Mizalisa

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Posts by Mizalisa

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  34

  Seeking advice

  by Mizalisa in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i'm not a jw, nor was i raised jw.

  for the past three years i have been involved with a man who was raised jw, who at first told me he no longer believed as they did, but who, it has become clear over time, has not told his family or religious community the truth.

  he has strung me along for years, never introduced me to anyone in his life.

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  Mizalisa

  @giodrando

  "a lie in their reality is theocratic warfare"

  BOOM! Yes. This.

  I've never known a better liar than this guy. He lied constantly. And utterly without remorse.
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  34

  Seeking advice

  by Mizalisa in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i'm not a jw, nor was i raised jw.

  for the past three years i have been involved with a man who was raised jw, who at first told me he no longer believed as they did, but who, it has become clear over time, has not told his family or religious community the truth.

  he has strung me along for years, never introduced me to anyone in his life.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Mizalisa

  @ninjwspouse

  I'm sorry you're going through this. I am excited for what lies ahead for you as you heal and find peace.

  I think I know what you mean about the emotional stunting. My ex showed puzzling psychological patterns. At times he seemed almost sociopathic in his disregard for the feelings of others, but I realized it was just that he'd been so prejudiced to think of outsiders as less-than and sinful that he truly did not seem to realize we'd have morals at all. Especially women, whom he used like toilet paper. He seems childlike in his views, everything is black or white. He believes in demons. There's a paranoia to him, always thinking people are out to screw him over. He's deeply envious of one other filmmaker, sees the guy's success as a threat to his own, a zero sum game with only a handful of winners. Ugh. It is exhausting.
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  34

  Seeking advice

  by Mizalisa in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i'm not a jw, nor was i raised jw.

  for the past three years i have been involved with a man who was raised jw, who at first told me he no longer believed as they did, but who, it has become clear over time, has not told his family or religious community the truth.

  he has strung me along for years, never introduced me to anyone in his life.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Mizalisa

  @newsheep

  Yes! After that convention he started spewing weirdness about how all the pedophilia charges are fake, something like that. I remember sitting there at my kitchen table listening to him and thinking this sounds crazy,like he'd been brainwashed against credible victims.

  That was actually the moment I realized he was too far gone.
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  34

  Seeking advice

  by Mizalisa in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i'm not a jw, nor was i raised jw.

  for the past three years i have been involved with a man who was raised jw, who at first told me he no longer believed as they did, but who, it has become clear over time, has not told his family or religious community the truth.

  he has strung me along for years, never introduced me to anyone in his life.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Mizalisa

  I don't know if he's baptized or not. He has recently told me that while he finds some parts of the religion (cult) problematic, he believes much of the teaching and will never give it up entirely. This was new. In the past he'd said he wasn't "one of them" at all.

  He now says there's no way we could ever be a normal couple, but rather than break up he wants to continue in secret. I said no and broke things off for good yesterday. He was one of only two men I've ever loved, so this is quite painful.

  I am so grateful for the wisdom and support here. Thank you all.
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  34

  Seeking advice

  by Mizalisa in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i'm not a jw, nor was i raised jw.

  for the past three years i have been involved with a man who was raised jw, who at first told me he no longer believed as they did, but who, it has become clear over time, has not told his family or religious community the truth.

  he has strung me along for years, never introduced me to anyone in his life.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Mizalisa

  Thank you all.

  He said he was out, at first. Then his career stalled. Now he's more in than out. He went to a convention with his siblings.

  He is 32. We met cowriting a screenplay. He is truly brilliant. But his family has zero respect for his aspirations in film. I'm the bridge to the person he was born to be. But he is so hooked into their world... I don't think he will ever escape.

  He seems confused.

  I love him so much. I want to help him. But it has been three years. He still hasn't introduced me to anyone in his world. Meanwhile, he's met my entire family and all my friends. They all know I love him.

  I think I need to move on, for my own sanity. 😔
• 
  34

  Seeking advice

  by Mizalisa in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i'm not a jw, nor was i raised jw.

  for the past three years i have been involved with a man who was raised jw, who at first told me he no longer believed as they did, but who, it has become clear over time, has not told his family or religious community the truth.

  he has strung me along for years, never introduced me to anyone in his life.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Mizalisa

  Hello, all!

  I'm not a JW, nor was I raised JW. For the past three years I have been involved with a man who was raised JW, who at first told me he no longer believed as they did, but who, it has become clear over time, has not told his family or religious community the truth. He has strung me along for years, never introduced me to anyone in his life. He claims to love me but seems to want to keep me a secret. I'm so hurt and confused by all of it. He finally said he feels he can only be his authentic self with me, but he doesn't want to lose his family so he keeps his two worlds separate. He thinks once he is financially independent (he still lives with his parents) that then he will be honest with them and fully commit to me. What should I do? I feel so disrespected. How can he believe theirs is a loving God if he would be shunned for loving me?

  AV
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  14

  Finding our true identity after spiritual abuse in the Watchtower

  by Faith after Deception in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  i personally find that when you’ve been around toxic people long enough, either in a family environment or as part of a cult or a highly controlling church, (or worse, both!

  ), you tend to get a very twisted view of your own identity and also human nature in general.. in a religious context, you may end up feeling that you are a “lowly worm” and that in general, people can’t be trusted.

  since all you’ve known of relationships has been painful, complex and tiresome, it can give you the impression that this is the norm and that’s all you can expect .

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  Mizalisa

  Thank you for this beautiful post.

  I've just joined this group. I need to talk to someone who understands. For three long years I've been in love with and involved with a JW man. He seems to want to leave at times, but always goes back. He keeps me secret from his family and lives a double life.

  I finally walked away today. He will never leave and never treat me with respect. I'm devastated. I held on for so long. But I lost him to the cult.

  I don't know how to post a new post ony own.