Posts by TheDarksideHasCalledMe

Everyone thank you soo very much for the big welcome!! And I went and listened to Staind :Outside..........having PSTD can be quite a handful at times but I had good memories come back when I was listening to it. Everyone again thank you for your encouraging words, sometimes just feeling that the words are directed at you have more meaning. Unless its a FIRING SQUAD!!!!!! Nah nah, just kidding. I was just imagining what it would be like without the support of my wife, her folks and my whole family (The Human Race in general), otherwise I would be in front of a firing squad being shot up by JW's, and then they would pick up my sorry looking carcass and reprogram me back into HELL all over again!!!! Back in HAPPY IGNORANT BLISS...............YAAAAAY. Oh BTW and rape you with the lights on. In a cartoony and figurative way: A bullet to the head by Wilely Coyote would done it for me. You know put me out of my misery. :3

For DontCallMeShirley (DCMS)

And acronyms I get REALLY GOOD with at times. :3

27

Newbie Here- but I've been here the whole time

by TheDarksideHasCalledMe in

jw
friends

my wife and in-laws are now here and i'm on now.

i'm going to copy and paste my first post from jwstruggle...... my story is, i grew up as a jw.

my parents found out later on and didn't tell anyone.

TheDarksideHasCalledMe

My wife and in-laws are now here and I'm on now. I'm going to copy and paste my first post from JWStruggle.....

My story is, I grew up as a JW. The JW's came to our door when I was 5 or 6. I was old enough to remember celebrating my birthday and Christmas. I really missed not celebrating my birthday, because my "worldly" family wasn't there anymore and my JW family never did anything special for me. I didn't really miss Christmas so much.

Most of the time it wasn't my mom taking care of me, it was always a JW sister looking after me because my mom was always out in service. My dad soon followed and became a JW. After my parents became JW's, my brothers and I were neglected and abused by my parents. At some point my mom left and I don't really know how long she abandoned us, but during this time one of my older brothers molested me and my youngest brother, it continued for a long time. My parents found out later on and didn't tell anyone. Not the brothers from the hall, not family, not the authorities, no one...........I can't tell you how much agony, pain, anger, frustration, and psychological stress I felt, and feelings to the point I couldn't control them what so ever. I tried asking for help from my family many times but, to no avail. My parents told me just pray to Jehovah and basically just leave us alone we don't have time for your little feelings. Be a man about it; rely on a name that is not even his name. Always feeling inferior to my family, always protecting my family name because of what others thought of us, having grandparents who were Baptist. I remember for a time that my grandmother would call me "you little DEMON", but a few years later, she never called me that ever again. She saw that I was different than my brothers and sister. I had no confidence, no self-esteem, no real anything to help in a fight, an argument, who’s right, who’s wrong, always second guessing everything I do. (Forgive me but, I'll be jumping from memory to memory depending on how I'm feeling. Very random.)

I don't know how to prioritize very well, I'm still learning thanks to my loving wife. I had school mates that would make fun of me, all the way up to 10th grade, because I was a witness, different color, slow about learning anything. I was born with the umbilical cord wrapped around my neck as a baby. The nurse that came to help was drunk and my parents’ didn’t sue the hospital for having such a retard help deliver me. At least that’s what my parents say. Anyway I was born lynched and I was all blue and almost dead, but thanks to the nurse I grew up with brain damage which that didn't help my situation trying to cope with things in my life. Oh sorry I meant "HELL!!!!!". I can go on and on about how badly I was treated, hmp, I can still hear my mother or father say, "Rely on Jehovah" or "you need to stop thinking like that, with the amount of time you put into thinking you could be out in service" or "do you want to die when Armageddon comes". YEAH that is the family that I LOVED back. I keep thinking of that song from Three Days Grace: Hate Everything About You.

I was always confused about my feelings and I’d reprogrammed myself over and over every time I went to the meetings. I finally have control of my feelings. All that mind control and brainwashing, over and done, there is still the after effects. I have a very photographic memory and that is part of why it’s been so hard for me growing up. Every sound, smell, texture, how it looks, words being said, pictures, movies, sneezing, animals, landscape; almost anything could set off these memories of hurt feelings and being alone. I later found out I have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder known as PTSD. My wife and her folks could see that something was wrong with me right from when we got married. I had ALOT of emotional baggage and psychological problems. Her parents didn't like my parents what so ever. I'm the only one her folks like and loves, they can't stand my family. My wife and her family have shown me more love and support than my own family.

It's funny that now I'm out, I don't feel so loaded down by the burden that the organization put upon all of us. Matthew 11:28-30 It wasn't a job, a career, servitude, it was SLAVERY. The evil slave is definitely among us today and he is beating Christ belongings, his servants. I thought I was worthless in god's eyes. And I was right. The name "Jehovah" is actually a name made up by the catholic’s back in the late 14th century. Oh how disgusted I was when I found that out. Jehovah means god of chaos and deceit. Satan has been using this to his advantage for hundreds of years. Knowledge is power in itself but, can be misused by those who do not want us to know anything. The witnesses keep you blind, dumb and mute. Anything that is out of line with the witnesses, its apostate, that's apostate, your apostate. Execution on the spot!!
2 Timothy 3:1-9 says it all!!!!

Verse 1 "Remember that there will be difficult times in the last days."
Verse 2 "People will be selfish, greedy, boastful, and conceited; they will be insulting, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, and irreligious;"
Verse 3 "they will be unkind, merciless, slanderers, violent, and fierce; they will hate the good;"
Verse 4 "they will be treacherous, reckless, and swollen with pride; they will love pleasure rather than God;"
Verse 5 "they will hold to the outward form of our religion, but reject its real power. Keep away from such people."
Verse 6 "Some of them go into people's houses and gain control over weak women who are burdened by the guilt of their sins and driven by all kinds of desires,"
Verse 7 "women who are always trying to learn but who can never come to know the truth."
Verse 8 “As Jannes and Jambres were opposed to the truth-people whose minds do not function and who are failures in the faith."
Verse 9 "But they will not get very far, because everyone will see how stupid they are. That is just what happened to Jannes and Jambres." (GNT)

Those are the scriptures they will use on you to condemn you, if you are repentant and are willing to be reprogrammed; this very thing will keep on happening to those seeking the real truth. It's happened to me countless times! Here I'm 26 years of age and I can tell you. I'm FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M FREE from the anguish, pain, anger, frustration, psychological stress.

I pity the brothers and sisters very much. I have no hate for them but, only love. These feelings I now have, are not something I've ever experienced. The anger of that organization is what is bestowed upon all its followers, and hence forth they’re rage becomes their own. I don't have the feelings of anger that I used to and quite actually, I only have anger when the truth is being spewed on the ground before swine.

This was from a few months ago.

Since then I have returned back to the filth and debauchery of this world....back to the original time before I was a JW. I'm 5 years old again. I'm running around naked, pissing on my neighbors lawn and raising hell. It's not such a bad life....hehehehehe.

Seriously now, my wife and I are doing great and the pressure from the "world" isn't even there, so the pressure we felt wasn't from the "world" it was from the J-Dubs.

Darkside......I'm the one who drew the Return of the Sparklock cartoon and I have some more coming soon.