Let me take one of you at a time (wink)
big
I'm surprised at you.
Well, I surprise a lot of people. It’s good to know I still can!
Did you read teejay's post to Ginny before you wrote what you did? Her characterization of him was unfair.
Yes, I did and I’m not so sure it was unfair. I believe Ginny was stating her opinion as she sees it based on evidence teejay provided by his writing. The fact is, once we’ve formed an opinion of someone, everything we then observe about them tends to be filtered through that existing opinion and by the time it gets into our brain, only the part that fits our opinion remains. I’ve seen this dynamic many times both on and off the net. With the additional problem of not actually seeing the individual, the odds of forming an incorrect perception of someone are greatly increased.
He only believed what she said about herself. Hell, she even had me fooled.
I went back to the original post, and frankly I don’t see how anyone could have taken her writing as anything but satirical. However, I will admit that my perception is filtered by the fact that I know Ginny’s sense of humor and that she is most assuredly, female.
I thought she was a guy. However,now she says she's a chick again. That's cool with me but I always give ppl the benefit of the doubt. Teejay may be one of those who choose not to. It's his choice. Also, in view of her characterization of him, I think he has all the right to do so.
So, if I understand what you’re saying, Teejay has a right to not give people the benefit of the doubt? OK, but if you’re going to live by that standard, expect it to be applied to you.
Big, I don’t have any idea what it is like to suffer from real, clinical depression. I’ve been through some rough shit in my life, but never the kind of debilitating depression where you can’t see any way out. I hope neither you nor teejay have either. I do know it exists in others and have seen the results. Like childbirth, you can understand or observe it, but you can never really know what it’s like unless you experience it yourself. Telling someone “it’s no big deal, so what you’ve had rough times, get over it” is like telling a paraplegic to get up and walk.
I'd like to ask you a few questions though. Is it right, in your estimation, to support friends that make unfair character assasinattions and insult ppl using the vilest terms imaginable? Is it right to call one poster on improper conduct, yet ignore said conduct from posters that are your friends'? Would or did you raise your children to be like that?
Good questions. It is right, in my estimation to support my friends even when I don’t entirely agree with them. If they have achieved the status of “friend”, that says they have already proven to have merit and substance so that I may temporarily suspend my first impression until I see what is behind their conduct. Their past history with me gives me reason to withhold judgment based on superficial observation. As for vile language, it seems to me plenty of that has been used on both sides of this discussion, so I think the glass-house rule had better apply. As you may or may not have read, I called my good friend Farkel to task on his use of a certain word. We’ve since put the issue to rest.
As for how I’ve raised my daughters, I’ve tried to impart to them what my mother imparted to me: don’t judge too quickly, make sure you have a complete understanding of a person before deciding their worth. Look for and expect good in people and you will most always find it. It seems to have worked fairly well for them, as they are both happy, successful adults.
Teejay:
I will be blunt. I hold no animosity toward anyone on this board, farkel and Ginny included (wouldn't it be nice for someone to show me where they see it?). That's the truth. I abhor bad behavior, however, especially when said behaviors are praised in one instance and vilified in another.
Well, I saw animosity in your words, but there again is that filter I spoke of to Big. As to deciding what constitutes “bad behavior”, I do think motive plays into the equation. Certainly the same conduct can be judged differently depending on the motive behind it. Let’s use, for example, using multiple identities on this forum: Ginny created the character “Ginger” so she could have fun with another side of her personality not readily associated with the intellectual side of herself she had previously revealed. Her motives were not to deceive or to mislead anyone, only to play act for reasons of humor. (Weird Al Yankovich has made a fortune doing this….it’s called “satire”.) However, if someone created a separate identity for reasons of arguing with themselves or congratulating themselves, that motive would be entirely different, would you agree?
The only 'problem' i have with farkel is his behavioral lapses. To pick one example, he was exceedingly unkind to Emmy and saw no need to take the littlest step toward making amends… Their attitude says that since we've written all these books and have 'helped' millions of people over the years we're absolved of responsibility for our mistakes. Someone has hurt feelings and their expense? That's THEIR problem. I would expect one with such an in-depth knowledge of the WTS to NOT mirror their behavior.
I see your point. To be honest, lots of people besides Farkel had a problem with Emmy. But if “behavioral lapses” could be understood, would you then concede that you should reserve your judgment of the man until you have all the facts? Several people have indicated to you that their history with Farkel reveals a different side to him. I’ve only known him for a relatively short time, and yet I see more than one dimension. Frankly, I have a problem with the language he uses, but I also know there is more to him than meets the eye. What I have seen from you, Scorpion, Kimberly and a few others is no less vitriolic. I’m willing to give you the “benefit of the doubt”, as your friend Big mentions.
I was sincere when I said I wanted to know what you were about. I hope I have not qualified (in your book, at least) as a sycophant or worshipper simply because I chose to support my friends, even when they sometimes do things I do not completely understand.
(edited because I SUCK at forum code)
