scratchme1010

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Posts by scratchme1010

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  6

  If There is no God is Murder Wrong? - Michael Shermer

  by cofty in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  a very useful 8 minute talk on a topic that is raised frequently by believers in this forum.. ....

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  scratchme1010

  Interesting. Goes to show how believers attach morality to things that have nothing to do with morality.
  
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  9

  Between two worlds

  by Skepsis in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  after knowing the ttatt i felt anger of all the lies i was told for years.

  then, i did some changes in my life to the better.

  i was doubting but felt relieved.

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  scratchme1010

  Don't know if it's normal for you who are fading now or faded in the past. I'm feeling so lonely. A colleague at work noticed it but I couldn't explain it all. How to explain it to someone that knows nothing about the JW world?

  Did you experienced the same during fading? How are you managing it?

  Absolutely, and not only that, since I was born-in, and that's all I knew, it has been a long term process, not some thin that you just do once.

  I felt bad, and then felt bad for feeling good, then felt good, and every now and then those feelings crawl out of nowhere. It's negative influence I constantly have to keep in check. It doesn't discourage me from moving on.
  
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  147

  Scientism - Nothing But a Childish Insult?

  by cofty in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  it is not uncommon for theists to accuse rational people on this forum of "scientism".. in my opinion it is nothing but a cheap shot from those who know they lack evidence for their beliefs.

  if something like "scientism" actually does exist then i have never encountered it.. here is part of an exchange from another thread - i have brought it here as it was off-topic.... scientism = claim of scientific method being universal and the only valid method of knowledge.

  followers of scientism always demand scientific evidence to anything.

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  scratchme1010

  Many theists keep trying to judge alternatives ways of thinking based on what they know and experience. They try to make things like people who believe in evolution and value science over the writings in books that they consider sacred, fit the mold of their religious practices.

  Many religions preach this black and white mentality (you're going to heaven/you're going to hell, you're good/you're bad, you're in favor of God/you're against God, you're in the right path/you're in a path of self destruction), and therefore, perceive anything that challenges or explains their believes in a different way that way too by labeling things as "Satanic", "Against God", etc. Furthermore, they even attach morality to different ways of thinking, such as the way the WT publicizes that people who challenge their teachings deserve to die and will die.

  They argue against atheism as if atheists are an organization or organized entity, as if all atheists are united and believe the exact same thing or have the same set of values. Same thing with that nonsense of "Scientism". It's just another interpretation from some theists, trying to make people who challenge their believes fit a mold and make it into some kind of entity that they can attack, label and place under the "will be destroyed by God" (or its equivalent in their denomination lingo). That way they can continue reinforcing their believes and continue dismissing other people's.

  To me, the fact that many (not all, of course) theists continue trying to start arguments over our morals based on what we believe (i.e., according to a person who posted here, we are not supposed to be upset for bad things happening because that's supposed to be part of the evolution process), makes no sense.

  I personally dismiss all that as a misguided attempt at making alternatives ways of thinking fit the mold of how they view, perceive and believe things.
  
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  10

  Getting older, losing loved ones

  by Gorbatchov in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  just reading a posting about relive a day for one year of your live... .

  getting older, i am so sad thinking about years ago and missing my family members.

  am i the only one believing they would never die?.

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  scratchme1010

  So sorry about your sadness. Facing the realities of life is very tough, which is why so many people try to look for shortcuts or ways to escape it. That's also why so many of these groups that take advantage of people are successful. The realities of life are tough, not easy to deal with. But we can learn to live with them.

  I hope you enjoy the time you have with your loved ones and make the best out of it, and stop wasting time in this life preparing for a next one that may or may not happen.
  
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  10

  "Abuse of free will" - an Oxymoron?

  by doubtfull1799 in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  the society loves to talk about how adam and eve abused their gift of free will.

  doesn't free will mean the freedom to choose?

  how can exercising that freedom to choose then be classed as abusing the gift?

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  scratchme1010

  The society loves to talk about how Adam and Eve abused their gift of free will. Doesn't free will mean the freedom to choose? How can exercising that freedom to choose then be classed as abusing the gift?
  

  When I was learning TTATT, one thought that kept coming back was that according to them you can choose. Their Jehovah gives you "choices", but kills you if you choose anything other than what the WT says. They always convince people that they have choices but they don't. That's the core of their manipulation.
  
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  25

  Would you give up one year at the end of your life if you could relive any one day in the past?

  by Esse quam videri in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  like the question asks: if you could relive any one day of your life, any age, any place and remember everything about it afterwards, would you be willing to live one year shorter at the end of your life?

  one day for one year?.

  i realize that someone well on in years would think twice about it, but, what about you younger ones?

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  scratchme1010

  Would you do it?
  

  No, for the simple reason that there's absolutely no guarantee that making a change will result in a better outcome. As my history is, I know now where I am and have grown appreciative, grateful and happy for getting to where I am now. I appreciate and love my life as it is, and I wouldn't risk taking a different path that would take me who knows where.
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  103

  What will you be doing on the evening of the 11th ?

  by Phizzy in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  mrs phizzy and myself will be eating out, sure in the knowledge we will not have jw's using the same restaurant.. i may have a cigar along with my brandy at the meal's end to celebrate my (our) freedom..

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  scratchme1010

  Tuesday evening is the time I take to prepare my Toastmasters speech. I'll be in my room talking to no specific person about learning culture through language.
  
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  4

  What is the difference ......?

  by Phizzy in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  what is the difference between the way the gb are viewed/treated by jw's,even dead gb members, and the way saints are in the rc and orthodox churches etc ?.

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  scratchme1010

  What is the difference between the way the GB are viewed/treated by JW's,even dead GB members, and the way Saints are in the RC and Orthodox Churches etc ?
  

  Saints are praised, immortalized bu having them in images, sculptures, etc, and people use them as relics,and believe in them having some kind of power to make things go your way. As far as I know, JWs don't do any of those things with members of the GB.

  I think that's what you mean with your question, if not, please elaborate.
  
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  21

  Animals, Blood, Food, and JW Beliefs

  by dubstepped in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i'm just thinking aloud here.

  i watched a show yesterday and they were talking about how the largest mammals of the sea (whales) fed on such small creatures (plankton) rather than eating some other large creatures.

  anyway, it got me thinking about how as jws we thought that in paradise animals would all be herbivores, that they would no longer eat other animals.

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  scratchme1010

  Never occurred to me to think about mosquitoes before. Great observation. However, the more we know about animal behavior, the less sense it makes what the WT says.

  However, remember that they dismiss any explaining by attacking your trust in that their Jehovah will figure all that out. That's the end of the conversation for them.
  
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  21

  It's about progress, not perfection...

  by scratchme1010 in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i guess at this point in time and space i'm ok if there's an indication of things going in the right direction.. my jw father, who joined the jws in 1973 when i was 8, has always had all the characteristics of the stereotypical brainwashed born again weirdo.

  as a jw he always felt the need to show that he was more devoted than the rest of the crop.

  to him, life became very easy from that point on: "the bible", interpreted by the millions of wt publications, along with the information in the meetings and getting involved in all jw activities, were the answer to everything and anything in his life".

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  scratchme1010

  I guess at this point in time and space I'm ok if there's an indication of things going in the right direction.

  My JW father, who joined the JWs in 1973 when I was 8, has always had all the characteristics of the stereotypical brainwashed born again weirdo. As a JW he always felt the need to show that he was more devoted than the rest of the crop. To him, life became very easy from that point on: "the Bible", interpreted by the millions of WT publications, along with the information in the meetings and getting involved in all JW activities, were the answer to everything and anything in his life". He found his true, his reason to live, his education, his answers and his shield from the world that he fears facing all by himself.

  Besides that WT crap, he also considers himself "old school". First thing that I noticed is that he was always playing the old school card when it came to all that conservative nonsense that he was constantly trying to shove down other people's throats, and not just his family, literally everyone who came across his path. In time he learned to tone it down. He also used the "I'm old school" excuse every time that anyone contradicted him or did something he didn't like or heard something he didn't like hearing. "As the head..., as the man..., as the Bible says..., as per Jehovah..., as per the faithful and discreet slave..., as per this WT book..." he always needed one of those crutches to deal with anything. Never have I heard him, not once, stating something that he thinks, his words were always said under some kind of invisible shield.

  He used his Bible (the one with his favorite yellow vinyl cover) as some kind protective amulet. Every time that he was going to talk about anything, he'd have his yellow bible on his lap. Nine times out of ten his answer would be something along the lines of "Let's see what the slave says...", yes, the slave, not even "Jehovah".

  It would have been better (or more believable) if he was in fact happy living in his cute little JW bubble. The truth is that he was a very angry, bitter, violent man. You could see all that right through his glazed happy face when in public, and feel it and experience it if you were living with him. All his newfound peace through the WT seemingly magically disappeared when he was angry.

  After decades of violent outbursts, mistreating his children, never sharing his own self to anyone, and having a WT-based answer for everything, most of his children, like me, went on with our lives.

  Today, I, as a decent person, decided to overlook all that history of violence and mistreat and conservative crap that he vomits every time that he talks about everything. I have a better understanding now as an adult of what a controlling, high demand group like the WT does to people like him needing a sense of structure, or guidance, or answers, or just feeling part of something. I now have a long history of humanitarian, volunteer work and activism, standing, fighting and advocating for communities and people I believe in. Many of the people from those communities I believe in are not even people I know. If I have done all that for perfect strangers, why on Earth shouldn't I do something for my own conservative, born-again weirdo father?

  Besides the moral responsible aspect of it, I am in the more understanding position, with having the opportunities (and interest as well as willingness) to learn more, research more, have more doors opened to me, and ultimately know better than the WT crap - that he didn't. He stayed in his bubble. I didn't. I know better.

  Twenty years ago or so I decided to reconnect with both my parents. I was doing that by visiting them once a year where they were living. Aside from planning involving vacation time and plane tickets, I also prepared myself psychologically. Going to their home was like going back in time to when I was forced to be a JW under the vice of abusive violent parents. The only difference is that I had a little more of an upper hand. I know they love(d) me, and they were happy to see me, and loved the idea of me visiting.

  Those visits made a lot of difference for the three of us. First, I got to experience seeing them as a grown up, mature adult. Second, I was able to express (when appropriate, tactfully and with cultural/religious sensitivity) how I think and feel about things. Third, I got to see admiration for me from them, that's something I never got to experience growing up, no matter how overachieving we all were in the house. But the most important part was for me to come to terms with them. Before my mother passed, I made sure that during those visits I said everything I wanted to say, asked everything I wanted to ask, and listened to everything they wanted to tell me. I also let them know that I am there if they need any help or support.

  Those trips ended in 2009. The year before I married my now husband, a fine gentleman that they had met before as a "friend". They weren't too happy with me having "wordly" friends (me being in my 40s), but were ok with him ("Seems decent enough"). Thought my mother has been more aware and open to talk about "my problem", she was still a JW and everything she had to say was all about the bible and all that hateful useless nonsense that they say about gay people. My father forbid me from mentioning my husband, or otherwise I wouldn't be welcome in his house. (If I got a dime every time that he told me that I wasn't welcome in his house...). This time I only looked at him and said "Ok". He thought by my "Ok" meant that I wasn't going to talk about my family. By "Ok", however, I meant that I wasn't going back to his house.

  That's where I decided to draw the line, and this is a common occurrence among many JW families dealing with non-JW in-laws. Handling family relationships between JWs and non-JWs has always posed challenges on both sides. In my case, the same sex marriage thing is just one more layer of it.

  I stayed in touch of course, and they never dared asking me why I never returned. They never dare asking any questions. They are not supposed to, they are blindly obedient JWs. Plus at this point my father was well aware that his yellow bible amulet wasn't going to work, neither was raising his voice or violence. I never saw my mother in person again. She passed last year.

  After my mother's passing, my father went to live with my JW brother, and he seems ok. I have been calling him to check on him. That's what responsible, decent people do. I can tell that he's very depressed and sad. He misses my mother. They spent a good 80% of their lives together. He can't walk properly and he's forgetting things. He's old and sick and he doesn't recognize the WT Society as he once knew it. He hates the Internet. He has a hard time seeing these younger generations of JWs who slack and enjoy some freedoms that he never had or allowed for his own family. I have the feeling that he's finally opening his eyes. He truly believed that he and my mother were going to make it together into paradise, and now even if she's back in paradise, they are not going to be married. No one from the congregation visits him (as per my brother), and no one misses him if he misses a meeting.

  He's under my JW siblings' care, which means that he's barely having his basic needs. None of my JW siblings developed any education/skills that are marketable enough to receive a good salary, and none have ever even entertained the concept of preparing or planning for a future other than their "paradise on Earth". They all put their trust in their Jehovah to get whatever they can to get by.
  

  Yesterday I gave him a call. I asked him how is he doing, and though he said that all things considered he's ok, I know him too well to feel his sadness and depression. It makes me very sad to see a person at this point in his life so sad, lonely and depressed, and with very few people noticing. He was happy to hear from me, and here's where the "progress, not perfection" part comes to play. He actually acknowledged that my husband exists! Granted, it was with the purpose of inviting us to the memorial, but knowing him and knowing about the way he feels and think, it's a gigantic step for him to mention "that guy that lives with you".

  I felt good for that, but I feel a lot of sadness for him, for his life, for all the time and energy that he wasted in the WT crap. Most importantly, I feel sad that he pretty much lost me as a son for decades.

  Do I love him? Sometimes I think I do, sometimes I feel I don't. What I do know is better than making any decisions around my relationship with him based on that. Emotions are not your ally when making important decisions, especially with family. It has been much better for me to go the "I'm a decent, responsible human being" route. As a decent, responsible person, I get to do what is right for both, as challenging as it may be at times. Later, I guess I'll be able to tell if I love him or not, but either way he's a human being who tried to do his best with the information that was handed to him.

  In the end, the dream of every good father is to give a better life to his children. My life is better than his, so mission accomplished.