Posts by losingit

64

Speculation: Female Ministerial Servants coming soon

by Londo111 in

ive no source for this, just personal speculation.. * there is a good case to be made that there were female deacons (ministerial servants) in the bible.. * there is a lack of qualified brothers for basic assignments such as microphones, accounts, literature.

in some cases, elders have had to do double duty because of a lack of ministerial servants or qualified brothers.. * women outnumber men in the organization.. * there is supposedly a surprising change coming "down the pipe".. perhaps the only difference between male and female ministerial servants is that women will still not be allowed to teach..

losingit

Villagegirl with the femnist interpretation of Genesis! I LOVE IT!

Female MS's? Ummmm NO. The guys need to lord over someone , and the KH is the only place where that can happen regularly against a female.

47

Delete Personal Messages

by Maranatha in

i've never been on a website that doesn't allow you to delete your own personal messages.

why can we not do that on this site?

what are your motives in keeping our personal messages?

losingit

I hear you Dis-member!

35

I love my life, I don't want to die

by losingit in

hello everyone..... i've been thinking a lot lately, when i have a chance to be alone my mind immediately comes to the topic at hand-- i don't want to die.

what would happen to my precious little girls?

but i'm so scared that it's going to happen.

losingit

HowTheBibleWasCreated-- I recently started studying Buddhism. There are many aspects to it that are appealing to me at the moment. Perhaps I'll become Buddhist while still retaining my belief in a Creator. But right now all religion is hands-off. The deception practiced by the Witnesses unsettled me, and I cannot return to religion with the type of open heart that I had so many years ago.

Maranatha-- reading that text again from Matthew brought tears to my eyes. It used to be one of my favorite illustrations/ teachings by Jesus. But then we get to Matthew 6:33.... it leaves such a nasty taste in my mouth, remembering the Witnesses. Someone should create a Witness-free Bible a-la Thomas Jefferson's Bible.

Hortensia and Freedom-77: yeahhhhh i gotta open up to the therapist. :-/ not something i am really looking forward to. i do like your idea, though, of writing a letter and having her read it. i usually start writing letters and never send them. i did that a lot towards the end with my ex-husband. i wanted to say so many things, and just felt that it was pointless to continue bc i was afraid he'd never address what i wrote. i was a coward, too, towards the end of my marriage. but with the therapist, it's her job to touch on and discuss all of the points i make.

TG Jasper-- I am the product of a marriage that should have ended a long time ago. I grew up in a miserable household with lots of screaming, hollering, and physical abuse. I remember telling my mom to please get a divorce already. She decided to stay, thinking it would be better if we remained an intact family unit. I guess. I just wanted peace. Things have calmed down significantly in my own household since the separation, but my girls have seen me too many times dwell in my depression since last January. It's definitely gotten better with time. My dedication to my girls helps me to stay focused on what's in front of me, a better future. I'll get there.

Village girl-- my parents are helping me out financially during this time, but I feel absolutely horrible about it. I am also getting help from the state at this time, what we call in the US, "food stamps" and energy assistance. I hope to get rental assistance in September. I'll be working again in the fall-- either as a long-term substitute teacher or a full-fledged teacher. You are right-- the girls do need a stable, secure, happy environment. I do not lock myself in my room all day every day to cry, let me assure you! We've gone to visit the trail by the creek where we live, and we've gone to the pool a bunch of times. I'm always looking to make a special connection with them, always kissing them, always hugging them, always telling them how smart and beautiful they are, and the reasons why, always telling them about the wonderful qualities they possess. I fall short, but I do think as parents we all aim for perfection and are disappointed when we don't hit our mark. I know that I'm a good mom bc I work hard at it. :-) As for child support, the ex has his own business, so getting child support from him from his paycheck is just not going to happen. I have to call the child support office for an update on the situation.

Quelly-- i love your name! quellycatface :-) I am looking for some charities that might help me secure some free baby furnitiure and clothing, but it's hard to get good information online. My parents are already helping out a ton with my 2 oldest girls (which makes me feel so bad) and they've made it clear that they will not provide the same amount of support for this third baby. I completely understand, and it is fine by me. How much do babies really need, really? A safe bed, some clothing for the winter, a breast pump so that I can give good yummy food to this baby, some bottles, and diapers, okay. I've been broke before, but not like this. This is freaking poverty. I'll make it through. Thank you for your words of support.

Daniel 1555-- for a while, when i was first learning TTATT i read a lot of near death experiences shared on this forum and elsewhere. I will admit that it did provide me a measure of comfort. I've been reluctant to enter into the realm of religion again, and sometimes religiosity seeps into near-death experience accounts, so i haven't read as many recently because of that. Maybe I should try again. I am working towards what you wrote here: " Even though I lost my religion (JW) I didn't loose my faith. I pray to and thank my creator, just in a different way than before as a JW." That's my basic spiritual goal.

Jgnat: " I raised my two children on my own and I felt keenly the extra burden that was on me." <-- yes! that right there, that's what it is. I am going to follow yours and Aunt Fancy's advice, yes I am! :-) Strong and healthy-- that's the constant mental and physical goal of my life. Always the aim, especially when life hits the rocks. Thank goodness for this forum.

35

I love my life, I don't want to die

by losingit in

hello everyone..... i've been thinking a lot lately, when i have a chance to be alone my mind immediately comes to the topic at hand-- i don't want to die.

what would happen to my precious little girls?

but i'm so scared that it's going to happen.

losingit

Aunt Fancy-- thank you for the suggestion of writing a will and getting a life insurance policy in the case of anything happening to me. I am going to research that this week and secure a will and life insurance policy right away.

35

I love my life, I don't want to die

by losingit in

hello everyone..... i've been thinking a lot lately, when i have a chance to be alone my mind immediately comes to the topic at hand-- i don't want to die.

what would happen to my precious little girls?

but i'm so scared that it's going to happen.

losingit

Ducatijoe-- thank you for sharing your life experience with me. I know I am going through the roughest period of my life right now, but I will survive it, move forward, and be in a better place. I have faith.

LoisLane-- thank you for your words of support. I do not make use of the PMs, perhaps I should. I haven't seen too many ppl sharing their life experiences lately. I usually go to those to read uplifiting and encouraging advice.

Jeannette and Perry-- i am not ready to pray to him consciously. Perhaps he feels the natural prayers of supplication, thanksgiving, and mourning that come out of my heart. If he is a fantasy creation, God, I do not know. There is a Creator, I am just not sure he hears prayers.

47

Delete Personal Messages

by Maranatha in

i've never been on a website that doesn't allow you to delete your own personal messages.

why can we not do that on this site?

what are your motives in keeping our personal messages?

losingit

Btw -- i also want to know how to delete pms. Gonna check to see if it can be done.

47

Delete Personal Messages

by Maranatha in

i've never been on a website that doesn't allow you to delete your own personal messages.

why can we not do that on this site?

what are your motives in keeping our personal messages?

losingit

The atheist -believer debates can be exhausting and sometimes troubling to read. I try to avoid them. I did a lot of research on this site about jw doctrines and history using the search button above before i started posting regularly. I devoured jwfacts and went straight to the personal experiences on this site. Even tho I was a jw, I feel like Im a bit different from your typical member on this site-- i was a convert, no family followed me into the cult, my ex is df'd also, his family lives in another coubtry, so i have no regular contact with witnesses unless i seek them out (which i haven't. ) in addition, although i was baptized ,i believed only to some degree. Lots of the doctrine was/ is stupid /nonsensical so in many ways i was happy to go back to being me after leaving last july. idk your personal situation. But this site is very useful if you need support with moving on with your life after the jws.

35

I love my life, I don't want to die

by losingit in

hello everyone..... i've been thinking a lot lately, when i have a chance to be alone my mind immediately comes to the topic at hand-- i don't want to die.

what would happen to my precious little girls?

but i'm so scared that it's going to happen.

losingit

I do worry about providing for my girls and their future, and not just financially. My dad was a major hard core alcoholic when I was a little girl. I didn't talk to him til Iwas in college. I still remember the first time he said I love you to me. It was my sophomore year in college. He was incredibly abusive to my mom. While things are significantly better in our family bc he's stopped drinking, the scars are still there. I didn't want my girls to sufferthru a childhood without their father present. Now he's gone. I am mourning for their loss. I am internalizing that pain. I want him to.come back to our girls. He won't.He chooses instead to blame everything that's happened on me. His hands are clean.

35

I love my life, I don't want to die

by losingit in

hello everyone..... i've been thinking a lot lately, when i have a chance to be alone my mind immediately comes to the topic at hand-- i don't want to die.

what would happen to my precious little girls?

but i'm so scared that it's going to happen.

losingit

Hybridous-- I wish my ex husband would see fatherhood as you do. I don't understand what happened to him. When he was a jw and we were still married, he was such an excellent father , hands on, present, caring, lovng, funny. A really great father. Heknows how to do my girls ' curly hair! My girls miss him so much. I miss him too, as their father .

But since the dissolution of the marriage, he has disappeared financially, emotionally, spiritually. The change incharacter is shocking. My oldest cant even accept what's happening withoit crying. My youngest feels the trauma deep inside her. It is disorienting. Idk how to describe how much his abandonment hurts us all. We are destitute without him. There is no peace.

35

I love my life, I don't want to die

by losingit in

hello everyone..... i've been thinking a lot lately, when i have a chance to be alone my mind immediately comes to the topic at hand-- i don't want to die.

what would happen to my precious little girls?

but i'm so scared that it's going to happen.

losingit

I hear you about not having another kid-- tubal ligation all tge way. I had a choice with this child, to keep it or not. I am 36 going on 37. I had a miscarriage about 4 years ago when I was still with my husband. It was devastating bc that baby was planned and loved so much even before it was conceived. I had a choic, and I wanted a third child for quite some time. The baby came in a mnth when I was extremely careful with contraception on the VERY FEW occasions I was intimate with my bf. How could I deny this child life?

Yes, I think Im suffering from anxiety. When I was a jw I definitely did not suffer from worrying about death, maybe some depression that I couldn't quite explain the reason. Now I know it was cognitive dissonance. I'm seeing a therapist now but Im too embarrassed and ashamed to open up about such atopic. I started to, but ccouldn't continue. The embarrassment shuts me up.