i'm non-jw.. been following this forum.
most of you folks have been through hell, but are still loving souls.
i'm reeeally impressed and glad to be here.. my question is at the end of this.
out4good4
Yes, there are, but, seemingly slim pickings from other cities I have lived in.
I'm ashamed, in a sense, to admit that I'm well past being a teenie-bopper and perhaps should know better.
On the other hand, this is a truly complex situation and not what it may appear to be on the surface.
Thanks
i'm non-jw.. been following this forum.
most of you folks have been through hell, but are still loving souls.
i'm reeeally impressed and glad to be here.. my question is at the end of this.
Silvia,
Thanks. She "appeared" to be getting "marginal" help, yet right on the penumbra of homelessness.
Since she did her disappearing act/"awol", I've been really worried about her well- being.
It could be either of those things you mention or who knows maybe even something else.
It's a roller coaster ride some days I have alot of patience, other days are like today where I need to get to the bottom of this.
"Something's up". Yup, I need to find out.
i'm non-jw.. been following this forum.
most of you folks have been through hell, but are still loving souls.
i'm reeeally impressed and glad to be here.. my question is at the end of this.
VIII and Diogenesister,
Thank you so much for your sharing, analysis, and advice. It is appreciated.
I'm on the way out of the house now and will re-read them later.
i'm non-jw.. been following this forum.
most of you folks have been through hell, but are still loving souls.
i'm reeeally impressed and glad to be here.. my question is at the end of this.
i'm non-jw.. been following this forum.
most of you folks have been through hell, but are still loving souls.
i'm reeeally impressed and glad to be here.. my question is at the end of this.
GL Tirebiter,
"If she doesn't want to be helped......not much you can do". "Some prefer to stay cause it's their comfort zone".
That's great advice. And, I agree with it, and wouldn't want to do anything less than what is honorable.
But, I'm not yet fully convinced that is the situation for 2 reasons:
(1) We hung out for 2 weeks and she was a completely different person (highly compatible), that is, UNTIL I expressed affection for her which triggered her fear and JW-imposed anger when I told her I had girlfriends.
(2) I read the Website reading you recommended. It described her to a T. From what she told me I suspect she is on her way to "fading". As the website states, something to the effect, that she is like a trained attack dog that has been "abandoned" by it's master (JW).
And, that with unconditional love, patience, time, etc. etc. such a person MAY have a chance to "recover".
( I was the lucky recipient of my now-departed wife's 100% unconditional love. It was the most wonderful experience while she was alive and somehow or other she lovingly, metaphysicalIy left it all to me.)
I could be 100% mistaken, but to me, this gal's behavior clearly falls within the parameters described in that recommended website. And, I can't describe in a post all that went on between us or even the nuances now.
Your advice is tops, but I'm not ready to give up yet. She's a human being and a nice-special one. I just wish there was an instructional manual from this point forward.
Thank you kindly GL, I really appreciate your help.
i'm non-jw.. been following this forum.
most of you folks have been through hell, but are still loving souls.
i'm reeeally impressed and glad to be here.. my question is at the end of this.
ShirleyW,
Just in case there are any cultural differences that I'm not aware of someone out there might be able to give me some helpful advice. I had a girlfriend from Haiti, she always called it "cultural differences".
I spent years in Asia and found, for example, that the girls in the Philippines were "different" (eg. dating rules, expectations, etc etc.) than the girls in Japan who were different from the girls in Hong Kong.
I'm really crazy about her, but it looks like at 50 yrs old, she's preferring JW.......
Very sad and heartbreaking. It doesn't have to be one or the other, I guess, unless it's JW.
i'm non-jw.. been following this forum.
most of you folks have been through hell, but are still loving souls.
i'm reeeally impressed and glad to be here.. my question is at the end of this.
Dear GL Tirebiter,
I just read your recommended reading.
Fantastic ! Very similar to the ordeal I'm going through right now.
This JW gal did not contact me ahead of time as I had asked her to, to tell me if she didn't want the cell minutes. She allowed me to add the minutes. Then "chewed me out for doing so". Thereby, making me susceptible to the "love" the "brothers" would subsequently show.
I guess the 2 JW guys, one of whom is black like her AND with the same first name as her, would be super friendly if I called them for bible study(which I will NEVER do, by the way).
Man, this sure appears to be a "sinister" "religion-organization".
Thanks to you kind folks, I'm actually "dodging a bullet". Thank you so much!
i'm non-jw.. been following this forum.
most of you folks have been through hell, but are still loving souls.
i'm reeeally impressed and glad to be here.. my question is at the end of this.
GL Tirebiter,
Thank you. I'll keep your nice explanation as a reference and c/o the recommended reading.
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"Always remember that your friend is taking a risk just by being your friend, especially with you being a non-believer and of the opposite sex".
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Yes, I was reminded of that today. I try not to pressure her by texting a brief text once a week only and calling about once every week and a half.
When we were "together", she didn't have enough money to keep minutes on her cell ph. So, we would go to Walmart n I would buy some for her.
Other day I got her voicemail n left msg was going to buy her some cell minutes and to call me if ahead of time if she didn't want them.
She didn't call. So today, to help her out, I added some minutes to her cell ph. When I called her to check if ph co. added the minutes, she ranted on about not to buy her cell minutes and not to call her.
I'm getting fed up real fast. (Today I spent some time w/a normal concurrent girlfriend. It was so nice . No drama, no intrigue. As I've told her, even at 53 she could still get work as a model)
But, this JW girl is a "piece of work". I'm about to lose romantic interest in her. But, I still definitely want to help her, but she's making even that difficult.
So, being close to me at the beginning wasn't a problem, but assuming that it now is because of her JW,
What is the best way to deal with her JW mindset so that I can help her.
I mean if worse comes to worst, I can actually forget about her, BUT my conscience will bother me every day for the rest of my life. My gut feeling is that if I cut off contact w/her she most likely will never again voluntarily contact me.
i'm non-jw.. been following this forum.
most of you folks have been through hell, but are still loving souls.
i'm reeeally impressed and glad to be here.. my question is at the end of this.
Morpheus,
"She's in a cult that teaches her to hate people like you"
Although it wasn't like that at the beginning, it seems to be the way things have become.
PLEASE, can you explain/teach me everything you about how they go about causing the person to become hateful, the mindset of that hateful person, and how to "break through" to reach the hateful person to help them.
Thanks
i'm non-jw.. been following this forum.
most of you folks have been through hell, but are still loving souls.
i'm reeeally impressed and glad to be here.. my question is at the end of this.
Silvia et AL,
Silvia, your concern re real property and the comments of others in this forum re property has acted as a catalyst:
I have a plausible theory, which is that: this gal that I'm smitten with is used by JW as a pawn to target real property owners and those w/at least a modicum of money. She then turns the person(s)over to the local KH folks for "processing."
I recall a few yrs ago that my Mom had told me that when her well-to-do older sister passed away, this sister's good-hearted, but naive spoiled, drug using son, (who had inherited the house) was particularly distraught,/vulnerable joined the WatchTower and transferred legal title of the expensive home to Watch Tower.
I'll leave aside, for now, questions like: is "Jehovah" the same God to whom Christians and I pray. And, to what extent is this gal I'm interested in aware what she is caught up in and does she really want "out" of it (JW)?
Early on in a restaurant while I was looking her straight in the eye, I could read her thought and subsequent demeanor which was: "Oh, I don't want to hurt you [my name]"...and looked sincerely remorseful.
I brought her to my home and told her she was welcomed at any time to stay with me and that I would help her "get on her feet". It explains why she came home with me (kinda dangerous), cause she wanted to c/out the property.
It explains why when I respectfully didn't try to "make out" with her at home, she later respectfully became really deeply enamoured w/me.
After 2 days, I needed a break from the situation. It was intense mutual attraction/controlled. I phoned her a few days later. She said to me "it's really dangerous for you, so I don't know when I can see you again".
Maybe it's kind of like the "spy" who falls in love with the opposing country's adversarial "spy".
It explains why she said she has to "keep moving". It explains why she appeared so poor, yet had personal knowledge of some well-to-do communities.
I could go on n on, this theory answers/explains so many questions in my mind till now.
Perhaps instead of ripping me off, I'll be able to help her get free from the oppression IF that is what she wants and IF I'm strong-competent enough to carry it out.
I want to say more, but got stuff to do right now.
Any, and all, ideas are more than welcomed!
