I don't think we should focus on the bad. I don't think we should focus on the good, either. Just take things for what they are worth, both "good" and "bad" (notice quotation marks -- these are subjective, not objective, descriptions).
Mega, much of what you say is true, and I concur. I look back at the incredible -- yes, paralyzing -- guilt I experienced over masturbation as a normal, healthy male teenager. It's really too bad I bought into that crap. Yes, I bought into that crap. (I might add that many parents instill guilt into their children about masturbation and a boat-load of other things....in fact, most parents do!)
Nevertheless, I think you are guilty of the "compostion fallacy" in stating that any of the positives the JWs had/have are "moot." That's all or nothing thinking, my friend. And, some of the things you mention -- such as expectations and beliefs that you now feel are phoney, ie "paranoia about an unseen spirit realm" -- are things that most religions share to some extent. Does not the Catholic Church still perform exorcisms? And, am I mistaken in saying that you do indeed still believe in an "unseen realm" which includes "evil spirits"? I'm not saying that to denigrate your views at all, but to denigrate some of the WTs (similar!) beliefs seems a little odd.
I experienced many positives as a JW, including:
-learning to speak before a large audience
-at least some familiarity with the most influential book in Western history, the Bible
-knowledge (I was even going to say "accurate" knowledge!) about the roots of holidays, church history, etc.
-salesmanship skills
-an "outsider" view on popular culture/politics/etc.....I actually think this is very beneficial
And then there are positives about my negative experiences in the Dubs
-the "agony" and "ecstasy" of insight into the wrongness of long-held beliefs....how many people are there that radically change their entire belief system? Not many. I count this experience as a positive
-similar to above -- enhanced understanding of group behavior and social psychology
-the good feeling I've gotten from standing up for what I feel is right in the face of opposition...this has built character.
And more as well. Of course, some of the experiences I mention could have been gained in other ways; by being raised a Mormon, for one. But, alas, I was raised a JW. That's just how my life played out. Big deal.
Bradley