You are on a Pink Floyd sojourn. Another brick in the wall (of your theism) is removed with each passing week/month you post on this site. Been there done that. It can be scary thinking the wall and its foundation will be entirely removed. I predict it will and you will wonder why the fuss.
Losing my religion was a lot like the scene in Forest Gump where he has taken up running (popular in the '70s America) and has become somewhat of a national inspiration to others. One day, while running in the desert along an open highway with barren landscape (and a lot of Gumpians following him) he just stops in his tracks and says: "I'm pretty tired. I think I'll go home now.' Voice over: "And just like that, my runnin' days were over."