Blondie: The WTS has always wanted uniformity when it comes to the signs
That could be shortened to just read: The WTS has always wanted uniformity.
There was some bit in the Walsh Trial transcript about that too.
Oubliette
JoinedPosts by Oubliette
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37
To Blue Dot or Not to Blue Dot. That is the question ....
by Oubliette inso i've been noticing recently that some khs in the area where i live (socal) are putting up the jw.org little blue dot, but others are not.
i would think this would be a mandatory directive from hq.
does anyone here have any intel on the matter?.
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Oubliette
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GB says, "Our way of worship will soon be altered."
by Separation of Powers inmy mom called me yesterday to ask how i was doing.
i hadn't seen her in a while, so it was nice to hear her voice.
we went through the motions of jw small talk and then she started telling me about her co visit from last week.
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Oubliette
By the way, I no longer refer to God by the antiquated, out-dated term "Jehovah." I now simply call him "J".
It's very streamlined and cool, very modern and hip.
I got the idea from the whole JW.ORG thing. Hey, it's the fucking 21st Century. Get the clue. Go big or go home!
J and I, we're very close. J is my homey. We're tight like that.
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92
GB says, "Our way of worship will soon be altered."
by Separation of Powers inmy mom called me yesterday to ask how i was doing.
i hadn't seen her in a while, so it was nice to hear her voice.
we went through the motions of jw small talk and then she started telling me about her co visit from last week.
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Oubliette
"Our way of worship will soon be altered."
You mean more than it already has?
This religion is pretty unrecognizable from the one I joined in the early '80s!
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39
received revealing "witness" in parking lot
by Magnum ina few weeks ago i was working out of my home state and was in a grocery store parking lot when i received my first jw witness since leaving jwdom.
a youngish-looking lady was sitting in an suv parked next to my car and i was about to get in my car to leave.
she opened the door and asked whether she could give me something to read (had a tract in her hand)..
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Oubliette
New Day: what has shaken me to the core is the abysmal "generation" teaching with zero scriptural support, and the exhortation to blindly follow the slave, again with no backup.
What? You mean the use of the word "evidently" is not sufficient to convince you of the veracity of this teaching?
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39
received revealing "witness" in parking lot
by Magnum ina few weeks ago i was working out of my home state and was in a grocery store parking lot when i received my first jw witness since leaving jwdom.
a youngish-looking lady was sitting in an suv parked next to my car and i was about to get in my car to leave.
she opened the door and asked whether she could give me something to read (had a tract in her hand)..
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Oubliette
Magnum: I kind of like the fact that he wasn't a flashy dresser and didn't seem to want as much attention as the GB members do today.
You mean this:
Definitely a Glamour Fashion Don't!
In contrast to this:
Little Stevie Lett likes his little pinky ring!
Or this:
And o'l ToMo likes his Purple Ties!
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37
To Blue Dot or Not to Blue Dot. That is the question ....
by Oubliette inso i've been noticing recently that some khs in the area where i live (socal) are putting up the jw.org little blue dot, but others are not.
i would think this would be a mandatory directive from hq.
does anyone here have any intel on the matter?.
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30
The Opal Ring: a story based on the true life of Jehovah's Witnesses
by Julia Orwell init's finally finished!
it's a fictional story about an old jw.
it is very long, about 7000 words.. the opal ring.
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Oubliette
Julia,
I had another thought: I was an elder in the US for over 20 years and I never once heard another elder refer to anything as "the ‘apostasy’ question."
I heard it asked (and may have even asked it of other), but no one here ever used that term.
Unless it's different where you are (New Zealand? Australia?), you may just want to have the antagonist, Brother Wanis, ask the question and then have Alfred respond indignantly, "How dare you question my loyalty after all my years of faithful service to Jehovah ..... "
Oubliette
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39
received revealing "witness" in parking lot
by Magnum ina few weeks ago i was working out of my home state and was in a grocery store parking lot when i received my first jw witness since leaving jwdom.
a youngish-looking lady was sitting in an suv parked next to my car and i was about to get in my car to leave.
she opened the door and asked whether she could give me something to read (had a tract in her hand)..
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Oubliette
Fred Franz was a nut, but at least his ideas were interesting and had a creative shred of plausibility.
The modern GB's ideas such as the "overlapping generation" are just silly nonsense. How can you have an intelligent, meaningful conversation about goofy ideas that are incoherent? You can't.
Let's just do the happy dance and pretend we have "the Truth!"
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39
received revealing "witness" in parking lot
by Magnum ina few weeks ago i was working out of my home state and was in a grocery store parking lot when i received my first jw witness since leaving jwdom.
a youngish-looking lady was sitting in an suv parked next to my car and i was about to get in my car to leave.
she opened the door and asked whether she could give me something to read (had a tract in her hand)..
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Oubliette
I believe that in a few more years even GB members won’t be familiar with the old JWdom. JWdom is in a transitional phase in that area, also. I bet Mark Sanderson knows less actual JW history than a lot of us do. The current GB members (GB 2.0) know less about old JWdom than GB 1.0, and GB 3.0 will know very little.
I suspect this is already the case. How would Sanderson know all about the looney ideas of Russell, Rutherford or Fred Franz?
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30
The Opal Ring: a story based on the true life of Jehovah's Witnesses
by Julia Orwell init's finally finished!
it's a fictional story about an old jw.
it is very long, about 7000 words.. the opal ring.
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Oubliette
Julia aka Sheree Stokell,
Thanks for sharing. You obviously put a lot of work into this story. I'm sure it was both painful and healing at the same time.
You had some nice moments of great prose. One of my favorites was this line:
His feelings crushed in upon themselves and lay in a wreck like a collapsed house of cards.
I also appreciated Alfred's musing about "how Brother Morris was so familiar with what homosexuals liked."
Nice touch.
The twist about the opal stone was an excellent piece of story-telling. The sad ending is of course all too true for so many ex-JWs.
The overall story arc is good. That being said, and this is just my opinion so take it for what it's worth, I found a lot of your narrative to be too on the nose. I appreciate more subtlety in fiction. You don't have to explain everything. Certainly, any ex-JW or anyone that wishes-they-were-an-exJW will get your points without a lot of frankly unnecessary explanation.
Are you familiar with the axiom of "show me, don't tell me" in reference to writing fiction? The most effective writers generally do much less explaining and let the reader get from the story what they get from the story. Give it some thought. I think a lot of your paragraphs can be trimmed down and the end result would be a lot more powerful.
Also, some of your sentences are kind of convoluted and hard to understand. Consider cutting some of the longer ones down.
For example, this sentence:
Alfred’s heart now had a great big empty place where Barbara once lived as part of him.
This is a really good sentence that would be stronger without the unnecessary tag at the end:
Alfred’s heart now had a great big empty place where Barbara had lived
as part of him.After describing their loveless relationship of friendly convenience, you wrote:
Their religion forbade divorce except for when one spouse cheated, which was something neither Barbara or Alfred would consider due to their good standing in the congregation and fear of reprisal.
Any JW or ex-JW knows all of this. You really don't need to explain. It seems heavy-handed and preachy.
I do like how you handle your exchanges of dialogue. I think overall you use dialogue effectively to move the story along, especially during the "apostasy trial." Still, you do (what I think is) a lot of unnecessary explaining. Just tell the story. You shouldn't also explain what everything means as if we don't know. We do know. Frankly, anyone that wouldn't understand the points you are making wouldn't ever read this story any ways. Consider your audience.
Here are a few resources you might find helpful in tightening up what I think could prove to be a very powerful story.
- The Art of the Short Story - Dana Gioia & Gwynn
- Creating Short Fiction - Damon Knight
- Kurt Vonnegut’s 8 Rules For Writing Fiction
- The 50 Best Short Stories of All Time
I know how it can be to share your creative works with strangers. It's a vulnerable thing to do. I applaud you for that.
Please take my suggestions in the spirit in which they are intended, to help you become a better writer.
And keep in mind that everything I have written is just my opinion!
Keep writing. I look forward to reading more of your work.
Oubliette
BTW, I love the title!
