At first I was pretty upset. Mostly because I no longer had all the answers to life's big questions. Then I got angry at all the wasted time. I have no family in the bOrg so my situation is different than some/most. Now I'm fine. I have made peace with the fact that I will die and that NOTHING solves everything, ie. the Paradise fallacy. I will live the rest of my days, however short or long, and I will die. At that point either I will find out there is more, or I will be truly dead and not know anything. Whatever the reality turns out to be I'm fine with that. It all changes as time goes on and you realize these essential truths.
Freeandclear
JoinedPosts by Freeandclear
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27
Are you sad or angry?
by raven inafter exiting the org, i mean cult, how have each of you felt personally about the lies you had been taught, the hurt from feeling betrayed by these people, actual hopes of once believed false teachings, rose colored lenses of seemingly just and right doctrines that turned out to be a bunch of horse $#!+, the shunning of family and friends?
right now i am going through the motions, i've just moved to a new home, which means hopefully no more elders searching for me at my previous address.. i can't help but feel sad though right now because of the fact that although i am not df'd ( maybe the elders will do it in absentia assuming i've been avoiding them and the 2 jc's they've invited me to as well as the last handwritten letter at my door before i moved ) my mom treats me as though i am dead to her, she says " i am living the life of a disfellowshipped person, and until i come back to jehovah this is how things will be because this was my choice to leave jehovah " ok i get it, but i don't- everyone has free will, so yes this was my choice but it is also her choice to shun me, especially after the "shun unrepentant wrongdoers" talk at the rc, funny how they come out with these talks to reel members back in.. she claims that she has an obligation to jehovah of which she promised to him after she was baptized not at 11, 13, or 17 ( young ages ) but fricken 26 years old.
i absolutely hate this organization and everything that it is, it's taken away my family and most importantly my own mother.. i always thought that a mothers love was to be unconditional, but hers for me is only conditional.
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"You will never grow old in this present system of things" -- some campaign tools
by FatFreek 2005 ini am approaching 76 years old.
i can clearly recall that awake!
statement and similar during the pre-1975 hype -- "staying alive in '75", et al.
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Freeandclear
This Organization is so insidious. They ruin lives. The influence major decisions of all their members, they keep them in slavery. I think it's actually much better with the mega churches, yes they also ask for and receive large amounts of money, but what do their parishioners have to do? Just show up and give. After they walk out the door their obligation is over. If they want to leave and never come back, no problem. If they want to live a life of sin and debauchery, no problem. It doesn't affect them at all. At least THAT is honest.
This organization steals the most precious thing a human being has. Time. Time and effort and energy and passion. It sucks the life right out of a person, and if you leave or disagree it also takes all your friends and in some cases family away too!
I didn't used to hate these people. And I don't hate any of the R&F witnesses at all but the elders, and the higher ups and especially the GB, they all have to know better to some degree that it's all a load of absolute horse shit. It is and they know it.
They should just change the whole format and make it like a more typical big church organization with no life disrupting penalties if you leave. But we all know that will never happen.
From here on out I will voice my opinion to any who are studying or any of my old friends. I don't care. They need to hear the truth about the Troof. What a joke. I still can't believe I was so snowed in by all of this shit...... sickens me.
I have a good life. Things turned out okay. I missed out on a free ride to MIT, so what? I make good money and I did it all on my own, but the years I wasted slaving away for nothing...that hurts. The loss of many good friends hurts too. Thankfully I had no family in the bOrg to lose..but I know most of you did and that angers me greatly.....
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Mega-Church buys JW Assembly Hall property in Indianapolis
by OrphanCrow inand yet another sale of watchtower property.... http://www.ibj.com/articles/59973-suburban-mega-church-expanding-into-downtown-with-big-purchase.
suburban megachurch expanding into downtown with big purchasea historic church building at the corner of 12th and delaware streets has been purchased by a large congregation expanding into the downtown area.. traders point christian church in whitestown is spending $2 million to renovate the 35,300-square-foot structure and should have it ready for worship early next year, rev.
james stanley said.. the neoclassical, limestone building has been used as a place of worship since it was built in 1912 and had been owned by the jehovah’s witnesses since 1978.. the location at 1201 n. delaware st., across from the benjamin harrison presidential site, will be the third for traders point.
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Freeandclear
What a big load of horse shit this all is....the hypocrisy is just staggering.....
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Describe your witness self, then describe yourself now.
by The Rebel inmy witness self :-very hollow, slightly lofty, characteristically judgemental, overwhelmingly convincing.. my non-witness self:- and in my imperfect way no longer taking the passive attitude to reality, and most importantly no longer feeling an outsider with my " true" friends..
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Freeandclear
I was trying to think how to put the before and after versions of myself but Londo111 just above me said it perfectly. I wasn't high anxiety though, but def full of guilt, gloom and doom and repressed.
All of that is gone. I've made peace with my existential angst that I went through briefly and have no problem with the fact that I will one day die. I live each day to the fullest. And yes, I'm much much happier now.
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Perfect Example of JW Dumbing Down
by thedepressedsoul injust take a look at this video.
i think arguing or debating scriptures is the most pointless thing ever.
everything at their meetings are so basic with no explanation.
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Freeandclear
I can't believe I was ever a part of this...... Watching this makes my skin crawl. It's all so absurd. All of it. The Bible, arguing with people at the doors and being so passionate about it.... It's just insanity to waste what little time we have here doing this shit. And that guy knew his way around his bible and his beliefs way more than those two "sisters". Shame. As you said, so dumbed down now.....
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Is the Bible God's word? Help please.....
by Freeandclear inso real quick, i know this comes up now and then and i've looked over some of the posts from the past but here's the thing.. when i was a jw i drank all the cool aid, i was 100% and so i have all my own arguments (from the jw's) for why the bible is inspired.
i no longer believe this but i'd really like to read something that is pretty much 100% academic on this subject.
i want to read what scholars have to say about the authenticity of the bible and it's claim at being the inspired word of god.
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Freeandclear
Hello everyone. So real quick, I know this comes up now and then and I've looked over some of the posts from the past but here's the thing.
When I was a JW I drank all the cool aid, I was 100% and so I have all my own arguments (from the JW's) for why the Bible is inspired. I no longer believe this but I'd really like to read something that is pretty much 100% academic on this subject. I want to read what scholars have to say about the authenticity of the Bible and it's claim at being the inspired word of God.
Do you have any suggestions for good books dealing conclusively with this subject? Or if you want maybe you can just put a list in your comments of why the Bible can not possibly be God's word.
Thank you so very much. This has really been on my mind lately.
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God does not desire any to be destroyed?
by stuckinarut2 inso if the idea is promoted that god doesn't want anyone to be destroyed, why does he make it so confusing for people to learn about him?.
why are there thousands of differing religions?.
why has "his only true organisation" even taught so many varying doctrines?.
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Freeandclear
Religion is a scam and a racket. He got it right the first time all those years ago. ALL religion. If God wanted us to know the real truth he would make sure we all know. Simple as that. It's not Isalm, it's not Christianity, it's not Judaism or any other ism. It's all bunk. God might exist but he/she/it doesn't give a hoot what we believe or he would make us know. How can anyone really think anything otherwise? Puh-leeze.......
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God does not desire any to be destroyed?
by stuckinarut2 inso if the idea is promoted that god doesn't want anyone to be destroyed, why does he make it so confusing for people to learn about him?.
why are there thousands of differing religions?.
why has "his only true organisation" even taught so many varying doctrines?.
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Freeandclear
There is NO way, if there is a God, that he wrote or had written the Bible for our enlightenment. NO FUCKING way. It's far to confusing far to duplicitous. Too many interpretations all of it makes no sense whatsoever. It's a book written by man. God is a great concept, one that I do believe in to some degree, but I know that there are NO religions on this Earth that have it all right. In fact to my mind the only religion we really need is our conscience. Follow that, most people would agree that causing pain to another (human or animal) intentionally is wrong. So avoid that and love each other, do good and try very hard to do no harm. Live your life. There is most likely something more after this, something so wonderful we can not even comprehend it. If God really wanted us to know what this 'something' was we would know. If HE really wanted us to worship him in a certain fashion we WOULD fucking know. Period. The Bible is a joke, ALL religion is a joke, a very bad man-made joke. Follow your heart and your conscience and enjoy your damn life.
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In a really good place right now.....
by Freeandclear ini'm in a great place mentally and spiritually in my life right now.
i just wanted to share.
because i know many of you are new and have just left the borg and well there are some tough times ahead but i want to assure you you can get through this and come out the other side much happier and more at peace.. i'm 44. got baptized at 18. was a convert not a born in.
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Freeandclear
Heartsafire. Honestly, I'm not sure. I have always from a very young age believed in God. When I woke up my whole life was turned upside down and I got to a point where I was very angry with god then to a point where I didn't even think he existed. Or if he did he didn't care about us at all.... It was a very dark place to be.
Then the other night I realized I needed god. Not that he needed me, or that some religion was telling me I needed him or that I needed saving. I don't believe in any of that. I just knew I personally needed him in my life, or at least the idea of him. I don't believe the Bible is god's word. I just don't think it can be. No way an almighty being would write that book. I'm not saying it doesn't have some good things in it or something's worth reading but it's definitely not from God imo.
I simply came to realize that whatever I chose to believe the end result is the exact same. I will die. Period. We all will. And 2, no one has the answers. So I could chose to be miserable thinking God doesn't exist and that our existence is pointless or I could chose to believe that god does exist and there is some reason we are here. We may not know the answers but at least my mind is open to the idea of god and a higher purpose, and for me that was all I needed. No more hopelessness, no more despair or depression of my existential crisis. It just simply vanished. Quite amazing really.
So where did it come from? I don't know. Just my own brain realizing that the better of two evils was to believe in something rather than nothing.
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In a really good place right now.....
by Freeandclear ini'm in a great place mentally and spiritually in my life right now.
i just wanted to share.
because i know many of you are new and have just left the borg and well there are some tough times ahead but i want to assure you you can get through this and come out the other side much happier and more at peace.. i'm 44. got baptized at 18. was a convert not a born in.
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Freeandclear
I'm in a great place mentally and spiritually in my life right now. I just wanted to share. Why? Because I know many of you are new and have just left the bOrg and well there are some tough times ahead but I want to assure you you can get through this and come out the other side much happier and more at peace.
I'm 44. Got baptized at 18. Was a convert not a born in. Struggled with guilt and depression and pent up sexual urges the entire time I was in. Left at 21 for 7 years (got married to a "worldly" girl) then right after my divorce I got back in. The guilt and depression were soon to catch back up with me....so I was floating in and out of meetings for the next 10 years or so... Got reproved once and then finally April of 2015 I got disfellowshipped because I was still in love with a girl (worldly) and unrepentant.
After my df'ing I started to really dig into this religion. For some reason I no longer felt afraid of "Apostate" websites and such since I was df'd anyway. Found jwfacts.com and wow, what an eye opener. I had read CoC by Franz a couple of years before my df'ing and while enlightening it didn't really open my eyes to TTATT at that time. I would say I've been fully awake for about a year now.
The hardest part for me wasn't losing those that I called my friends, and I had no family in the Troof so that wasn't really an issue for me, the hard part was losing all the answers. I always felt like I had it all figured out. Knew all the big answers to life's questions. Nothing phased me as a J-dub. Now that was all gone! No more answers. I missed that feeling of knowing it all and having a hope for something better....that killed me inside and I proceeded to have an existential crisis. You can read more about that in the other threads I started if you like....
My crisis got so bad for a while that I seriously considered suicide. It just sucked to feel like there was no point to living. You see, after my awakening I started to seriously doubt the existence of God, and thus for ME with no God this equaled no purpose, no hope, no point to any of this. I got to a very very dark place. I was drinking a lot and things were just not good at all.
Then I had a realization. I could live this life feeling hopeless and like there was no point to it or I could find some way to deal with it. Either way the end result is the same. I'm going to die. That's just a part of life. We were conditioned as JW's to see death as something UN-natural and something to be hated, something that wasn't supposed to happen. But finally I saw the truth of the situation. Death IS a natural part of life. Death is normal. Everything dies. Plants, animals and yes humans. It's part of the cycle of life.
So what made me finally okay with all of this terrible reality? This one idea: Perhaps there is a god and perhaps we're just not meant to know all the answers right now. This one thought brought me so much peace. The depression and hopelessness of my situation instantly disappeared upon this realization. We don't have to know all the answers. We (all of us; ie. every human who's ever lived) don't know what's next. We don't know why we are here and what the purpose of this life is. But that does not mean there isn't one! Yes, this idea really helped me. I came to realize that perhaps there is something much more going on here that we can even comprehend at this point. Again, either way the end result is the same. We die. Some day I, you, and all that have ever and will ever live will stop breathing and will cease to exist as humans. But that does not necessarily mean that is the end. I'm not saying it is or it isn't, what I'm saying is the way we choose to PERCEIVE this idea is what can make all the difference.
If I think, okay I'm just going to die and be forgotten and that's it, then I'm miserable (I was anyway....I'm sure some can be perfectly fine with this idea but I could not) or I could think, okay I'm going to die, everyone is but that doesn't mean it's the end. There could be a million different things that happen after, and a million different reasons why we are here and why we are humans with this short life. This idea really brought me peace and put things in perspective for me.
I don't have the answers, and now I'm okay with that. I'm not mad at god anymore. I'm just a human with this life to live. I can chose to waste my time trying to figure out the unknowable (all the big answers) and be miserable (after all no one has ever figured it out; if they did we'd all know about it!), or I can appreciate each day and enjoy it and have a hope that something else does happen and that at some future time all the answers will be revealed to us all.
Either way the end result is the same. We die. One of two possibilities exist after death: 1. it's the end and that's that, eternal non-existence or 2. something else happens. In the first case I will not know anything anyway so why stress about it now? In the second case: GREAT! Something else!
The difference for me is NOW. How I chose to believe or open my mind to the possibilities of something else. This has brought me peace and I'm am very very thankful.
I prayed the other night for the first time in a very long time. It wasn't to Jehovah, it was just to god. I told him I was done being mad at him and that I needed the idea of him in my life. I expressed my thoughts to him and perhaps I was merely talking to myself in my head, it really doesn't matter in the end, because for me it helped. It helped me NOW. It's helping me to live each day and enjoy each day to the full just having the idea that possibly there is a god and something else after this life.
I know this won't work for everyone. But it's working for me, and I just wanted to share in case anyone else is going through something similar. My only thought for you is keep your mind open to the possibilities. We don't know anything. It's isn't for us apparently to know, because, if it were I think God would have made things crystal clear and he hasn't therefore perhaps were just here for a short time to enjoy this life and what it has to offer. We just don't know, but that doesn't mean nothing happens.
Hope this made some semblance of sense to someone.