It's time for you to take a break.
Your world has been turned inside out - divorce is very hard and having kids during this process makes it even more difficult. Rejecting your religion and your 'friends' during this past year complicates things even more.
Take stock of your life goals. Let yourself off the hook. Forgive yourself.
Understand that you cannot accept responsibility for things that you can't control (the outcome of a judicial meeting is one of those). Let it go.
Change the things you can - take care of yourself. Find happiness in something simple every day.
ginger