Now I have to try to accept that i am going to be lonely for the rest of my life since I can't go into another relationship. Its so cruel that he lied to get me to marry him and I have to suffer coz of it. I'm only 34. I was so happy in the truth til I married him
First, sorry that you seem hurt. Has to be very difficult to be in a situation where you were mislead (somewhat, since at the end seems like he was right since you are separated, but that's besides the point).
Second, please know that this is not a forum for active JWs, so if you still are and active JW, and you don't mention anything about your standing with that organization, I hope that you accept our understanding and support keeping in mind that some of use have and want nothing to do with that organization.
That out of the way, I hope that you can put your pain aside and manage to see things from a more realistic way. Seems like your relationship with that man was your entire world, and seemingly that includes your own being a JW (You were happy in the truth until you married him?). I'm putting aside my own feelings and opinions for that organization, but why does your relationship with him gets in that way in your relationship with the god you worship?
My point is that it seems like you are giving that relationship too much power. Thinking the way JWs do, nothing is supposed to hinder your relationship with your Jehovah, and during hard times is when you are supposed to hold on to him, not the other way around.
I think that your JW training, and maybe your own upbringing may be promoting this all-or-nothing, black-and-white mentality that is very common in people who follow christian religions.
- Yes, he lied, he lied about MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES. As much as you are suffering, I'm not sure that you are being completely fair about his own suffering and self esteem right now, particularly since he lost you.
- I know that living with a person with a mental disability, knowing that person as such, is quite a monumental burden to carry, as much as you love that person. Entering a marriage without knowing has to be horrible. HOWEVER, him entering the marriage with the responsibility of disclosing that, knowing the risk of what he did, on top of having to deal with not one, not two, three mental health diagnoses, has to be quite horrible for himself.
Why am I talking about him and not you? Because you are acting like a perfect JW in your relationship. You are making it about "he lied to me", claiming that your own life (if you are a JW and your relationship with your Jehovah seems to be ending because of him, that means in JW-ese that your life is over, no paradise, no eternity, no nothing) is over because of him. For real? You think that a failed relationship completely destroyed your ability to form another one in the future, have a family, and even your own faith and your own chance of living forever? And all because he lied to you about a health condition (ok, three)?
I think that you are too hurt to realize that you are making a catastrophe out of a failed relationship. He does not have the power to destroy your life, you do.
