Posts by BackseatDevil

52

A Cry for Help

by Thoughtless in

i have been lurking here for months now, and i just decided to post here and actually interact with this community.

i have a very specific/unordinary life, so i will not divulge too much information to protect my privacy.

i am a baptized publisher who is under the age of 25 who attends college, and i do have responsiblities within the congregation.

The world, is so full of color... and especially at your age it's waiting for you to reach out with fresh hands and fingerpaint whatever the f you want to paint. And that is kind of the beauty of being free of the JW's, you get to create the world YOU want that works for YOU. And when you are the best you that you can be... you then start adding positively to the world around you, making the world a better place. Getting there is going to be dirty and hard, it's going to suck, but it's REAL and it's ALIVE, and it's beautiful.

You may be independent, distant from your family... they don't know you (or the "essence" of you as you put it). And they're not going to. Or they might, but it will be with Jehovah-colored glasses. You... as independent as you are... seem like you are biting at the bit to just do everything you've ever seen in the movies... lol. I may be reading that wrong, but it's okay if you are. I get it.

Good people in your life work as a safety net ONLY. Not human versions of Post-It notes sccribbled with affirmations. You don't need that. That's clutter. You don't want clutter, you want freedom. A saftey net is who you call when you get kicked out of the house and you need a couch to sleep on, or who will drive you home when you've had too much to drink. They are the ones that stand behind you after a harsh break up or stand beside you when you bury a loved one. It's not something used often, but none of that is given in any reality with the JWs because their friendships come with boundaries and limitations, both in life experience and in capacity to digest information. For such, nobody well ever see the real you... you're bigger then what their scope allows for them to see. You already know this, which is why it's interesting to read this from my end.

You know what you want. You know how it's going to better your life and yourself as a human being. You think things through REALLY well. And you know you're going to be a better person for it. So... get to it already. :-)

(and that's about as much of a f'n pep talk as you'll ever get out of me... lol)

52

A Cry for Help

by Thoughtless in

i have been lurking here for months now, and i just decided to post here and actually interact with this community.

i have a very specific/unordinary life, so i will not divulge too much information to protect my privacy.

i am a baptized publisher who is under the age of 25 who attends college, and i do have responsiblities within the congregation.

BackseatDevil

I agree with the above article. I will also add somthing that I didn't have, but could have used.

The mentality of JWs is surrounded by the idea that the intertwined network of people provide a safety net for all of your problems. One of the hardest challenges to leaving is not having that safety net around you, especially when it comes to family. So, I would add to the above, that while you're going to school, try to find people who you can be close to and trust, those that will be part of your new network of friends who can eventually (down the road) be a reliable safety net to you once you establish exactly who you are.

Other than that, we are all here for you, so if you have any specific questions or problems... that is what we're here for. ask away. :-)

27

will a judicial comittee allow you to face your accusers

by label licker in

jw
friends

we were told today, yes!

our accusers will be there.

is it true?

BackseatDevil

A part of me will be relieved in one way to be rid of the gossip and always looking over my shoulders as well as no more nightmares.

Not "part" of you... ALL of you. And it is so refreshing to just... BREATHE. You inhale the life of the world around you with pure lungs and grasp it with honest skin. It's good to be rid of them.

For all you faders out there, your turn is coming. Society will eventually catch up to you if they know where you live and your not going to your meetings. They don't let you just walk away.

Which is why I went out in a blaze of f'n glory and wrote the whole thing down (backseatdevil.com) and never stepped foot in a kingdom hall again. AND the bastards STILL came after me recently. I'm gay, I drink, I smoke... I mean really, there are only SO many sins I'm willing to give up. But NONE of them for, as you put it, an " org that's full of lies".

Stay strong. MUCH LOVE. And thank you for keeping us posted. Please know your are not taken for granted either. ((HUG))

27

will a judicial comittee allow you to face your accusers

by label licker in

jw
friends

we were told today, yes!

our accusers will be there.

is it true?

BackseatDevil

To be brutally honest, there is nothing to be gained from any of this. JC's are about attitude and "humility", they are not about facts and evidence. They are wanting a good, obedient, Jehovah's Witness "sheep"... and you are worried about fairness and justice. The two do not mix. So, as a whole, nothing good will come from this except your freedom from the religion and the control they have over your life to absorb your precious time... like the time spent on this issue.

18

Relief Work and $$$

by allyouneedislove in

was just talking to a jw who just got back from oklahoma doing relief work for jws who had their homes damaged.

i didn't know this, but he said that the process goes like this.

the homeowner usually has a payout from the insurance company in hand.

BackseatDevil

@Julia Orwell You are correct, but that is not just in impoverished areas. For Assembly Hall builds where millions of dollars are needed, the Society will do some sort of dollar-for-dollar loan program. I remember for our local Assembly Hall, we kept getting announcements at the congregation level that we needed at least $3 million before the Society would grant permission for building to start on the (at the time) projected $5-7million dollar building. Some of the outlying congregations complained since there was no guarantee they would even use the Assembly Hall due to the distance from it, and yet they were still asked to donate. After building was completed (at a cost of $12-14 million dollars) then talk goes to making sure everything is balanced out. I cannot verify, but I think I remember it took less than a year or so, and that building was paid for.

18

Relief Work and $$$

by allyouneedislove in

was just talking to a jw who just got back from oklahoma doing relief work for jws who had their homes damaged.

i didn't know this, but he said that the process goes like this.

the homeowner usually has a payout from the insurance company in hand.

BackseatDevil

The "worldly" building company is (at least, should be) a licensed, insured contractor. They will pull the required permits, pass the inspections, and there is somebody to stand behind the work.

If a volunteer gets hurt on the job, who is responsible? If there is no insured contractor involved, I doubt there would be workman's compensation coverage.

You are absolutely correct. And that is the point. Now, with Kingdom Halls, that's a different matter. No one person owns a Kingdom Hall, the Kingdom Hall will not sue members of the congregation for faulty repair work. But for individual brothers, that is not the case, EXCEPT in places where people have nothing but hollow cinderblock walls and sheets of tin for a roof... THEN there is AMAZING reconstruction work being done, in record time.

18

Relief Work and $$$

by allyouneedislove in

was just talking to a jw who just got back from oklahoma doing relief work for jws who had their homes damaged.

i didn't know this, but he said that the process goes like this.

the homeowner usually has a payout from the insurance company in hand.

BackseatDevil

I spent 3 months in St Thomas after Hurricane Marylan (?) and did some relief work in Gulf Coast. Yes, that's kind of how it works. There are also some variations. Sometimes FEMA is involved... so there isn't a lot of exchange of money, just the free labor. And in the case of St. Thomas and Aruba where nobody had insurance or a house sturdy enough to sustain a hurricane, the brothers took up a collection to purchase supplies - the 'word goes out' and donations are collected from everywhere (the entire Houston area for example), and that is how materials are funded. Also, we had to pay for our own plane tickets. HOWEVER, the shitty bunks under tarps and plywood restroom facilities were kick started initially with money from the WTS, and then funded entirely by the local brothers... the ones that just went through a god damn hurricane.

62

My mother continues with these creepy letters

by sosoconfused in

as i continue to post these letters just to let people see what they can expect through a fade, i hope they are not annoying anyone.. if so please let me know and i will no longer post them.

however i think these letters help you to see how cultish and crazy this religion causes people to become:.

evening <name removed>,.

BackseatDevil

Jehovah has blessed you both with much, but you can lose it in a split second.

Yes, but what he hasn't blessed you with is peace an quiet. So...

Dude, this is creepy but very typical. I was df'd, kicked out of the closet, living an open gay life, and fighting for equal marriage, flat out told my mom to stop talking to me, told her I would never step foot in a kingdom hall again... and last time I talked with her she mentioned she still had hope that I would return. The other brothers did too.

So I get the appeal of "fading"... but (and I'm asking seriously) at what point do you just say "f off already, it's not gonna happen!"?

Thanks for posting this. And good luck, sir.

59

Son is giving first talk, conflicted

by marriedtoajw in

jw
friends

my son is still studying with the jw's and is giving his first talk this tuesday.

he's 22 and still living in my home.

my other two boys 12 and 15 are here as well but don't study cuz wifee knows how i feel.

BackseatDevil

That is quite a conflict. AND you have been given a lot of good advice. I will add my two cents, and you can take it for what it's worth.

You know the father who REALLY wants his son to pick up the football and play sports but unfortunately the son would rather be in show chior? That's a bit what this seems like LOL. Children grow up to make their own decisions, right or wrong. Your choice as a parent is to take a stand and say "this religion is so messed up I cannot support this" OR you can go and say "I will stand beside my son no matter what decision he makes."

Please understand that either one is a decent and good decision and each will yeild it's own outcome. It totally depends on what kind of father you want to present. The religion... is evil. I know this, you know this. Your son... will eventually figure it out on his own, but as of now he's putting forth an effort to something that is important TO HIM.

in my OPINION The greater truth of the matter... the larger picture of the religion does not trump the support a son feels seeing his father in the audience. Because the "truth" is anything but truth, it doesn't actually matter as much as the relationship between you and your son. He knows you're effort in going, he knows what that means. I personally, would go as late as I could and leave as soon as I could and leave the congrats and how well he did back at home, but that's just me.

Either choice you make will send a strong and good message. But yes... this is a tough one.

127

Anyone else an Ex Bethel "volunteer"

by BackseatDevil in

i was wondering if there were any other ex-bethelites on here.

i personally regularly went for temporary work at brooklyn then was assigned to the farm for a year and a half.

it was... one of the most bizaare experiences of my life.. so i wrote it all down (finally, after some 15 years) so i won't bore anyone on here with the details of the story - because bethel doesn't show up until chapter 15... and for you straight folks, it gets a bit gay in two places... but nothing gross.

BackseatDevil

@grumblecakes Thanks so much! I appreciate it.

@sosoconfused Seriously dude, how did you not f'n kill someone?? One of my driving forces IN LIFE has always been fairness and justice. I stuck up for my roommate because how he was being treated was unfair. And that is considered wrong. The 'pecking order' is just a series of condescensions positioning all the lemmings down a continuingly narrowing spiral lined with the arrogance of each overseer, slippery from the sweat of those they have already broken. I KNOW you put a few of your stories together and you will have one scandalous book.

@LoisLane looking for Superman

How is your leg that the Watchtower didn't care to fix but through their incompetence, made worse? Can you walk OK? Are you still in any pain? Did they ever apologize? Did you sue them?

apology? no. sue them? no, NY State has one of the strictist statute of limitations on malpractice... something like 2 to 4 years. My leg is okay, it does hurt when it rains, still locks up at times... and i can feel it week with side to side movement. So I keep a brace on it when doing anything vigorous.

Are you writing a sequel?

No. A sequel would involve a lot of cocaine and mushrooms, strippers and bartenders... basically all the fun parts of "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas." I did write a story where I helped my best friend go though Hospice a few years back... i'm not liking the middle part of it, so I'm reworking some things.

Best to you as well and thank you again for all the nice things you said.