As an addendum to the above mention of Just So stories*
Rudyard Kipling's Just So Stories each tell how a particular animal was modified from an original form to its current form by the acts of man, or some magical being. For example, the Whale has a tiny throat because he swallowed a mariner, who tied a raft inside to block the whale from swallowing other men. The Camel has a hump given to him by a djinn as punishment for the camel's refusing to work (the hump allows the camel to work longer between times of eating). The Leopard's spots were painted by an Ethiopian (after the Ethiopian painted himself black). The Kangaroo gets its powerful hind legs, long tail, and hopping gait after being chased all day by a dingo, sent by a minor god responding to the Kangaroo's request to be made different from all other animals.
TerryWalstrom
JoinedPosts by TerryWalstrom
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22
Considering God's 'failure'
by TerryWalstrom injehovah's "failure".
we humans never seem to consider god in terms of anything but power and ability.
the idea of 'failure' is preposterous.. .
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TerryWalstrom
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22
Considering God's 'failure'
by TerryWalstrom injehovah's "failure".
we humans never seem to consider god in terms of anything but power and ability.
the idea of 'failure' is preposterous.. .
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TerryWalstrom
Jehovah's "Failure"_________We humans never seem to consider God in terms of anything but Power and Ability. The idea of 'failure' is preposterous.Or, is it?If we take our notions of Jehovah in terms of PURPOSE, even the most devout pilgrim must acknowledge --at least for now--such PURPOSE has not come to pass."Oh, but it will!"Okay, if you say it enough times. Sure.The Apostles and disciples ended their fervent prayers with, "Come quickly, Lord Jesus."And we're still waiting.JW's who jury-rigged Jesus' 'arrival' back in 1914 are forced to split such an invisible notion into two halves! Their Jesus has been busy all these years GUIDING the Governing Body in circles.Such a great guide! What a marvellous plan. Hooray.Be that as it may...I would reduce the problem of J-God's failures into one compound thought and I'll share it with you for your autopsy.Here it is:J-God's failure stems from having created INFERIOR creatures (making them less than divine) and holding them to perfect standards. Humans are inferior to Angels. Angels are inferior to God. (We'll side-step the whole Michael/the Word/Trinity argument).Holding a legless person to height standards is unthinkable. How does Jehovah differ? Not at all.JW theology builds an argument forever crumbling under poor design.Concocting a Legal Contract with Israel and attaching a malediction to failure to uphold a perfect law guaranteed centuries of persecution and hounding. The Jews (like Jehovah's Witnesses) buy-in to a special relationship and status and end up ruinously disappointed--all the while--covering up for it. (Not admitting God's failure.)The Apostle Paul (more or less the founder of Christianity as a theological reasoning process) lamented he was torn between what he wished to do and what his human nature demanded instead.It's like a stone wishing to float like a balloon!Conflict of nature is a very silly notion and I'll tell you why.IF...(I say "IF") we are designed and manufactured by a Divine being such as Jehovah, then we can't escape His design flaws.Dogs chase cars. It is their nature. Sure, you can punish the dog--but why not create him differently? (If you're God, of course.)The scenario mainstream Christianity suggests consists of DYING and being re-engineered into something ELSE entirely.Doesn't that REALLY mean--"Oops, let me start over and try again with these humans and angels and the whole damned architecture?"Well, it does to me!Christianity is a 'back-to-the-drawing-board situation contrived to look like a DIVINE PLAN of the ages.God's failure (I repeat) stems solely from creating creatures INFERIOR to Himself and demanding they adhere to a SUPERIOR standard wholly against the very nature He imposed.The Ad Hoc explanation of the serpent, Garden, Sin is no better than a Rudyard Kipling "Just So" story.God manufactured a chair. The first time anybody sat in it--it crumbled. Let's blame the sitter?Bah, Humbug.Build a better chair and it won't crumble!VICTIMS BLAME THEMSELVES!Accepting some built-in 'sin' from ancestors is a 'blame-yourself' victim argument.Surely we can't blame God?GOD FAILED and took humanity down with His error.JESUS FAILED and there are forty thousand denominations eager to make slightly different arguments as to why it only appears to be failure IF you come to their church and believe their proprietary nonsense.Whichever "God" humans think up--they still die hoping that self-same deity has been appeased by ritual and virtuous hijinks.Notice, if you will, this is not an Atheist argument at all.I'm granting an implied "swallow the gnat with the camel" presupposition.I just toss this out as an observation on my part.It isn't clever. It isn't argumentative.Think of me as just a man looking at a gorgeous old building with collapsed walls while reading a plaque which says, "The most perfect structure by the finest architect which endures forever."What is APOLOGIA?It consists of talking people out of plain sense by contrived arguments.It's considered an act of Faith.Been there. Done that. Thanks, but No Thanks.Have your say ... -
11
Encounter with C.I.A. Military Dude
by TerryWalstrom inencounter with c.i.a.
military dudewhat follows is my conversation with a well-muscled dude in a paramilitary shirt (outside on starbucks’ patio) yesterday.military dude: (pointing) “rear tire : ya got a flat, buddy.”me: “thanks.
slow leak.
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11
Encounter with C.I.A. Military Dude
by TerryWalstrom inencounter with c.i.a.
military dudewhat follows is my conversation with a well-muscled dude in a paramilitary shirt (outside on starbucks’ patio) yesterday.military dude: (pointing) “rear tire : ya got a flat, buddy.”me: “thanks.
slow leak.
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TerryWalstrom
Bear paws sounds better
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11
Encounter with C.I.A. Military Dude
by TerryWalstrom inencounter with c.i.a.
military dudewhat follows is my conversation with a well-muscled dude in a paramilitary shirt (outside on starbucks’ patio) yesterday.military dude: (pointing) “rear tire : ya got a flat, buddy.”me: “thanks.
slow leak.
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TerryWalstrom
I have the same opinion. Anybody who begins a conversation with a total stranger by spilling the beans of something
you've sworn never to divulge--is always slightly suspect :) -
11
Encounter with C.I.A. Military Dude
by TerryWalstrom inencounter with c.i.a.
military dudewhat follows is my conversation with a well-muscled dude in a paramilitary shirt (outside on starbucks’ patio) yesterday.military dude: (pointing) “rear tire : ya got a flat, buddy.”me: “thanks.
slow leak.
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TerryWalstrom
ENCOUNTER with C.I.A. Military Dude
What follows is my conversation with a well-muscled dude in a paramilitary shirt (outside on Starbucks’ patio) yesterday.
Military Dude: (pointing) “Rear tire : ya got a flat, Buddy.”
Me: “Thanks. Slow leak. I have a hand pump.”
Military Dude: (Eyeballing the pocket knife clipped to my pants) :
“That your EDC?” (Every Day Carry)
Me: (Removing it and handing it over to him) “Here ya go.”
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Okay, so this is a “guy thing” and it led to a “You show me yours and I’ll show you mine” situation. (Only: not THAT kind you dirty-minded galoots.)
This burly, stereotypical man-bot began divesting himself of an awe-inspiring arsenal of “defensive” weapons while I watched slack-jawed.
He introduced himself.
His name is Rothwell, but I momentarily thought he said “Roswell” and I glanced at his ear tips to check for Vulcan status.
Eventually, he said his name was Weldon, but he went by the nickname: CRUNCH.
Crunch Rothwell: “Glock 9”
He had lifted his untucked shirt revealing the automatic weapon tucked into his waistband in front, pointing muzzle down at his poppycock.
I winced inwardly.
Crunch recited a litany of descriptions of the various hardware and began telling me how he’d been a Navy Seal and had worked on contract with the C.I.A.
“I can’t talk about that...” he said --as he began talking about it.
Every few sentences, he’d begin by saying, “The Good Lord gave us brains so’s we’d have the good sense to... “
(Fill in the blank with cautionary advice about taking proper measures by purchasing expensive defensive gear.)
Finally, he tossed it back to me with a half-smile, “What other gear ya got on you?”
I reached into my various pockets and came up with a packet of rancid cashews.
Me: “These are to protect me from deadly indigenous wildlife attacks.”
His eyes got wide.
Crunch: “Like...wha-a-a-t?”
Me: “Aviary predators with scathingly brilliant tactical incursion techniques.”
Crunch: “Um--I don’t follow you.”
Me: “I can’t talk about that.” (I would be embarrassed to tell him about Edgar the Crow.)He stared at me a few seconds. Probably he was deciding whether or not I was insane or just mocking him.
We sat in silence.
Finally, I got up and excused myself. He nodded. As I placed my hand on the door pull, I stopped, half-turned and offered my own version of cautionary advice.
“Say, Crunch--the Good Lord gave us brains so’s we’d tuck our Glock 9 in our rear pant waistband. You see, He in His infinite wisdom knows a pistol can sometimes discharge accidentally. Consequently, He hath provided a groove between our buttcheeks to prevent the bullet from injuring our corruptible flesh.”
I flashed my most friendly smile and disappeared inside.
Sure enough, I peeked through the glass as Crunch Rothwell transferred his Glock 9 to his rear waistband.
I always say, “Pay it forward. One day you save your own ass and the next somebody else’s.”
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7
The punchline is tuna
by TerryWalstrom inthe punchline is "tuna".
(excerpt from my autobiography, a funny thing happened on my way to armageddon).
esther had very long, bright red hair like a disney character and she might have been almost attractive--if it weren't for two things.
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TerryWalstrom
I've been thinking about Esther and her daughter Vicki for the last 24 hours and curiosity has gotten the better of me. I am making inquiries.
If I find out I will post the update. -
17
Man on the High Castle
by Gorbatchov ing. was binge watching on amazon prime the serie the man on the high castle.
because my interest in history subjects a good choice!
what i mentioned was the family of john smith, the obergruppenfuhrer.
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TerryWalstrom
Man in the High Castle is one of the most compelling series I have EVER watched!
The production values are off the charts; acting, photography, and music never less than top form.
I'm very happy another Season has been approved.
I would say--if you're only thinking about watch--sit down for at least the first 2 episodes.
That will do it--you'll be hooked as I am.
There is the world we live in and the world that we might have lived in if other choices were made we are all haunted by and the idea of merging these is fascinating. -
7
The punchline is tuna
by TerryWalstrom inthe punchline is "tuna".
(excerpt from my autobiography, a funny thing happened on my way to armageddon).
esther had very long, bright red hair like a disney character and she might have been almost attractive--if it weren't for two things.
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TerryWalstrom
Not that it matters in the least--but, I finally remembered her daughter's name. It was Vicky.
Vicky was a "Princess". As I recall, she let her hair grow so long it was all the way down to the Australian Outback. Sort of another reason to grab attention as I reckoned it.
When I departed Texas for California, I left all those Dubby "friends" to languish in the past.
So I wonder what happened to them?
Mostly they died off like some endangered species.
They'd never grow old in this "Old System of things".
How important we all felt back then...to be the very ones who'd see the Old pass away and the New World Order commence.
This morning when I woke up I must have had some burp of memory spill over into my dream and Esther, Sister Esther was there again.
My fellow JW, Johnny, and I used to make jokes about Sister Esther.
Q: Why is Esther flat-chested?
A: Not enough Esther Chin
(Insert laugh) -
7
The punchline is tuna
by TerryWalstrom inthe punchline is "tuna".
(excerpt from my autobiography, a funny thing happened on my way to armageddon).
esther had very long, bright red hair like a disney character and she might have been almost attractive--if it weren't for two things.
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TerryWalstrom
The Punchline is "Tuna"
(Excerpt from my autobiography, A FUNNY THING HAPPENED ON MY WAY TO ARMAGEDDON)
Esther had very long, bright red hair like a Disney character and she might have been almost attractive--if it weren't for two things.
1. She was awful
2. She had no chin.
I mean, just don't look at her in profile. That's what I mean.
I, on the other hand, have a magnificent chin. Consequently, we were foreordained to become natural enemies.
She was Esther Brown. Sister Brown to all JW's.
When her husband died she discovered he was well-insured and she was suddenly very wealthy. Moreso than ever before.
Unlike most of the members of our local congregation, Esther lived the high life. New, sleek cars, sparkly bracelets, and frequent trips to exotic lands set Esther and her daughter apart from mere mortals.
She was, on her best day, awful.
I said, her BEST day.
The daughter was even worse, IMHO.
We were Jehovah's Witnesses and it was 1960. The religion was a wee bit different than today. We could have picnics and parties back then.
Esther Brown threw lavish parties! Big show-offy parties.
I was invited even though painfully shy. (Esther was required to invite EVERY JW, you see.)
I was a wallflower. My best friend, Johnny Santa Cruz was the opposite. He was loud, funny, and knew how to create a vortex in the Space-Time fabric of the Universe.
I sat in his shadow whispering one-liners which he'd repeat and get big laughs. (I played the role of Cyrano.)
I guess you could say I was an apprentice to Johnny, under-study for the role of LIFE OF THE PARTY.
"How does he managed to be the center of attention?"
I wondered scientifically whilst quietly making it my scheme to achieve a breakout performance someday.
These JW parties inevitably devolved into parlor games and I never participated. Too shy.
So...
Sister Esther Brown singled me out. At a quiet moment, she stood in front of one and all and pointed to me and spoke in a "stage whisper" (so everyone could hear).
"If you're not going to join in with the rest of us, Terry, why do you even bother to show up at my party?"
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Red-faced embarrassment stunned me.
All eyes on me.
Today I'd have a quick retort--not so back then.
I shrugged like the big schlub I truly was.
However...I plotted revenge...a dish best served cold, as they say.
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Shortly after my being "called out", I slunk away and walked home from the festivities. I was pleased with myself and the dish served cold I'd left behind.
Fast-forward a month or so.
Esther Brown, self-important Sister Brown, was complaining about how she would have to sell her house. Oh, how she loved her house--but it had become uninhabitable!
Real Estate agents couldn't even show the house until the problem was solved.
Not until her furniture was moved into storage did an improvement commence.
Sister Brown and her snotty daughter went on a trip to China in the meantime...remaining for a month.
The house sold.
Sister Brown returned--with a NEW HUSBAND!
He was a Chinese Jehovah's Witness.
We all shook his hand (secretly feeling sorry for his destiny.)
Well, can you guess?
He had a strong personality and ruled over his wife with a hand of iron.
She meekly obeyed.
Wow!
They built a new home.
Out of storage came the old furniture.
A horror of horrors! The old "problem" was back!
You see--there was an incredible STENCH which would not
go away. A sort of Old Testament plague.
Perhaps it was DEMONS!
Professionals were brought in to determine the cause.
Not the sofa.
Not the curtains.
Not the mattresses or rugs or pillows.
That only left the curtain rods...big brass curtain rods with the end pieces removed revealing putrifying contents.
The punch line is Tuna Fish.
Tuna casserole, to be exact.
I think I had read about this in a book or maybe a film.
I can't recall exactly. Maybe I thought of it myself on the spot during the party.
58 years have passed and memory fades, you see.
Our story has a happy ending, of course.
Sister Esther Brown had a long and happy marriage to her second husband, Wang Chin.
Yes! Finally, Esther had a Chin.
And I had my revenge.
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