thinker

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Posts by thinker

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  66

  Serious Question

  by Prisca in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  as we all know the society has very strict guidelines regarding conduct between the sexes.

  in the cong i grew up in, it was so small-minded that if you were single, and seen talking to a member of the opposite sex, you were presumed to be in some sort of relationship with him/her.. sex before marriage is out of the question, with heavy petting also looked down upon.

  dating is a serious affair, with all onlookers expecting engagement/marriage to be the outcome.

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  thinker

  How did this affect my attitude?
  It landed me in a seventeen year abusive relationship with a man who was so hung up and unhappy with himself, that sex became repugnant to me. I was under the understanding that if you did everything right, and married someone in good standing, you would find love. That didn't work out very well.
  Did it make it more difficult to est. rel.?
  No kidding. I knew little or nothing of his true nature. He and his family made sure to hide all the bad and scary things until after we were married.
  Affect sexually?
  I am very free spirited and open. Whether with sex, or anything else. He in my opinion, is a very suppressed latent homosexual. Who by the way is remarried to a sister. I feel sorry for her. Because marriage for him is a cover for his tendencies.
  How did I deprogram?
  He left me. One of the best things that ever happened to me. I decided a long time ago, if I were to start another relationship, I would definitely live with them before I married them. This has worked out very well for me. My relationship gives new meaning to the cliche' fireworks.
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  45

  Judicial Committee Meetings

  by Pathofthorns in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i saw this interesting post on h20.

  most publishers are unaware how things really work many times in the back room of a kingdom hall.

  sure there are lenient elders, many do try to show mercy.

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  thinker

  All these facts are interesting. As an elders daughter, and wife, I was quite aware of what the rules were supposed to be. That does not mean that the rule of terror, does not instill horror in your heart. My father told me to refuse to talk to them. By that time I was so scared, I thought they would disfellowship me for refusing. A word of advice. If you are in trouble for anything, do not, I repeat DO NOT, ever put anything in writing and give it to them. It can, and will be used against you. When my ex left me, who as mentioned before was a serious abuser, they asked me to write it down. It took me two weeks to write it, I was in a complete state of hysteria, everytime I sat down to write. Later, they quoted from it twisting it and somehow used it to prove that it was my fault he left me. I even had papers proving he had listed all our belongings and dividing them thing by thing as to what belonged to whom, dated about a month before he left. It was still my fault he left, thus allowing them to kick me out of my home. My father told me not to write anything down, I was too scared not to. In retrospect, my father gave good advice.
  As for the sealed envelope. I happen to know from experience, sometimes even when you are told blatantly that a case is not judicial, sometimes there are more than two elders, and they make the envelope anyway. My ex was an elder for awhile, and saw the sealed file on our "not a comittee case" which three elder attended, two from our congregation and one from another. And the blatant slander that went on in that meeting sent me into a serious two year depression, during which getting out of bed was an accomplishment for me.
  What is written, and what actually takes place is two very different things.
  As for reporting things. I have watched too many times the C.O. walk away. Either he has been lied to by the elders, or he chooses not to look. I don't know which. And it seems like when one does start to get a handle on things it is time for him to move on. The next one, in my experience usually chooses to ignore the previous one's warning.
  Sorry for rambling on. But I have just seen too much to keep my mouth shut.
  Thinkers Wife
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  89

  Do you believe ...

  by AhHah in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  simply respond to each question with a yes or no answer (or '?

  ' if unsure):.

  before answering, please see my comments on general/main - "how about a survey?"..

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  thinker

  The founder of Watch Tower, Charles Taze Russell, said, If we were following a man undoubtedly it would be different with us; undoubtedly one human idea would contradict another and that which was light one or two or six years ago would be regarded as DARKNESS; but with God there is no variableness, neither shadow of turning, and so it is with truth; any knowledge or light coming from God must be like its author. A new view of truth never can contradict a former truth. "New light" never extinguishes older "light," but adds to it. (Zion's Watch Tower, February 1881, (p..3).
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  20

  Does anyone play online games ?

  by Simon in

  1. social
  2. entertainment

  does anyone play any online games ?.

  i've tried quake and most of the command & conquer stuff.. maybe we could organise a team event sometime ?

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  thinker

  This is Thinkers Wife. My husband has downloaded a lot of good games from the net. A CD that is hysterical, is You Don't Know Jack. Count us in.
  Thinker and TW'S Wife
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  45

  Judicial Committee Meetings

  by Pathofthorns in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i saw this interesting post on h20.

  most publishers are unaware how things really work many times in the back room of a kingdom hall.

  sure there are lenient elders, many do try to show mercy.

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  thinker

  I am compelled to post. This is Thinkers Wife. My intro. is on the new thread, where others give a desciption of themselves.
  I must be the diva of the back room.
  What I have read on this page according to Waiting and Nelly has a very eerie familiar ring to it.
  I have had five men on my comittee cases more than once (and on very different cases). Notes were taken copiously. Looks, elbow nudging, and very envious and covetous leers were exchanged. One elder even kind of giggled and kicked another one on the ankle at one point. It was pretty obvious to me they were thinking "why can't my wife do those things for me?"
  After my husband left me, I saw one of the elder's wives (very immature btw, and flat chested) nudging her husband, looking over at me and laughing. I had no clue what was going on. The next meeting, I was called in the back room and counseled for wearing, what they called a low cut sweater. This was not a comittee. Only 2 elders. They said since I had no husband they would act as my husband to protect me.
  The sisters in the congregation were intimidated by me, and all made it clear they didn't like me. The men looked, lusted and liked what they saw. But could not stand an intelligent, honest, outspoken woman. And the fact that I was the only wife who didn't rule the roost didn't sit well either.
  I would say both these experiences are very typical, based on my own, and others I have heard.
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  13

  Thinkers wife

  by thinker in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  thanks for the support.

  it is very hard after having been raised as a witness, to strike out and make new friends.

  and my family refuses to accept my new husband.

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  thinker

  OK, let me try to clear up the confusion.
  I (thinker) am not now nor have I ever been a JW. I have always been male. I married a life-long JW who DA'd just before we married. Of course her family now thinks I'm one of Satan's demons sent to lead their daughter astray (never mind that she was inactive 2 yrs before we met). We're currently going thru the process of finding out who will talk with us and who won't. I'm tempted to share my findings about the history and practices of the WTBTS with my wifes family and other active JW's, but she doesn't want the apostate label. It seems that even quoting old WT literature can get you labeled. So, mostly we're letting everyone decide for themselves.
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  67

  'Deaden your body members'

  by Maxee in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  i recently read a post on the net regarding how often men think about sex.

  i started to think about how often i did.

  i followed this up with a survey on antoher site and found i ranked low and they told me i had sexual problems.

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  thinker

  redundant, sorry , TW

  Edited by - Thinker on 19 December 2000 11:54:52
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  67

  'Deaden your body members'

  by Maxee in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  i recently read a post on the net regarding how often men think about sex.

  i started to think about how often i did.

  i followed this up with a survey on antoher site and found i ranked low and they told me i had sexual problems.

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  thinker

  I agree, the Society does kind of warp our minds about sex. It is that thinking that got me into an abusive seventeen year marriage with a "brother in good standing". Actually an ex Bethelite. Personally I think his anger stems from latent homosexual tendencies. He has done everything he possibly can to hide these feelings, including getting remarried. As you all know, I am married again too. To a wonderful man "in the world". I think sex is all about expressing love to your chosen mate. Our bodies are just what we use to express that love. We love our own bodies, why not love the body of our mate. If we decide to express that love, in any way we choose, that is acceptable to both of you, then what is the problem? It is a body, not seperate parts. And I choose to love all of it. Regardless of what is or is not considered porneia by the Society. Thinkers Wife
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  11

  You've finally got one!

  by Angharad in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so what does everyone think of bush finally winning.. is it a good thing?

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  thinker

  Ooops! Last post by thinker was actually Thinkers Wife. My first vote ever, and at the ripe old age of forty. Thinkers Wife
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  11

  You've finally got one!

  by Angharad in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so what does everyone think of bush finally winning.. is it a good thing?

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  thinker

  And here I thought it was all my fault there was such a hoopla, with the vote. I figured the wrath of god had taken over because I voted.[8>]