Love you post. It stroke me as sort of divided, the way you describe what seems to be a clear separation between the "average" JWs and the "very JW JWs". Seems like the "elite" doesn't seem to care much for whatever the rest of the congregation does. It has come to that.
What you shared about the conversations you had with the other JWs seems to me like a good thing in the sense that you get to be more in touch with reality, but also in the fact that the "average JWs" seem to be way far away from looking up to those über JWs. Used to be, at least when I was there a few decades ago, that those people were supposed to be looking up and wanting to be like them.
Times have changed. Hopefully for the good.