Dear Hurting.. your story is not the slightest bit boring but actually very moving. I'm very saddened to hear stories like this of children not being accepted and loved for just being.
Learning to love yourself properly after the organisation has basically taught you to feel and treated you like you are useless unworthy trash is not easy but very very doable and possible. The only hard part is getting their judgmental crap out of your mind and being which takes a fare bit of conscious work.
This I know because I have had to do it myself. Just go day by day.. even hour by hour.. or even thought by thought. You are valuable and precious and amazing and worthy of love and don't ever let anyone try to show you otherwise
The place you are leaving is not and never was real.. the friendships and relationships were all fake and conditional. As soon as you get that into your head it becomes so much easier to let it all go and realise you have actually lost nothing.
You will find tremendous support and resources here. Be discerning and take what you need.. and leave the rest.