, the second one soon afterwards but maybe i will wait a little longer for the last one.. one year ago a friend of mine was reinstated.

we weren't very close friends back then, although we got along well.

but, since no many jws in my town want to hang out with him (because of his being a former disfellowshipped), we started to talk and go out more often and in a matter of half a year we've become very close friends, like brothers.

paradiseseeker

Thank you everybody for your advice. I think you are right in many aspects and I will consider them very carefully.

Just a few remarks:

DUBSTEPPED

No, I'm not thinking about leaving just to do "worldly" things. I have plenty of reasons to leave like for instance knowing for sure that this is a lie and that its teachings are self-limiting and harmful. In fact, even after I woke up I was pretty against consuming alcohol but this friend of mine introduced me into that world and I decided to give it a try. And I tell you that the first time was very awkward because I wasn't used to be in that environment, so I saw that maybe I wasn't so ready to face the contrast between JW world and the outside, so this kind of transition would be good for me. But one thing is certain: I HAVE to leave, and I won't see myself as an example of integrity until I do it.

18

I'm considering putting off my leaving

by paradiseseeker in

jw
friends

i just wanted to share with you the thoughts that i've had lately.. my plan was to get a job, become independent and then leaving the org throughout this year 2018. i'm going to achieve the first step in a matter of weeks, the second one soon afterwards but maybe i will wait a little longer for the last one.. one year ago a friend of mine was reinstated.

we weren't very close friends back then, although we got along well.

but, since no many jws in my town want to hang out with him (because of his being a former disfellowshipped), we started to talk and go out more often and in a matter of half a year we've become very close friends, like brothers.

paradiseseeker

Hi, there!

I just wanted to share with you the thoughts that I've had lately.

My plan was to get a job, become independent and then leaving the Org throughout this year 2018. I'm going to achieve the first step in a matter of weeks, the second one soon afterwards but maybe I will wait a little longer for the last one.

One year ago a friend of mine was reinstated. We weren't very close friends back then, although we got along well. But, since no many JWs in my town want to hang out with him (because of his being a former disfellowshipped), we started to talk and go out more often and in a matter of half a year we've become very close friends, like brothers. The thing is... I don't want to leave him alone now.... not yet. And of course, my previous close friends are still there too.

I know that I shouldn't place others' happiness before mine, but I just can't do it otherwise. In fact, with this friend I'm experiencing some kind of "transition" because from time to time we watch horror movies (we even went to watch "The Nun" last week, lol), we get drunk and go to other cities where we go to parties with other edgy JWs. Because of that, I don't feel the urge to leave the org as much as I did in the past, because I'm already experiencing some "worldly" freedom and I'm feeling quite fine now.

Before you ask, no, this friend of mine is not a PIMO. In many senses he is, but I know he believes this is "The Truth". I think it's possible that he keep contact with me after I leave.

To sum up, I think that I will wait until I get my job, my own house and have some time to enjoy my financial independence with this and other friends. That means that I will probably wait until... summer 2019, I don't know.

Let me know your thoughts about it. I know that some of the reasons may sound lame but I wanted to verbalize them anyway.

Thank you for reading this post.