Xanthippe
You put very beautifully when you wrote: “Religions don't have anything to do with our existence on this planet or anything that may be beyond. They're selling tickets for a gig they don't know the way to.”
Religions are collection of individuals, hence no better than an individual in perspective. Various teachings would emerge depending on what you believe.
For example, in some parts of the world, many believe that death is the end of man, hence pain, suffering and death are viewed very seriously.
In other parts of the world, many believe that life is eternal, species change only bodies; hence death and pain are a helpful mechanism so that people don’t become too egoistic.