just wanted to let everyone know that today, piph and i attended the last day of our last borg assembly ever!
the feeling walking out was wonderful.
my heart kind of sank a little when i remembered that i still had to attend meetings for a little over a month.
I don't have a vivid memory of my last Assembly but your story reminded me of the tapes. You know the ones. I can remember being lucky enough to be sick during a convention and got to sit at home and watch tv but then someone brings in a stack of cassette tapes saying how wonderful it was. ARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!! Now what? I had to sit there and pretend to listen for hours and hours.
TimB
i have been dating this woman for two months.
i somehow agreed to being monogamus with her....the details aren't important..but here i am stuck in a relationship that daily grows more unbearable.
i have been trying to get the nerve to end it for the last 6 weeks...lol well it's true.
Nosferatu,
Good advice, imho. I did tell her that I wasn't looking to get serious. I even reminded her and warned her not to get serious with me. Would have been content (and monogamous) with a short term relationship. I found her interesting and wanted to get to know her. When she began having "strong feelings" for me I knew I had to cut it off but then I kept worrying about timing. For example: She had noone but me to help her move her 3 bedroom apt full of stuff this last weekend. I couldn't tell her before this weekend because ending it then would leave her without help at the last minute. The weekend before she had a party at her house and if I dumped her just before that it would be humiliating. So this has gone on for longer than I wanted it to because I was trying to be nice.
I want to know more about how to get some of these gifts and favors though. Could you help me a little more with that one. :) I did get an all expense paid first class trip to Vegas once from a woman I never met before or since. I'm not sure how that happened though. One of those internet things.
Stinkypantz,
I have had some success with that approach but you can usually tell right away if a woman is open to that kind of thing. Some are and some aren't. Some seem to want to get to know you first and then progress to the thing that us guys really want.
TimB
i have been dating this woman for two months.
i somehow agreed to being monogamus with her....the details aren't important..but here i am stuck in a relationship that daily grows more unbearable.
i have been trying to get the nerve to end it for the last 6 weeks...lol well it's true.
First of all I would like to thank you all for the input. I haven't had internet access but I have been kept abreast of your thoughts and I did take it into consideration.
I would like to explain that I didn't feel right about a relationship with her from the beginning. She told me that she wanted me to be monogamous after we had been out 3 times. She knew that I had a few "female friends". At that time I didn't think it would last more than a week or two and I fully intended to be monogamous. Oh and by the way, she asked me that when we were naked in bed. What am I supposed to say at that point? "Um no I don't think I want to have sex with just one woman"???? That would have really spoiled the mood. I did tell her that I had no intention of getting serious and yet she got serious on me in less than 3 weeks. She kept making plans for the future. She even bought a house and suggested that there was room for me and my daughter. She told me that she was having very strong feelings for me and asked me what I thought of that. I told her "I don't think that's a good idea." I explained at that point that "I'm not in love with you but I do enjoy hanging out with you" I told her that I thought that there was a good chance that she would get hurt if she had feelings for me. She told me "You're not responsible for my feelings".
I was dating her because I found her interesting and attractive. I did not want to have a serious relationship or a long term relationship. In hind sight, I should have been more clear about that. I should tell every woman I meet that I'm just looking for sex buddies. Right? Come on! We all know that dating is a game. Rarely do we find someone that we can be completely honest with especially if we don't want to settle down right now. It can happen and it has. I have at least 4 female "freinds" who are ok with that.
Anyway. Last night I did tell her that I didn't have feelings of love for her and that I didn't think it was possible. I explained that we had some very important differences in our personalities that made it impossible to progress. I told her that it wasn't that there was a problem with her. She agreed. She got angry saying that when we made love she saw things in my eyes that told her that I felt differently. She felt that I was being dishonest. I told her that in that moment, what I felt was genuine but it may not have been what she thought it was. I apologized and took my verbal beating without any more defense. She still wants me to come back and do some electrical work for her.
For the record. STDs are not an issue. I use protection. Also I didn't see anyone new during that period. The only women I was with were ones that I had been with just prior to her.
It's interesting to see some still clinging to the judgemental attitudes that we were taught in the borg. Yes, I am different than most but if you were to talk to the people who know me, including my ex, you would find that although I do make some bad decisions I am still a decent human being.
Again thanks for the advice. It worked.
TimB
this is xandrias little sister.
i finally got on the board, guess there were some tech difficulties.
just wanted to say hi to everyone, and that i'm very happy to be here!
Hello
i have been dating this woman for two months.
i somehow agreed to being monogamus with her....the details aren't important..but here i am stuck in a relationship that daily grows more unbearable.
i have been trying to get the nerve to end it for the last 6 weeks...lol well it's true.
I have been dating this woman for two months. I somehow agreed to being monogamus with her....the details aren't important..but here I am stuck in a relationship that daily grows more unbearable. I have been trying to get the nerve to end it for the last 6 weeks...lol well it's TRUE. My biggest problem is that I don't want to cause her pain. I know there is no way to end it without causing her ANY pain but I want to minimize it. She has already said she loves me, without any prompting or encouragement from me. I have told her that I DO NOT love her, but that I do enjoy hanging out with her sometimes. You would think that would have done it wouldn't you? I have tried being argumentative, even though it goes against my nature to be that way. I started trying to distance myself by being unaffectionate even going so far as to be too tired for sex, which is also very much against my nature!
Now I know I have to directly confront this situation because she is still not getting it. My question to you is what is the best way to do this? Do I:
A. Tell her that the chemistry is not there and that I could never be in love with her. Leaving her to question her looks, personality and ability to be loved.
OR
B. Tell her I have been unfaithful to her, making it her decision and leaving her pride intact? But making me out to be an asshole.
BTW I have actually been unfaithful, several times. So technically I am an asshole, but should I be honest about it?
Eagerly awaiting your imput as I really want this to be over!
TimB
A story is a story. If it is meant to sound real and incite fear and panic, like yelling "FIRE" in a theater, then it's wrong. Otherwise, in my opinion, there should be no limits on what can be written. Even when it involves specific people and places. If we put those kind of restrictions on writing then how many movies do you think would get written. How many action movies depict specific places and even specific people getting destroyed? Does that make them wrong and dangerous?
TimB
of late i have been rattling on about my new boy toy- .
it was a wonderful summer romance that began with the kick off of memorial day fireworks, peaked on the fourth of july--and fizzled out before labor day.
oui?
Jo,
Men are pigs. But then I think women should be pigs with them. If for no other reason than I've heard that pigs can have one hour orgasms.
I would say that if the man was truly in love with you or thought that your relationship was strong enough to last forever, he wouldn't have cheated. It's not a reflection on you. It just means that he wasn't able to communicate his true feelings. There has to be some chemistry that tells a man he's in the right place. It's not as simple as adding up the good qualities and weighing them against the bad. If that were the case then we could all find mates by using a matchmaker or letting our parents or a computer program choose for us. I'm sure you are a wonderful person and you shouldn't view the "cheating" as a judgement of you. It doesn't even make him an evil person, in my opinion. Just someone who didn't know how else to deal with the situation. I could be wrong. It could be that he just didn't respect you or himself enough to honor a commitment but I'll bet that it would hurt worse if he just came to you and said that it was over because he wanted to try to find something else.
thanks to little toe's piquing my interest on this subject, i hafta ask it...... .
has anyone here had any personal spiritual experiences and is anyone here brave enough to describe/relate any personal spiritual experiences they've had, whether pre-borg, during being borganized or post-borg?
to be more specific, have you ever seen any angels or spirit creatures, been made aware of their presence in any way, interacted with or communicated with them, or had dream/visions...etc?
So, if you're looking for God, he'll find you
Hmmm. Sounds like you have the answers. Are you sure? Isn't it possible that god doesn't find you but that you find god? I was fascinated by the Penacostal manifestation of the spirit and did some anecdotal research. I found that people usually didn't get the "gifts" (speaking in tongues, paralysis, rolling on the floor, visions and premonitions etc.) unless they really wanted them. It seems that these "gifts" were manifested by a power of suggestion either by thier peers or by themselves. Did god find them? I don't think so. NOTICE THAT I DIDN'T MAKE AN ABSOLUTE STATEMENT HERE. I ONLY STATED MY OPINION BASED ON WHAT I'VE EXPERIENCED.
What do you think of the little old lady who lifts the car off of someone she loves? Some would say that god gave her that strength. It's not something she would normally be able to do.
What about Lance Armstrong? Survived a desperate battle with cancer to go on and be the best bike rider in the world again and again. Is that humanly possible. Did god feel the need to intervene? I would try to keep an open mind.
TimB
thanks to little toe's piquing my interest on this subject, i hafta ask it...... .
has anyone here had any personal spiritual experiences and is anyone here brave enough to describe/relate any personal spiritual experiences they've had, whether pre-borg, during being borganized or post-borg?
to be more specific, have you ever seen any angels or spirit creatures, been made aware of their presence in any way, interacted with or communicated with them, or had dream/visions...etc?
I've never had one of those experiences but I was there one time when it happened to someone else. A couple of years ago I was dating a woman who was Penacostal. During church services she would lose the use of her legs. She would need crutches to get back to her car or someone would carry her. I was kissing her in the park one day and I touched the small of her back and her legs went stiff. She couldn't move. I had to carry her back to the car. Was this a gift from god? Unlikely. We were both married at the time but not to each other. Of course, being the snake that I am, I told her that it was God telling her that she was doing the right thing by being there with me. {I'm a bad, bad man}
I have to agree with Gumby mostly on this one. I hope that science will be able to explain some of this phenomenon before we die. I don't think that God is sending us personal messages. Sorry for disagreeing with those of you who have a "personal" relationship with the Almighty asshole who has the power to fix things but just sits back and giggles as another pathetic human believes that he actually loves them.
I had a very strong feeling once that this girl loved me. Turned out that I was wrong about that feeling. I did feel love. What I felt was real. It just wasn't coming from her. It was coming from me.
Some of you may remember those "Yearbook" experiences about how the Gestapo would come and search this faithful JW family's home and completely miss the banned literature. Even when they looked right at it. Was that God protecting them? There are millions of stories. We all love to hear them. Some of us just feel pity for the poor uneducated backwoods native who thinks that something "supernatural" is a sign that dog still cares.
TimB
well i am off to america for the weekend for camping and drinking at the six flags park.
the dave matthews band is playing so it should be a ripper!.
.
Six Flags Darien Lake Darien Center, New York Darien Lake started in 1964 as a campground. In 1977, waterslides were built over the lake. The first couple of amusement park rides arrived in the next few years. The park was owned by Funtime Parks, but Premier Parks purchased Funtime in 1995. The park was renamed Six Flags Darien Lake in 1999, and Premier Parks was renamed Six Flags, Incorporated in 2000.For AztecNightmare at Phantom Cave, an enclosed Jet Star coaster from Schwarzkopf, ran here from 1996 to 1998. It was originally Starchaser (1987-1995) at Six Flags Kentucky Kingdom, and is presently Nightmare At Crackaxel Canyon at Great Escape in Lake George, New York.
