Everyone has their brick. The rest of the wall could be stable.
Thoughts?
For some bizarre reason, people keep going on and on and on and on and on and on, ad nauseam trying to reason with JWs, and looking for reasons regarding doctrine and teachings that make people leave. Although it has happened, the reality is that the vast majority of JWs are brainwashed, and reasoning alone doesn't work at all. Reasoning does work when addressed properly along with what they FEEL. Experts, people who have dedicated their lives to research of cults, brainwashing and the effects of groups like the WT continue stating what the most common reasons for people to stay are:
- They continue to believe in the helper - some people do believe in Christianity, and for as long as the WT keep making them believe that they are the one and only true Christian religion, they will feel like they are being disloyal to God. This alludes to a sense of loyalty, a feeling.
- To protect their investment - A sense of safety and comfort in what they have taken years to build is not going to go away by just seeing facts and truths. If they don't find another source of comfort or safety, or otherwise if they do not admit to being in a false sense of safety and comfort, they are not going to leave. Sense of comfort and safety are feelings too.
- To hold onto family - Being shunned and accused of disrupting family relations, whether it is true or not, is not something that people want to put up with. Leaving means losing some family ties and otherwise close relationships. Loving family members is another feeling.
- Because their relationships are real and solid - Same thing but with other people outside family.A sense of camaraderie, belonging to something, being part of a community, sharing a same belief system or practices, etc, those are things that people feel, not just reason and learn.
- Pride and embarassment - Admitting that one has made the mistake of making so many important decisions, and raising your own children to do the same is no small thing to admit. Saving face out of pride and embarrassment is sometimes a very strong need, too much to handle to do otherwise, and are also feelings.
- Fear - of the WT being right, or fear of not having anything to live for if leaving, fear being shunned, fear of finding themselves alone, fear of the uncertainty and realities of the actual world and where it is going, the list of fears is almost endless, and fear is a feeling too.
Look at your list now under those things (I highlighted some things in italics):
- Apostates with signs (the angrier, the more i felt they were just fullfilling prophecy) - continue to believe in the helper
- Christians with signs (they were usually rude, and talking about the Trinity......next) - continue to believe in the helper
- UN scandal. I didn't care. - continue to believe in the helper
- Old friends trying to get me to think about why I wasn't allowed to go to college or play sports - protect their investment
- "bad" Elders. I actually grew up around and with some really good guys. Guys I felt really believed, and tried their best to be balanced and extend mercy. - relationships are real and solid
Your own reasons have nothing to do with reasoning or facts, but with feelings. I am quite sure that many of us did not leave just because of change in doctrine, but for the feeling of being fooled by their change in doctrine.
I am a strong believer that the "brick" that needs to loosen is the one that makes the feelings that made people join go away. They have to feel:
- Betrayed by the leader(ship)
- Disillutioned
- Rejected, left out, not counted due to personality differences or lack of "coolness'
- Bored (the excitement is over)
- Scandalized over something that happened that touches something that one is sensitive to
- Unable to continue rationalizing