Posts by AndDontCallMeShirley

44

Local Elder wins hot tub.

by Clambake in

an elder in my cong.

test drove a new a car and was entered in this contest to win a new hot tub.

i don't know if he had to enter to was just.

AndDontCallMeShirley

@ DFTS: he thought that JW's could not participate in the stock market because that was no different than gambling at a casino

By that moronic reasoning a JW should never buy a house either.

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@ DoC: As I recall hot tubs lead to over drinking and swinger parties.

Why do you think I bought one?

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@ Vidiot: I don't know what's weirder...these four scenarios you just pulled out of your ass, or the fact that I can actually visualize them being used in demonstrations at an assembly.

I think what's weird is you visualizing me pulling things out of my ass . Which, by the way, would make for a great assembly demonstration.

14

How much did the other countries pay for the 1000 kingdom halls in the philippines!

by StephaneLaliberte in

ref: http://www.jw.org/en/jehovahs-witnesses/activities/construction/1000-kingdom-halls-philippines/.

while looking at the article one thousand kingdom halls and counting on jw.org, it immediately made me think: ahhh, this is where a large portion of the funds for the construction projects must go.

clearly, the philippinos are all poor and they need the financial support of richer countries.

AndDontCallMeShirley

What is it with Catholic countries and the JWs?

WT has always had a hardon for the CC and holds some permanent angst against it. Simply put, WT condemns the CC only because the CC got there first and WT hates being runner up.

To the OP: WT operates much like government bean counters. It can turm losses into gains, failures into triumphs all by creative accounting tactics. Despite the fact that the number of JWs is allegedly increasing, and the number of hours counted annually is increasing, while baptisms simultaneously stall or decrease, is creatively turned into growth and "progress" by WT.

Since WT has no transparency whatsover and cannot be audited by a neutral party, all one can do is speculate as to what's really going on. Short of outrightly fabricating the numbers (think: Enron) anyone with a fifth grade education can run the numbers and see WT is at the very least fudging somewhere along the way.

44

Local Elder wins hot tub.

by Clambake in

an elder in my cong.

test drove a new a car and was entered in this contest to win a new hot tub.

i don't know if he had to enter to was just.

AndDontCallMeShirley

His options at this point:

1. He will refuse the hot tub because hot tubs are fun and make life more enjoyable. A definite "no, no" for a JW. Time spent soaking in a hot tub is time stolen from Jehovah™, the God of Minutiae and the consummate Party Pooper.

2. He will accept the hot tub and immediately sell it. The proceeds will go to WT, where it will be used towards the new steam room in the Warwick Country Club spa and gymnasium facility.

3. He will see winning the hot tub as a test of Satan. Will he succumb to Satan's crafty ways and soak? Or will he remain faithful to Jehovah and not soak?

4. Despite the elder suffering from chronic back pain and neck stiffness, using the hot tub may mean alleviation of his muscle pain...but shows a clear lack of faith that Armageddon is coming "soon". If he waits just a little while longer for the Paradise Earth to fix his pain, instead of Satan's hot tub, he will be able to brag to Moses and John the Baptist that he was a JW of exceptional faith in the "Last Days".

47

convinced 95% of all active jw's don't have a clue as to where 1914 originates

by goingthruthemotions in

so talking with my wife last night...i was explaining to her about a conversation i had with a person at work about end times.

he has a strange belief that some scriptures in isaiah perdict something huge is going to happen in september of 2015. she then states that no one can predict the future only the father knows and he is in a cult.

lol on the inside.. i then stated "what about 1914 and the dubs perdiction and what it means today" she said no there was never any predictions.

AndDontCallMeShirley

And you just noticed all this after the event you said that would happen didn’t happen??

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That is the hallmark of all Bible "prophecy": only after the alleged fulfillment occurs does some Bible thumper stand back and say, "oh, thaaaaat's what the prophecy meant!"

Of course, it's easy to make events that have already occured fit the "prophecy" just as you thought it would. And, when you can't make it fit no matter how hard you try, you go to default:' it happened just as we said...but "invisibly".

Idiots.

21

If "The Feast" of the RC is so vitally important for every JW to consume.........

by Darth Fader The Sequel in

....... then why wouldn't the wtbt$ easily make the entire program, complete with rockstar gb's, cheesy dramas, etc, available on youtube or some other free or almost free web streaming service?

obviously it is a huge burden for a majority of the "friends" to attend a regional convention and many either cannot go or it takes all of our their funds (or borrowed funds) to be able to make it.

how about all the "friends" that are morbidly obese, infirm, have extreme health conditions, have unbelieving mates, or have mental issues which prevent them from attending a convention?

AndDontCallMeShirley

Why not just announce the link from stage?

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It wouldn't do any good because you still need to know the secret handshake and have a decoder ring.

38

Paul - GB Member (W 9/15/14)

by pixel in

ok, is this a "new understanding" or what?

up until this point i thought that the borg refered paul as a co or do, but never gb member:.

p. 12 now, why would paul a spiritual giant who likely was a member of the first-century governing bodycall himself a miserable man?.

AndDontCallMeShirley

But Paul didn't have the savvy to invent a "domestics" class to do all his work for him while he lounged in his ivory tower.

21

If "The Feast" of the RC is so vitally important for every JW to consume.........

by Darth Fader The Sequel in

....... then why wouldn't the wtbt$ easily make the entire program, complete with rockstar gb's, cheesy dramas, etc, available on youtube or some other free or almost free web streaming service?

obviously it is a huge burden for a majority of the "friends" to attend a regional convention and many either cannot go or it takes all of our their funds (or borrowed funds) to be able to make it.

how about all the "friends" that are morbidly obese, infirm, have extreme health conditions, have unbelieving mates, or have mental issues which prevent them from attending a convention?

AndDontCallMeShirley

@ DFTS: why wouldn't the WTBT$ easily make the entire program, complete with rockstar GB's, cheesy dramas, etc, available on YouTube or some other free or almost free web streaming service?

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For the same reason the GB didn't take out full page ads in every major newspaper worldwide, billboards and every tv and cable network announcing to the world that the Governing Body is the faithful slave that Jesus pointed to and they, and they alone, are God's channel for salvation.

It seems news that important should've been publicized in more than just the Study Edition of the WT, and mentioned only once at that.

WT historically likes to keep the really juicy stuff on the low low.

47

BOE 2014-07-13 Appointment and deletion of elders and ministerial servants

by WatchTower87 in

2014-07-13 appointment and deletion of elders and ministerial servantsto all bodies of elders.

the link removed by request is also available at the forms link.

the congregation secretary should arrange for this letter to be retained in the congregation permanent file of policy letters.

AndDontCallMeShirley

hey, GMJALMT:

1. epic off-topic post fail. Congratulations!

2. If after 50 years of reading about DNA you still haven't figured it out, why not just walk away? Maybe tackle a simpler question like, "why is the sky blue?"

3. I believe your question was answered on "Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader?"

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@ DD: Jesus the Christ is my mediator

I love you, man, but you don't really think a JW elder will buy that answer, do you? I mean, really! Every JW knows the governing body is their Mediator, not Jesus.

36

Women elders, what difference would they make?

by Freedom77 in

jw
friends

okay, let's do a big what-if: suppose the gb for its own unfathomable reasons suddenly got new light (tm) and decided to start appointing women elders and ministerial servants.

they would, of course, refer to the examples of junia (apostle), and priscilla and phoebe (deaconesses in wordlyspeak) in the greek scriptures; never mind what mental somersaults it would take to get them there.

stranger things have happened in wt history.. that being the case, would having women in positions of real authority make any significant difference in the congos or in the borg as a whole, and why or why not?.

AndDontCallMeShirley

@ Freedom77: No oral sex ---> back and forth and back and forth

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LOL. That's punny! (same for anal sex, by the way).

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If women were appointed as elders, there would be a lot of judicial action taking place

"Hell hath no scorn like a woman's fury"

Imagine a JC being formed by Elderette Marge because Sister Looks-So-Fine-in-Fishnet-Stockings and a tight skirt makes Elderette Marge look even worse than the frumpy, 80# overweight matron she already is.

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I've been in situations where I've worked for women in positions of power and influence. At that level, there is no difference between the sexes and the only thing that prevails is human nature and lust for more power and demolishing anyone who gets in the way.

Women as elders = same s**t, different day.

41

The Memorial- Passing the emblems, a prime display of weirdness

by Darth Fader The Sequel in

not sure if this bothered other people, but it absolutely drove me crazy!!!!.

ok, typical annual memorial.

the emblems are being passed around.

AndDontCallMeShirley

the very same brothers that spent the last 10 minutes passing out the emblems to a few hundred people must then go sit down in their reserved chairs in the front row of the hall and some other brother stands up and offers THEM the emblems to clutch and hold and fondle for absolutely no reason

Too funny! This was always the part that drove me crazy as well. The "Professional Passers" have already handled the plate and glass countless times...but it didn't count. Apparently, Jesus is a bear for detail and will not be happy if these brothers simply set the plate and glass down and walk away.

Ironically, Jesus is the one who condemned the Pharisees for arguing minutiae, like how far up the arm one should wash to be clean: to the elbow? above the elbow? The JW Memorial rules are no different.

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As much as JWs like to think they are free of religious traditions and nonsensical rituals of "Babylon"/Christendom, the truth is they are as mired down in tradition, empty ritual and childish superstition (Think Sparlock) as much as the next person.