Oubliette,
VERY NICE !
the noble fir.
the fir tree stands silently in the corner of our living room: proud, erect, strong.
even unadorned, it is beautiful.
Oubliette,
VERY NICE !
family background: my wife ("liberal" jw), me (ubm), two children aged 5 and 2.
(want more details?
-> http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/topic/279456/raising-kids-jw-mother-agnostic-father).
Zana, OneEyedJoe,
Zana,
I apologize. I'm not trying to hijack your thread. Just want to praise OneEyedJoe's profound analysis of JW "brainwashing".
"It just hits her emotionally as a big red flag of fear and terror and sadness... and she can't handle it and shuts down. It's designed to do this so that you can't get past it. It's designed to be a wall too tall to climb so that she won't put in the effort even if you try to work through it with her. That said, it might be something you can get past, but be patient and go slow because it's going to be difficult for her."
OneEyedJoe
Your words are absolutely brilliant !
They aptly characterize the situation I've been facing in trying to get my Non-JW self together with a really special JW gal, where there is obvious mutual attraction countered by JW "brainwashing". Very sad.
Watchtower-Free,
Congratulations and Blessings for being Watchtower-free !
Thank you so much for posting the video.
As a non JW, I came onto this forum to "learn about" JW.
This video demonstrates the devastating mental-emotional-"spiritual" control this organization has over the members.
Until now I did not realize what my JW "girl-friend of sorts" has been dealing with internally and facing externally in the JW org. No wonder she's been terrified.
I will have a new found compassion for her now.
And, I realize now why so many folks have posted that a JWperson needs to "see the light" on their own and want to get out before an outsider could have any positive influence over them.
Thank you again so much.
as most of you know i have been shunned by my family for 2 years because of a photo posted on facebook of me kissing another girl at a party.
the matter was not dealt with fairly but it is over now and i am 100% certain that jdub org is a cult.
but i miss my family so much.
Daniel1555,
"Did you try to reach out..?"
"ignore their love for you and are loyal to these evil rules of the org in a strict way?"
"What if you just be especially loving to them or try to reach out to them or try to help them in some ways?"
Hey Daniel1555,
You sound like a really loving soul and this could work with some folks. But, I have tried this strategy, as a non JW guy attracted to a JWgal. After a short intense "relationship" she has gone "awol" and "appears" to be a heartless, duplicitous JW zombie.
But, agreed, one must try their best.
i'm non-jw.. been following this forum.
most of you folks have been through hell, but are still loving souls.
i'm reeeally impressed and glad to be here.. my question is at the end of this.
Diogenesister,
Yes, I agree wholeheartedly, there are probably a limitless number of highly compatible potential mates out there for all of us.
You know in my wife's last few weeks of life, I asked her "what am I supposed to do after you go on to Heaven"? I just wanted to hear her wish/permission/approval, for I had learned to highly respect her wisdom/opinion. She said "Well, you have to find someone for companionship". But, it was totally unexpected to find a gal so mentally/emotionally/spiritually compatible out of the blue, like this.
---------------------
"knight in shining armour...and rescue her maybe"?
Yes, probably some of that. But not from an egotistical perspective. I've had my share of being "jilted" by girls too. But, would it be a good and noble thing to do?....Sure. Plus, I like her and see her core as being a good person spiritually. Plus, although I tried my best for 13 years to help an older brother with mental-emotional issues from the time of Vietnam, I failed because he never did recover. IF, this gal is willing (sees the light), I don't want to fail this time-her.
You know, in the practice of law trial attorneys pick a case "theme" which summarizes the client's position. One theme frequently used is: "Things are not always what they seem to be." It may just be applicable to this drama.
There's a lot going on here that is almost unfathomable. She is a black girl, so I like to ask black folks opinion, in case I'm missing something. And, they "cut through all the fat" so to speak and give an incisive, no b.s., perspective with a good understanding of the spiritual realm.
I'm repeating now from an earlier post. But I told my story here, unknowingly at first to a JW, really nice black guy. When I told him how the last time this gal and I had met, she had shaven her head, he hollered , "WOW, THIS IS DEEP"! I think in that instant he could "see" everything that was going on. He advised me that "for now just try to be her friend outside of JW, that she can turn to and trust".
I also asked the opinion of my dentist's dental assistant who is from Trinidad. A sharp gal. She said "give this girl time, don't call her and don't text her. She knows you love her." But, I was unable to do that because her daily life situation appeared to be so tenuous, and fragile. I felt the need to maintain contact.
But, that's the hard part, trying to discern the optimal amount of contact. Not so much to cause her pressure and yet not so infrequently that she might slip through the cracks.
Wish me luck
i'm non-jw.. been following this forum.
most of you folks have been through hell, but are still loving souls.
i'm reeeally impressed and glad to be here.. my question is at the end of this.
VIII,
Thanks for sharing your Mom's story.
It ticks me off though. She was just trying to better her life and find happiness. What she did was her personal business. I'm sure she deeply cared about the guy.
What a heartless "religion". Worse yet, they "stole" the balance of her years. My heart goes out to her. God is Good. He will make it up to her either here or in the hereafter.
I hope you are compassionate to her.
----------------------------
"Your friend is not looking for a rescue-she's looking for a convert".
Thanks for your input. If this "drama" continues:
I'll be looking out for that. I'll never again join any organized religion.
And, I believe she has a lot of "baggage" and hurt to work through, so I would need to give her time to "see the light" and want out.
i'm non-jw.. been following this forum.
most of you folks have been through hell, but are still loving souls.
i'm reeeally impressed and glad to be here.. my question is at the end of this.
Morpheus,
Thanks for the laugh. I needed that.
I appreciate the warning. I'm still ok and trying to get to the bottom of this.
"We will be here for you when it goes wrong"
A Sincere 'Thank You'. That means a lot to me.
ALL YOU FOLKS ARE TRULY, THE BEST !
i'm non-jw.. been following this forum.
most of you folks have been through hell, but are still loving souls.
i'm reeeally impressed and glad to be here.. my question is at the end of this.
out4good4
Yes, there are, but, seemingly slim pickings from other cities I have lived in.
I'm ashamed, in a sense, to admit that I'm well past being a teenie-bopper and perhaps should know better.
On the other hand, this is a truly complex situation and not what it may appear to be on the surface.
Thanks
i'm non-jw.. been following this forum.
most of you folks have been through hell, but are still loving souls.
i'm reeeally impressed and glad to be here.. my question is at the end of this.
Silvia,
Thanks. She "appeared" to be getting "marginal" help, yet right on the penumbra of homelessness.
Since she did her disappearing act/"awol", I've been really worried about her well- being.
It could be either of those things you mention or who knows maybe even something else.
It's a roller coaster ride some days I have alot of patience, other days are like today where I need to get to the bottom of this.
"Something's up". Yup, I need to find out.
i'm non-jw.. been following this forum.
most of you folks have been through hell, but are still loving souls.
i'm reeeally impressed and glad to be here.. my question is at the end of this.
VIII and Diogenesister,
Thank you so much for your sharing, analysis, and advice. It is appreciated.
I'm on the way out of the house now and will re-read them later.