Posts by TheLonelyOne

15

Is my purpose to help, fail and suffer?

by TheLonelyOne in

hi folks im coming from far for many, for some maybe bit near.

life has been thought.

even though i'm only 27 pain and problems has been around since my first days.

TheLonelyOne

@desirouschange portugal/poland. Everything can be done with faith and will and im working on it.

15

Is my purpose to help, fail and suffer?

by TheLonelyOne in

hi folks im coming from far for many, for some maybe bit near.

life has been thought.

even though i'm only 27 pain and problems has been around since my first days.

It's our duty to help others. We are like doctors on ER. It's just so not trendy nowadays. Let it go - is suppose to protect us. Someone is in pain, danger, need, can die? Let it go. I dont know where we as humans aee really going with that. I often saw lack of understanding why do I want to help someone. Weird and artifical, tryhard psychological explanations instead of acknowledging that compassion among other things is what makes us humans not animals. Im not gonna fall under letting go. I like animals but im human.

as forvspiritual healing its hard to find anything here. Catholic church isvalmost exclusive here. I believe in self healing. Homeopathy was proven to work this way. Believing is everything. Ask and they will give. We all have part of God in ourselves. This part can do a lot. I will give a try those books once I will find time. It was pleasure to meet a kimd soul emilynghiem. Big thank You.

15

Is my purpose to help, fail and suffer?

by TheLonelyOne in

hi folks im coming from far for many, for some maybe bit near.

life has been thought.

even though i'm only 27 pain and problems has been around since my first days.

TheLonelyOne

Hi folks Im coming from far for many, for some maybe bit near. Life has been thought. Even though I'm only 27 pain and problems has been around since my first days. I was searching God for years. In hell, around, in heaven. Eventually fell apart and neurosis called my life home. Drinking became the only solution. With lack of understanding what is going with me even from doctors. This failed. Ended on the detox. Terrified that night and praying. This felt like a sign. Praying heals why are you looking for God somewhere else. Many years have passed since that day. Many terrible things happened. Ended up closed in my own virtual world. Current society is sick and I don't even regret. After years I've met a guy in a game full of hate.I was always against relationships on distance but in the current sick world is easier to move to other country and meeting First connected soul since ever finally happened. I'm a bit harsh looking, troll like person. Still kind and helpful to others. After a month he had suicidal attempt because of his ex girlfriend. I failed. Halfly. He didnt get enough drugs. Called police but as we live in different countries they didn't really do anything. We had happy months after that with endless hours on Skype, flourished yet with lack of plans. Eventually his diabetes picked on hi is eyes. He could lose his sight and fell apart and dumped me. Another suicidal thoughts, police and embassy with their suggestion. Sleepless nights, almost mental illness. Seeing someone in pain turning away while you're miles away and can't stop him hurts. Hurted more then anything in my life. He didn't make it. Even police came there to ask questions...few days later. Months passed and knowing he is alive was keeping me alive. Didn't even ask God for more. We even had almost come back, then he decided to move out with someone else only to come back recently. Bankrupt, tired and without perspectives. I begged God to change his parents that mix him with mud on a daily basis. It worked but stopped. They were all Jehovah's Witnesses. Quit few years ago. He can't find job, they took his computer and all what's left is a dog and TV. And of course parents that say he should never been born. I wouldn't care if I was him but tuned out of ideas how to teach him to do it. Reunite fails, boredom and pessimism kills the rest. I finally feel like going to job and renting the flat because it has purpose other then making myself happy. But I feel that this time even if I won't fail his lack of will to live might succeed. What would You do?