Posts by thankyou

75

Have we become what we despise so much?

by Tenacious in

the majority of members who tend to join this forum have been hurt possibly even traumatized sometimes to the point of wanting to end their lives.

upon joining the forum, new members are welcomed with open arms, welcome messages start pouring in, "likes" are freely given, a false sense of security is promoted where a member is free to speak his mind without having to worry about the wt gestapo.

again, similar to how potential converts are welcomed and "love bombed" upon entering a kh for the first time.

thankyou

Tenacious,

My 2 cents "thought":

Your comments are VERY perceptive.

Thanks

37

My First post

by Simple Minds in

i have been lurking on this site for 3 years and this is my fist post.

i would like to thank everyone for helping me wake up.

i was baptized at 24, married at 25, ms for 18 years mentally in for 24 years but started to wake up 3 years ago doing research to give public talks, and the actions of arrogant and narcissistic brothers and sisters did not help.

thankyou

SimpleMinds,

Just my 2 cents:

Leaving the spelling "errors" in your letter helps to demonstrate stress. I would leave them in there.

I don't know if it's the same for other folks, but I have found that "walking" outdoors quiets the "mind", and helps to harmonize and strengthen the mind and body. I would do it alone so that you are not distracted by another.

Man, you've had a rough time.

And, someone else has posted that this is not unusual for a JW. Geez.

God Bless You!

17

My Experience with Wordly Guys

by LaurenM in

sorry, two posts in a day..but i need to vent something: so far my experience with "worldly" guys has not been the best 1. my first guy experience was with a dude who left state and never came back 2. a coworker asked me to netflix and chill and i did 3. a guy wanted to sext me all the time but never took me out on a date and i did 4. a guy who took me on a great date but then asked me up to his apartment immediately after and then didn't call me after 5. finally, another great date, until after the guy texted me asking for nude pics..told him no!

so basically i've concluded that i had been giving off a vibe that i had no self respect and that was confirmed by me allowing them to use me as a sex object..but i'm hoping that not all worldly guys are like this, and when i start acting like i have self respect, they will treat me like that too?

is that a good assumption?

thankyou

LaurenM,

Yes, "listen" to what V1922 just said. It's true.

A guy is a guy, JW or non JW or whatever.

And, not to be crude, but we guys are all the same "down below",

And, the problem is that the "down below" has a mind of it's own.

It's only when a guy evolves morally, ethically, spiritually, or whatever you want to call it, that they begin to gain "control" over their sexual impulses.

I'm not a JW and know very little about it, but from what I've learned recently, this is one area where the JW rules, beliefs, can actually be a big help/protection to you. At least until you gain some experience in dealing with guys.

I've had more than my share of "fun", and of course it's easy to say this now, but honestly if I were a girl, knowing what I know now, I would not "sleep" with any guy unless he is "husband material".

If you have "casual sex" you are, among other things, running the risk of catching a sexually transmitted disease. Some of these lurk in your body forever and never go away.

I'm sure you wouldn't want to put your future husband at risk and/or your baby coming through the birth canal.

Good Luck

17

My Experience with Wordly Guys

by LaurenM in

sorry, two posts in a day..but i need to vent something: so far my experience with "worldly" guys has not been the best 1. my first guy experience was with a dude who left state and never came back 2. a coworker asked me to netflix and chill and i did 3. a guy wanted to sext me all the time but never took me out on a date and i did 4. a guy who took me on a great date but then asked me up to his apartment immediately after and then didn't call me after 5. finally, another great date, until after the guy texted me asking for nude pics..told him no!

so basically i've concluded that i had been giving off a vibe that i had no self respect and that was confirmed by me allowing them to use me as a sex object..but i'm hoping that not all worldly guys are like this, and when i start acting like i have self respect, they will treat me like that too?

is that a good assumption?

thankyou

LaurenM

"I'm just so dumb when it comes to non-JW guys."

I'm a guy. Guys are guys. When dealing w/them don't distinguish between JW and non-JW

It "takes two to tango". So, the first thing is you must honestly ask yourself if you were willingly seeking sexual experiences, or if you have what are apparently very low standards.

It's only my opinion. But, as a female you need to be much more careful. Sexually transmitted diseases are rampant. Especially if you are of child bearing age. Your health ,well-being, and future happiness are at stake.

Please, I'm not trying to be rude or judgmental, but didn't your parents or any sibling brother(s) teach you about boy-girl relationships?

There's a lot to be learned. So, if you have any decent guys (eg siblings, relatives, decent guy friends, etc) ask them to teach you about how guys think and for help in settings standards.

I know I tried to teach my sister and then later on I still continue to teach my daughter about guys.

My personal opinion is that a girl should not have sex with a guy unless she has first determined, over time, that this is a guy she could see herself as married to.

And, of course it goes without saying that you need to be using birth control measures.

You have been used and abused. Stop it, please. A truly decent guy would never have used you that way!

Good luck, change your ways.

Sincerely

51

Your Opinion Pleeease

by thankyou in

jw girl non-jw guy.

tenuous boyfriend-girlfriend relationship.

what is more likely to strengthen a relationship?.

thankyou

DJS,

And by the way, the photo you posted is not an accurate representation.

There should be 3 Black girls, 1 Japanese girl, 1 American-Vietnamese girl, and 2 Hispanic girls.

But, it's ok, you're forgiven.

Sounds like you might need to "borrow" one?

And, who is this guy in the photo?

Does he have any "How To" books and/or DVDs ?

51

Your Opinion Pleeease

by thankyou in

jw girl non-jw guy.

tenuous boyfriend-girlfriend relationship.

what is more likely to strengthen a relationship?.

thankyou

Landy,

Thanks for the laugh, Bro!

51

Your Opinion Pleeease

by thankyou in

jw girl non-jw guy.

tenuous boyfriend-girlfriend relationship.

what is more likely to strengthen a relationship?.

thankyou

DJS,

"....I can read this statement a thousand times and come to no other conclusion"

I know. And, THAT is the problem.

God Bless You.

I've got nothing more to say to you.

51

Your Opinion Pleeease

by thankyou in

jw girl non-jw guy.

tenuous boyfriend-girlfriend relationship.

what is more likely to strengthen a relationship?.

thankyou

KateWild

Thank you Kate.

Yes, I'm intending to do what you suggest.

You know how over years n decades we develop a close loving relationship with our parents, brothers and sisters, spouse, children, a close friend or two.

Well, this girl and I instantly mutually became aware of this same "bond" within seconds of first meeting. It's really something to experience.

Unfortunately, I knew nothing about JWs, eventually handling things improperly, causing her to "freak out" because of her JW mental-emotional "conditioning".

We care deeply for each other, BUT she's awol, tormented, trying to reconcile this with her JW beliefs.

Better late than never, I've been on this site trying to learn about JW. It's not just JWs that have mental emotional scars, anyone who is alive experiences that.

Most, but not all, of the folks here are loving, empathetic, and sincere.

Being an outgoing guy I've probably spoken to at least 50 people in my city trying to get their opinion. To be honest, it's been 100% pleasant compared to the venom that can pop up around here.

She happens to be a cute black girl, so I've had a tendency to speak to black folks. Half of the guys basically said "don't give up". The other half said "she's not worth it, find someone else".

All the gals have said something like "give her time, give her space, she knows you love her, just let her know you are there for her".

Every single one of these persons has given me all the time I need to discuss this. And, they understand it all. And they know about JW.

As "trying" as this is for me, it's got to be 1,000x more difficult for her.

Kate: thank you for being "normal" and "optimistic". It's appreciated. God Bless you!

51

Your Opinion Pleeease

by thankyou in

jw girl non-jw guy.

tenuous boyfriend-girlfriend relationship.

what is more likely to strengthen a relationship?.

thankyou

DJS,

"You lost me...."

Sounds like you are lost in a very dark place.

51

Your Opinion Pleeease

by thankyou in

jw girl non-jw guy.

tenuous boyfriend-girlfriend relationship.

what is more likely to strengthen a relationship?.

thankyou

Miss Worldly,

Sorry for your "roller coaster ride".

Hope for the best!

Thanks for the "heads up".