Posts by IamWhatIam

46

Bumped Into One Of My Best Friends On The Carts This Morning

by pale.emperor in

so this morning i'm walking to my office and there's the jws on their carts outside as usual.

and old sister, a brother in his 20s and an elder i instantly recognized from my jw days.

one of my best friends of about 20 years.. i genuinely just wanted to say hi as i havent seen him in 3 years.

IamWhatIam

I had similar experience. One young brother just shift his position not to see me when i pass by. Who cares? i dont want to see u either. I just passed by and ignore you cults.

29

I am happier when i am out

by IamWhatIam in

fellows.

finally find a place to share experience for jwers.

i am also a ex-jwer and left the ´truth´ on jan. 2018. i live and work in midt jylland in denmark.

@Sara Thank you for your post. My experience is before i baptized, i do have the free to ask questions or even to disagree with some topics. Before i baptized, they are tolerent to me in many ways. But after i baptized, the requirements changed. They start to put very strict rules on me. And they even made a plan to train me to be a pioneer or an elder, which i got to know from one of my best friends in the organization. And when i didnt meet the expectation, they will start to isolate me or try to stay a bit far away from me, especially those highly spirital elders. So be careful. The requirements and expectations on you is quite different before and after baptizing. After you baptized, they really want you to be a pioneer, to devote yourself on preaching, to sarcrify yourself to serve God. The pressure will become bigger and bigger after baptizing.

29

I am happier when i am out

by IamWhatIam in

fellows.

finally find a place to share experience for jwers.

i am also a ex-jwer and left the ´truth´ on jan. 2018. i live and work in midt jylland in denmark.

IamWhatIam

Here is my experience.

I am not a Danish. When i first arrived in DK, because it is so different from where i come from (i am from China), i desperately need some friends. Then one day, i met my Bible teacher, very soon after i arrived in DK. At that time, my knowledge about Bible is basically 0. He looks very kind and paticient. Then we started to talk. As you all know, after one talk, there will be return visits. My bible teacher is a really nice person, even today, i still believe he is nice. And if there is something i miss about the organization, it is him and some other brothers and sisters. After four years of brian washing, i baptized (to be fair, i didnt totally agree. But i like them. there is a comparimize). I thought everything will be good since i have all those good sisters and brothers. But i was wrong. After i baptized, they have lots of requirements on me. I am Chinese and they really want to develop the Chinese community. So those highly spirited ones always imply me to quit my job and then to take a part time job as a windown cleaner. I spend 15 years in school to become an engineer and you want me to give it up to do something has nothing to do with my education? The pressure is bigger and bigger. Not only on my career, but also on my personal life. I even have to think twice what i write on my facebook or instgram. Yes. They judge what you have writen. I like making jokes and they even told me i cannt make this or that kind of joke. I also be judged when i associate with other friends who are not JWers. They just told me they are low moral stardard and i should spend time with them (but in fact, they are very nice friends. why shouldnt i associate with them?). I also fell in love with a girl who is not JWer. Then 2 elders come to visit me and ask me to break up with her. I refused. Then the pressure came. They starts to isolate me because i refuse to break up with her. In the end, i surrended. And that is the thing i really feel regret. The thing made me decide to leave is their attitude. After four years of baptizing, i am still not an elder or Pioneer since i have full time job and dont have that much time to be a pioneer. Then some highly spirit brothers think i was not spirital enough and refused to talk with me. I switched to the English Congregation three years ago and there is a highly spiritaled brother never talk with me just because i am not as spirital as he expected. And after four years of baptized, more and more high spirital brothers joined and make a distance from me, even i didnt break any rules, just because i didnt meet théir expectations to be a pioneer. I had a very closed friend in it and he told me about the reason (he had many doubts too but for family issue, he didnt dare to quit). I felt so disappointed. Why should i follow a life the elders designed for me? Why i cannt be just a ordinary member who doesnt want to be a pioneer? Another thing makes me think is i knew some scandals which makes me think do they really behavor like they said. One of the brothers in the congregation sexually harrassed my friend. She is a chinese student here who once attend one meeting and several memorials. Then this brother likes here and keep sexually harrass her for almost three years. She is my friend and she told me. This scandal was finally reported to the elders in October 2017 and he is disfellowshipped. But unfortunitely, he is back again as a brother and i am pretty sure he didnt repent because he is harrassing another Chinese girl and now i am encouraging her to report him again. Another scandal i know is in Beijing. A special pioneer from UK had sexually harrassed dozens of his students or even sisters. One of the sisters i know reported him to the elders but got 0 reply. The elders coverred it up and even forbid her to tell others. I am her friend and she told me with enough proof including videos by hidden camero. After all these scandels i know, it makes me rethink what is wrong with the organization and the way they deal with scandals. For the Danish brother who was disfellowshipped and returned, if the victim is not my friend, i would never know why he was disfellowshipped. The elders just cover it up without telling others the reason. Just simply tell the rest someone is disfellowshipped without any details. How many similar scandals could be hide behind? We were ask not to ask, not to talk, or even not to mention. It is at that moment i finally realized i was a fool, who is fooled by their innocient looks while there are lots of potential scandals being hiden by elders. Then i quit. I finished my last weekend meeting in late Jan. 2018 and huged all the ones i loved. When i arrived home, i wrote an email to all of them announcing i quit and the reason why i quit and block all their emails, deleting all their phone numebers,etc. I dont want to have any kind of connection with them anymore. The thing i didnt succeed is to pursade my best jw friend to quit. He has so many doubts and different ideas, but he doesnt have enough courage to get out of it. I really feel sorry to him.

Hi. Fellows. Finally find a place to share experience for JWers. I am also a ex-jwer and left the ´truth´ on Jan. 2018. I live and work in Midt Jylland in Denmark. And i just want to tell all of you, leaving JW is the best choice i have ever made and now i am much happier than before, without worring things like ´did i attend all meeting´, ´do i need to preach more´, 'do i need to quit my job to be a cleaner just like everyone else', etc. The world is much better outside. For those who are still in doubt whether you can survive outside of the orgnization, i just want to say try it, it might hurt at the begining, but you will love it. And i will share my experience later. Enjoy your life and free.