Thank you for your answer. I think many JW's are like you... Many lost their faith because of bad shepherds. Please, consider this:
Agnostic people often say that they are very open to the Truth regardless what that Truth is. But someone in your situation need to pretend and lie on daily basis. I don't know if you or anyone finds the Truth this way. That just my opinion. For me GB pushing that experimental treatment was also clear signal that they are on the wrong side. But I decided not to support them and I just faded. Although I struggle oftentimes I still got faith and I'm sure God will bring justice. If you like studying the Bible I recommend Psalm 73 in this regard. Best wishes