core

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Posts by core

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  97

  My wife’s and I meeting with two elders. Their true colors shine through…

  by Winston Smith :>D in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i thought id give you an update re whats going on.

  my qing the wts of recent has been very hard on my wife.

  if i could, i would change my timing of doing so, but its just the way it has happened.

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  core

  Winston

  Brilliant work and support for your wife. Your support is vital to her and I would only just add to the wise words already posted that you need to make sure you are receivng all the help and assistance YOU need as it is vital that you are there for your wife. I am sorry for not knowing what you can do except that I can see the danger of you being driven down by the constant stress and pressure - if any real help is there take it - if you can talk to someone do so... you have taken charge of the situation and I would only add KEEP IN CONTROL - keep the plumber, the baker and the candlestick maker out of your way and do things your way.

  So many hearts and minds are with you in this...... Keep Control, keep the dubs at bay, seek whatever help you can...

  If you were my son I would be so proud of you!
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  97

  My wife’s and I meeting with two elders. Their true colors shine through…

  by Winston Smith :>D in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i thought id give you an update re whats going on.

  my qing the wts of recent has been very hard on my wife.

  if i could, i would change my timing of doing so, but its just the way it has happened.

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  core

  Winston
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  68

  Who's To Blame For The Child Abuse Problem?

  by Englishman in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  just trying to get my head around this one.

  with the jailing last week of a london dub paedophile, i was wondering: .

  is it the religion itself that gives these perverts the feeling that they are invincible and immune from punishment when they commit these acts?

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  core

  The best way to identify molesters will always be to watch the actions of the children. If you see an outgoing child suddenly become very withdrawn, it should be a red flag. Night terrors, inappropriate aggression, a child who sexually precocious, all are strong indicators something is wrong.

  odrade

  Excellent point which would make excellent material for the WT to expand on and publish so abuse can be dealt with

  The only problem is that is this catches abuse as it happens (and yes can stop it then) but what I would like to know is how we couls stop abuse starting

  What I am sure we all want is prevention not detection. Any ideas anyone?
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  68

  Who's To Blame For The Child Abuse Problem?

  by Englishman in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  just trying to get my head around this one.

  with the jailing last week of a london dub paedophile, i was wondering: .

  is it the religion itself that gives these perverts the feeling that they are invincible and immune from punishment when they commit these acts?

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  core

  who's to blame for the CHild Abuse Problem?

  Addressing the specific question of blame requires us to ascertain which problem or element of the problem

  The existence of child abusers ? Not one that even I can lay at the WT doors.

  The fact that everything being equal JWS must have some child abuser members ? Again not in itself a WT FAULT

  Or the way in which the WT supports/fails to support the victim ? Now on this one I can lay some blame at the WT doors - not because of the 2 witness rule but the general desire to cover over failings as they may reflect on "God's Organisation" as if hiding the error removes it. Affording secrecy to offenders cannot but add to the problem - also, forcing young children to 'confront' abusers - will that help the problem ?

  Looking at this personally I think that all elders are responsible (as was I when actually an elder) for not reporting all abuse, within the family or wherever - to the proper authorities (social services) to have children protected regardless of the "negative" publicity. Actually if the WT did this they would have less "negative" publicity as child protectioin laws would prevent any publicity initially and the blizzard of current bad publicity would not be happening (in many cases) if the childrens protection had had first place in everyones mind years ago. (Most of the current publicity relates to cases in which abused people have now attained adulthood and chosen to forgo confidentiality to pursue claims etc)

  Additionally I regularly read on this site distressing stories of how youngsters received no help or little in the way of encouragement when they bravely made known abuse. Such neglect of little ones is itself a real problem for which the WT stands condemend - but not only as an "organisation" - it takes people to make an organisation and generally those people have turned away from the little one, either from embarrasment or other reasons. As one sister said to me years ago about a reported (in the press - not gossip in the cong) case of child abuse by a "brother" ..."Oh no it must not be true...not in the organisation" ..such blind incredulity creates the perfect environment for a paedophile.
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  68

  Who's To Blame For The Child Abuse Problem?

  by Englishman in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  just trying to get my head around this one.

  with the jailing last week of a london dub paedophile, i was wondering: .

  is it the religion itself that gives these perverts the feeling that they are invincible and immune from punishment when they commit these acts?

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  core

  then put a bullet in his lousy skull and be done with him (I feel that way about all pedophiles...they don't get a second chance under the Donkey justice system since they have destroyed the life of a child).

  Donkey - yes I am with you on that . my earlier comments re paedophiles refusing to accept their behaviour, not seeing themselves as guilty etc, do not change the penalty they deserve. You say they have destroyed the life of a child. I know from experience how true that is ..a robbery can be forgotten, goods replace, one victim said to me that she would have preferred to be murdered as when you are dead you cannot suffer the emotional traumas that are with victims always. No penalty is sufficient. As regards the WT which so often turns the victim into the victimised by its lunatic policies re confidentiality etc - those responsible - from the top down to all elders - stand condemned before God for their part or simple acceptance of this situation. As a former elder I am ashamed that I supported the organisation which now puts abusers rights above justice and the rights of the abused. Englishman started this topic re a man gaoled for 12 years (I think it was 12) - yet the British justice system will see him out in 5 - 6 years - social services will rehouse him and support him. WHat of the victim (or victims - I do not have any details to hand) Who will support them - they will not "get out" in 5-6 years - they are scarred for life.

  Donkey you have said it all - put them down as you would a mad dog
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  68

  Who's To Blame For The Child Abuse Problem?

  by Englishman in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  just trying to get my head around this one.

  with the jailing last week of a london dub paedophile, i was wondering: .

  is it the religion itself that gives these perverts the feeling that they are invincible and immune from punishment when they commit these acts?

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  core

  waiting

  Thanks for your comments - I appreciate what you say and can agree with your viewpoint about those who see control and dominance as part of their personality. I suppose the divide is between abusers outside a family circle and those (as in your case) within it.

  I can only hope that for you the nightmare is starting to fade .............but my own experience tells me that it never can fade. So sorry that there are no words I can use to help put things right for you.
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  68

  Who's To Blame For The Child Abuse Problem?

  by Englishman in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  just trying to get my head around this one.

  with the jailing last week of a london dub paedophile, i was wondering: .

  is it the religion itself that gives these perverts the feeling that they are invincible and immune from punishment when they commit these acts?

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  core

  But a man who has his penis inserted in a vagina, rectum, mouth, knows where his penis is.....and it's not innocent play

  ABsolutely correct. Yet you are thinking as I do as a normal decent person who is repelled by the concept of abuse of children and other vulnerable ones. Paedophiles do not think like normal decent people and can rationalise their actions. This is one reason they are so dangerous - it is (in my view) impossible for a paedophile to reform or change.

  However - from my experience and reading on this I would still say that the paedophile has turned his perversion into a "game" in as much as he can explaint it away to the victim as such - one which disgust most of us, but to the perpetrator he is calculating and prepared to move very slowly and steadily gaining (misusing) the childs trust or building fear of consequence ......"if anyone finds out about our little game........."

  Yes its not innocent play but to the paedophile who can rationalise away his behaviour he cannot see himself as an abuser.

  Yes some carry the abuse to different degrees for their own lewd intent but all are able to face the world, the victims, the victims parents, brothers in the congs ets with no measure of shame, remorse or embarrasment. It is this that makes them different from mere criminals. They cannot repent or change and feel none of the revulsion we all share at their activities.
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  68

  Who's To Blame For The Child Abuse Problem?

  by Englishman in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  just trying to get my head around this one.

  with the jailing last week of a london dub paedophile, i was wondering: .

  is it the religion itself that gives these perverts the feeling that they are invincible and immune from punishment when they commit these acts?

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  core

  common sense reasoning just doesn't come into it when perversions are involved.

  ..wise words indeed......a paedophile is in most cases the last person you would expect - a kind, considerate and loyal person in all things..... I think that the % of such in the WT is not much different from the worlds average...however the conditions that exist are IDEAL for the cunning and calculating (over many years) paedophile who worms his way into situations that allow him to have trusted access to vulnerable ones. Incidentally - not all paedophiles are the comic book character of a dirty old man in a mac - many are married men with children who give no impression that they are a threat - obvious really because who would let a dirty old man in a mac near their children ? - no, such ones appear 'normal' decent' 'trustworthy' & use and abuse the special trust that the brotherhood provides which is why they should be removed from congregations when discovered - not protected and given confidentiality to continue with someone else as a victim.
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  68

  Who's To Blame For The Child Abuse Problem?

  by Englishman in

  1. watchtower
  2. child-abuse

  just trying to get my head around this one.

  with the jailing last week of a london dub paedophile, i was wondering: .

  is it the religion itself that gives these perverts the feeling that they are invincible and immune from punishment when they commit these acts?

  1. 
  2. 
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  core

  I can't work something out though. Take, for an example, a dub who spends time in the ministry, going to meetings, giving talks etc. He's doing the whole bit. However, he's also a child molestor. Are we to assume that he's doing all the witness stuff purely to gain access to children? He surely can't actually believe in anything that witnesses teach because he'd also have to believe that he's fated to die at armageddon for his crimes against children. What I am saying is that it can't be possible for a dub molestor to actually believe anything the witnesses teach.

  Can it?

  Englishman

  Paedophiles are able to convince THEMSELVES that they are not doing any wrong so in Dub land they CAN have the active part and feel they will 'get life everlasting in a paradise'

  Paedophiles are criminals but totally different to any hypocritical brother who has defrauded or stolen property and who is leading two lives.

  Paedophiles are so convincing that over time they groom innocent victims by persuasive talk - they are also persuading themselves that they are not wrongdoers. Significant psychological evidence is available to expose the mindset of such people. Sadly I have had judicial experience dealing with paedophilia (I have too much respect for the victims to give specific details) and I can say with confidence that the perpetrators are shocked and affronted when accused of the crime - they are convinced that they are involved in some childish and innocent play. They do not think and act like any normal person who would be repulsed by such conduct - once a paedophile always a paedophile a senior brother once remarked to me. They are sick in their minds and so can lead a life in the truth and not be convicted by their own conscience.

  The problem with the WT and recent attempts at dealing with the problem is rooted in the fact that paedophiles do not, of a sudden impulse, grab little children or do some indecent act on the spur of the moment. The slow grooming (made easier by the "spritual paradise" =- all brothers are trustworthy - all in the world are evil) has not been addressed and the latest publication is naive in the way it deals with the situation. When evidence exists of a "brother" being a danger to little ones is available elders should alert should alert all parents. Publications need to address the SIGNS of a paedophile, how and why grooming occurs, and how parents can protect children from such unscrupulous people.
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  11

  Making a Will.....

  by razorMind in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  does anyone have any info on how to go about doing this?

  i don't own a home or anything much, nor any type of huge estate with precious valuables.

  i have no idea of the cost or the process.

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  core

  The key point here is the care of children in the case of your death.

  UK law allows a parent to state in a Will that they

  "I appoint XXX as sole (or joint with YYY) guardian of my child / children (names) until he she or they attain the age of 18 years" This provision is applicable to adopted children in addition to childen of a marriage/relationship.

  Courts are bound to respect this provided the will is properly witnessed etc The appointed guardian(s) must be over the age of majority and capable/competent for the role In non-UK regions local guardianship law applies - however a will clause that XXX be appointed guardian in case of your death is generally held as strong reason to appoint that person in most of the US.

  Without any such clause imn a Will in the UK the social services department locally can arrange for care / guardianship - often at variance to what you would have wanted - make a Will - include a Guardianship clause - have it signed and witnessed and properly stored