to sum it up in all one word...pride.. i've always kind of attributed my subconscious "fade" to shame for living a double life by dating my non-jw boyfriend (now husband) while serving as a pioneer in the foreign language field.
but i was actually pretty regular for awhile.. my pioneer hours did start to dwindle, however.
i had always struggled with the hourly requirement, but i was really struggling now.
...they dismissed the third elder and took me in the back room...
You realize how inappropriate that is, right?
Hopefully you get to the point when you feel mad at yourself for feeling ashamed for their inappropriate, inadequate, bully and abusive behavior, when they are the ones acting inappropriately. After that, you will gain the real perspective of your situation with them.
Being a pioneer is something that you chose to do. They should be grateful for what you gave them.
vote here: https://goo.gl/hynuaz.
results will be here: https://goo.gl/xsxm2j.
Don't know them, so I can't vote. Feels so good being so detached from all of them to the point that I don't even know who they are.
has anyone else had a moment, while still within the organization (and before learning ttatt) that caused them to stop and go, "this is kind of messed up.".
for instance, back i believe in the early 2000's, i was attending a dc with my family.
it was announced at the beginning of the convention that there was going to be a special announcement at the end, so for everyone to please try to remain until the very end of the meeting.
I grew up experiencing WTF moments left and right.
my wife and i went to a concert on friday night.
there was a friend of ours there doing security, and she happens to be an exjw too.
she sent me a message on messenger to inform me that my brother and his wife were at the show, not knowing that i'd be there too.
Thank you so much for sharing. Who knows if that interaction may make them think. I'm sure they will remember it.
my 73 yo dad called me tonight.
he had just returned from the convention.
he proceeded to tell me he can't believe that a smart and successful man like myself can be so dumb so as not to believe that jws have the truth.
Overall, it was nice to hear from him, he made me chuckle with his cult reasoning, but I simply can't unlearn what I now know about this organization. I had to share this with someone, people who can relate. Thanks for any feedback.
I'm on the same page with you with my own father, who is now in his 80s. My father doesn't talk to me anymore about anything JW, mostly because our interactions in the past haven't been too civilized. He was not a respectful man, and he had the belief that his children can never be right or could do anything better than him.
In your case it seems like you can have a conversation that remains at a respectful level. Also, I noticed that you addressed important things implicitly, such boundaries, respect, sensitivity for what he could feel.
Aside from the effect of waking up a person in his 70s and that person realizing that he has wasted his life in nonsense, you separated the person from the WT nonsense, which is something that every father (every good one, I mean) should want from his children, which is to maintain a relationship that is respectful.
I liked that you limited your answer to only what you believe and you because he asked.
i have successfully faded but my dad can't help but witness to me, so i have decided to do my research and answer him from the bible when he tries to get his point across.. so on my last visit to my parents house, he was trying to tell me that the jw's have the right religion because they go house to house, and got me to read luke chapter 10, so as he is reading it i said, isn't this interesting because in verse 7 says says don't from from house to house.. he couldn't cope with it and started saying i am taking it out of context, i replied this is what the scripture says.
even when it is written in black and white and they are the ones quoting the scriptures they still can see it.. he then said that i am unwilling to see the truth and could not talk any longer, go figure..
He couldn't cope with it and started saying I am taking it out of context, I replied this is what the scripture says. even when it is written in black and white and they are the ones quoting the scriptures they still can see it.
He then said that I am unwilling to see the truth and could not talk any longer, go figure.
I hope that doesn't surprise you. I imagine that by "brainwashing runs deep in your family" you mean that you have experienced first hand or noticed how brainwashed a person is.
The thing is that the entire interaction you described is just one of the gazillion instances in which brainwashed people act, well, brainwashed. It's sad that because of that condition they chose not to talk to you.
However, if you look at it from the positive side, this gives you time for yourself. Also, it holds them responsible for causing disruption in the family. It also shows that you care about them without any conditions, and that they don't.
And who knows, down the line they may awaken and replay that conversation when they are ready to listen by themselves.
what is the minimum meeting attendace for someone, who is of good health, has not children doesn't work in a job that requires travel and lives about 3 miles from the kh?
is 50% for clam and 75% for watchtower acceptable?.
What is the minimum meeting attendace for someone, who is of good health, has not children doesn't work in a Job that requires travel and lives about 3 miles from the KH? Is 50% for CLAM and 75% for Watchtower acceptable?
There's no rule. As others mentioned, they make up rules and benefits as they please.
first i just want to say that i'm up over 5000 downloads now, which is awesome!
i'm hearing from exjws and people with jw family members or friends and people that are just curious.
just 10 days ago the show crossed the 3000 download mark, and it has gone up 2000 in 10 days!
Thank you so much for sharing your life with us.
hello to all, so i did want to talk about this topic because i think it is very important to me.
i have a grandfather who faded several decades ago.
he occasionally attends an assembly and the memorial but no longer attends meetings or goes on field service.
...However I do know that if you're caught breaking the rules, then it's possible to get disfellowshipped. And then there's disassociation, where you lose your friends and family only because you wish to no longer be associated with the organization. What have been your past experiences with this and what have you done? Fade? Disassociate? I'm not asking what I should do, just asking for what people have done and what works. Thank you very much.
My experience considers the fact that in my case I also needed to distance myself from my family. They were not very supportive people. So in my case it was easier for me to walk away without looking back. I decided that I can't care less about anything that they are, do or say. I wanted nothing to do with them. That meant that if "I got caught", as you put it, I couldn't care less since they [never] had a saying in my life and decisions.
I also know that they were a bunch of cowards and would never confront me directly, not to mention that probably they knew what awaited them if they dared approaching me with their Jehovah crap.
I believe that fading or disassociating should be a personal decision, based on the circumstances of each individual. However, here are a few things that I believe that decision should come about:
Just my two cents.
One more thing, part of your recovery from them involves not feeling "caught" when they see you.
humor plays a big part in a lot of humanity and we all like a good laugh but as far as i'm aware god's supposed word has no actual humor ,of course apart from being a joke itself ,why wasn't there a passage or something like "jesus farted and giggles broke out among them " or something, is anyone aware of any notations of humor ?
all to.serious really.
Maybe that's why I used to write smart remarks and bad words in my bible.
