"OH MY VERTIGO" by K. Kuspa
(sung to the tune of "Oh Suzannah"...)
1.
Oh, I spun so hard, the other night
I thought I was a top
I laid my head and tried to rest,
But it just would not stop!
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2.
Oh, the doctor said it was my ear,
The next said it was stress
Another gave me happy pills
He said I was depressed.
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[CHORUS]
*OH, my vertigo!
*What have you done to me!
*I have left the land of sanity
*And am spinning endlessly!
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3.
The fourth said my neck was messed up
The vertebrae were skewed
So I went into traction
Just to please this fancy dude!
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4.
Another doctor saw me
She said it was migraine
and then she plainly told me
not to come back again!
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[CHORUS]
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5.
Another said I'd had a stroke,
Another said, "AMEN!"
The eighth, she said, "A PLF!"
The ninth, he said "MM!"
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6.
My HMO is sick of me,
but "they'll do what they can;"
But then, I heard--it was a joke!
I was not in their plan!
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[CHORUS]
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K. Kuspa, c.1997