Makena1,
: This made it difficult for the ones who were honestly trying to live up to the code, and in our opinion contributed to the emotional, spiritual decline that lead to our daughter's suicide.
Words cannot express the sadness. The WTS turns a blind eye to those who give lip service and have no heart. Those who actually try to live by the code suffer, and in your case and your daughters's case suffer terribly or absolutely. You are in no way to blame, the organization persecutes those who take its tachings too seriously.
: What do you do when you feel you are basicly held hostage in an organization that you realize is false, however, you don't want to lose contact with relatives or perhaps a spouse?
Only you can answer that; But to say that you are "letting your personal hurts get in the way ..." is very sad and being too hard on yourself. What else is there beyond personal hurt, hurting for losing a daughter is not "mising something in the analysis," it is being human and must be absolutely devastating. Life is too precious to be subject to the ever canging whims of Brooklyn.
The jw religion is not only wrong, and demonstrably wrong, it is indefensible becauseof the hurt and genuine grief that it causes without reason. Here is not the place to go into specifics because you both are hurting so much, but the first place to start, if I can suggest is this; don't feel guilty for believing, but act. Do something. Even if you eventualy decide that your beliefs were wrong, you have acted out of integrity which is the basis of humanity. The WTS acts out of expediency. Being misled is not a sin. Nothing can bring your daughter back to Earth, but, you both acted out of honesty. Pursue the truth, leaving no stone unturned in pursuit of it.
The WTS is based on a double life; they DF people for questioning them but feel free to act contrary to their own standards. They reward hypocrites who tow the line but discard tose who value truth
The only answer to the questionwhat do I do " iso do what people have always done, that is to take courage and determine your own destinty.
The editor has gone nuts on me and I can't edit the above! Typos abound and I cannot seem to correct them
I don't know if this helps, probably words cannot, but many on this board understand and will be there for you....
The fact that you are so unsettled on this topic shows that you are acaring human being who can recognize, pardon me, bullshit when you smell it.
Good luck,
trilobite