Posts by cookiemaster

49

How to avoid getting disfellowshipped for having a wordly girlfriend?

by cookiemaster in

hey guys, i've been pimo going on full inactive for a very long time, 5+ years.

pretty happy with the current situation.

over the years, i've gotten lots of grief from the local elders and cos for my inactivity, attending wordly public events and social media posts.

cookiemaster

This is golden information Atlantis! Thanks!

49

How to avoid getting disfellowshipped for having a wordly girlfriend?

by cookiemaster in

hey guys, i've been pimo going on full inactive for a very long time, 5+ years.

pretty happy with the current situation.

over the years, i've gotten lots of grief from the local elders and cos for my inactivity, attending wordly public events and social media posts.

cookiemaster

Thanks Atlantis, this is exactly what I wanted to know. How about If the disorderly one is not moved to change?

49

How to avoid getting disfellowshipped for having a wordly girlfriend?

by cookiemaster in

hey guys, i've been pimo going on full inactive for a very long time, 5+ years.

pretty happy with the current situation.

over the years, i've gotten lots of grief from the local elders and cos for my inactivity, attending wordly public events and social media posts.

Thank you Listerner and Giordano for your wonderful advice! It sounds like a good course of action. I am used to being highly disciplined and if they don't outright disfellowship me, my parents won't be too concerned by the situation, I hope. I also want to make sure that my special lady is in no way made uncomfortable by my connection to JWs or feel pressured to participate in anything religious. Oh boy, I can already imagine what a minefield Christmas will be for me, fun times!

49

How to avoid getting disfellowshipped for having a wordly girlfriend?

by cookiemaster in

hey guys, i've been pimo going on full inactive for a very long time, 5+ years.

pretty happy with the current situation.

over the years, i've gotten lots of grief from the local elders and cos for my inactivity, attending wordly public events and social media posts.

cookiemaster

FedUpJW LOL, that's an amusing description. It's very good advice. I have some experience doing that, with both police and elders, so it should be fine in that regard. However, we like to go out in town. Public parks, town fairs, restaurants, etc. I'm well known in town, the elders know my car, we can't exactly hide. Of course, we can behave properly, no making out in public and such, but they will realize we are together.

What if I ask my girlfriend to pretend she's interested in studying? Have her come to KH with me?

49

How to avoid getting disfellowshipped for having a wordly girlfriend?

by cookiemaster in

hey guys, i've been pimo going on full inactive for a very long time, 5+ years.

pretty happy with the current situation.

over the years, i've gotten lots of grief from the local elders and cos for my inactivity, attending wordly public events and social media posts.

cookiemaster

Listener, thanks for the advice. I was under the impression that unless they believe you had sex outside of marriage or somehow behaved inappropriately, you can't be disfellowshipped for having a relationship with a non-JW. I knew a couple once made up of a JW woman and a man who was studying and became an unbaptized published. They got married and while many where disgruntled about it, they didn't receive any punishment for it.

What I'm saying is that I'm looking for a technicality that would not allow me to disfellowship me without them knowing for certain I did anything against their rules. Surely, holding hands in public with a wordly person is not a sin. That would be the max extent they would see us do. I would never meet with them but they can DF in absentia.

49

How to avoid getting disfellowshipped for having a wordly girlfriend?

by cookiemaster in

hey guys, i've been pimo going on full inactive for a very long time, 5+ years.

pretty happy with the current situation.

over the years, i've gotten lots of grief from the local elders and cos for my inactivity, attending wordly public events and social media posts.

cookiemaster

Cha Ching thanks for the reply. Not really possible to lose them in that way in my case since we all live together on the family farm that spans thousands of acres. I have my own house but it's nearby on the same land and we work together on the farm daily. They depend on me managing the farm both in daily operations, financially and in other regards. All the family properties are legally tied to a company that I partly own. Our extended family is tied to this company as well and practically owns half the town, all my aunts/uncles and cousins living in the neighborhood. They're not JWs except one and outside business relations, we are very distant to each other.

They can't kick me out and they won't move away either. Like it or not, they're stuck with me and will still have to interact with me daily. We have a good relationship even though they know I never study or participate in any JW activities. However, I worry about our relationship becoming distant, them feeling shamed by the local JW community if I were disfellowshipped, etc. They also had conflicts with the local elders and wouldn't care if they told them to shun me.

What I would like is to avoid getting officially disfellowshipped as that would bring them the most grief, and me too.

49

How to avoid getting disfellowshipped for having a wordly girlfriend?

by cookiemaster in

hey guys, i've been pimo going on full inactive for a very long time, 5+ years.

pretty happy with the current situation.

over the years, i've gotten lots of grief from the local elders and cos for my inactivity, attending wordly public events and social media posts.

cookiemaster

Hey guys,

I've been PIMO going on full inactive for a very long time, 5+ years. Pretty happy with the current situation. Over the years, I've gotten lots of grief from the local elders and COs for my inactivity, attending wordly public events and social media posts. So far I've been able to avoid disfellowshipping by not saying much and denying what was plausibly deniable. I've recently met an amazing wordly girl and I'm interested in pursuing a serious relationship with her, my first long-term relationship with a wordly girl. I would like to know if there's any way to not get disfellowshipped for this. Any advice on how to approach this from a doctrinal standpoint? Sort of, to fight with their own arguments.

We're too early in the relationship to live together, but the local JWs will certainly see us on the street holding hands, attending events together, etc. Hell, I might even bring her to the KH to keep me company at the memorial (not for indoctrination, she's already redpilled on JWs). The only reason I care is not to totally ruin my relationship with my parents, would like to still have a relationship with them in the future, have them attend my wedding, meet their grandchildren, etc.

How would you advise doing this? Especially in the context of local elders already being quite hostile towards me. Any advice would be appreciated, especially about doing this without breaking any JW rules.

17

The beauty in being mortal

by HiddenPimo in

i am only speaking from my personal point of view and not to encroach on anyone else's belief system:.

one of the main points of attraction to the jw life was the 'panda paradise', once i woke up, i began to think about the future and it made me realize that jw's have little or no regard for life and the way they treat others even in those who are jw's.. e.g.

no blood, shunning, theocratic warfare, no real charity work for those in need, etc.... if we live forever on earth we would get bored, we would take relationships for granted and possible want to actually die.. what makes anything valuable is the not the beauty of it but the rarity of it or the limited amount of it.. time is not only limited but all of our hourglasses are opaque leaving the amount of sand remaining a guess at best, and this is what moves us to appreciate life and ever little thing it gives us.. there is a beautiful and poignant song by jason isbell 'if we were vampires' and it perfectly describes the beauty one can find in ones mortality and how it moves us to love & care deeper than if we were immortal.. the 2nd verse goes .

cookiemaster

I very strongly disagree. Firstly because survival is one of the most primal instincts found in all living things, next to reproduction. I see no reason why any person living in a healthy young human body would decide to die, unless clinically depressed (which wouldn't be the case in a healthy body). Secondly, boredom is for the unimaginative. We know almost nothing of our universe. We have explored only a very tiny fraction of our universe. We still have so much to learn. If we lived millennia, we could actually become a space-faring species.

Moreover, I read books, watch movies and tv shows almost every single day and in 26 years of life I have no been able to get boredom. Every year I discover something amazing, a TV show, a book, that encompasses an entire philosophy and a bit of meditation to understand. Especially the older stuff that wasn't so commercially focused, there's so much to unpack in that, still so much to experience and discover.

Thirdly, or it should've been firstly, I don't want my loved ones to ever suffer and die, although most likely they will. I will do everything in my power (through technology) to prevent that. When you hold you small child in your arms and you understand what an absolute treasure life is, I don't conceive willingly allowing that magic living being to die.

Death is for the majority of people extremely ugly. After 60, your body quickly deteriorates in horrible ways. Some people forget who they are, some spend the next decade immobilized and shitting their pants. Biological immortality would fix all that since it can only be achieved through rejuvenation. Very few lucky old people die at 90 in their sleep. Most suffer and start rotting (metaphorically) while still being alive.

Finally, I think this is an unhealthy attitude. Just like that of rich people that do extreme things because they are bored with life. If you found purpose in your life, something meaningful, helping your family, your community, your nation, anything greater than yourself, then you will always have something to do. Personally, there's so much I would do. I have innovative technologies in my head that I've never been able to materialize because I lack the money. I could help stray animals, people in my community and ensure a safe and prosperous future for my family. I could create a space empire, if you want to think outside the box. Anything is possible, but you must imagine that thing and try to make it a reality.

13

The Memorial was Useless

by cookiemaster in

so i just went to the kh here in romania yesterday, with my parents.

haven't been since the memorial.

during the weeks preceding the memorial, they went crazy with the invitations and 'preaching' work, to the point that they'd invite anyone and their grandmother.

cookiemaster

Thanks for your replies Blondie and stillin. That's definitely true. Hype leads to crash and our KH can definitely accommodate more people. I like seeing it empty and airy, but there's something really pathetic seeing it empty for all that memorial hype.

13

The Memorial was Useless

by cookiemaster in

so i just went to the kh here in romania yesterday, with my parents.

haven't been since the memorial.

during the weeks preceding the memorial, they went crazy with the invitations and 'preaching' work, to the point that they'd invite anyone and their grandmother.

cookiemaster

So I just went to the KH here in Romania yesterday, with my parents. Haven't been since the memorial. During the weeks preceding the memorial, they went crazy with the invitations and 'preaching' work, to the point that they'd invite anyone and their grandmother. There were a lot of people at the memorial, so many that there were barely enough seats. Lots of so called submarine witnesses too, the kind that only show up once a year or on special occasions but still consider themselves JWs. Anyway, what shocked me was that yesterday the hall was almost empty. From the 100+ that were at the memorial, NONE of the people invited that day were at the KH for the regular public speech and Watchtower study.

In fact, many of the baptized members of the congregation were missing as well. There were barely 20 people there. From what I gather, this happens every year. At this point I don't see why they get excited to give out the invitations. Clearly, they aren't achieving anything with the invitations. It seems to me that, at least here locally, the memorial is completely useless at attracting new membership and despite all the yearly hype, it never achieves anything in terms of new membership. I wonder if other members of this forum have had similar experiences.