Mlllie210, your story resonates with so many of us. What you are describing sounds a lot like an "Existential Crisis". There is a body of psychotherapy ("Existential Therapy") which might provide you additional tools to deal with that "free fall" effect and help you develop a sense for your own meaning.
I have often heard the statement "Religion gives us the 'Why'" and each time I just have to shake my head and do a 'facepalm'. If you compare all Religions in the most objective way all you will find are a collection of people (usually from the Bronze Age) who codified their answers/opinions to that question. I think we are much smarter than them and know much more than they did and are likely to come up with better answers. If you really think about it "Religion" doesn't really seem to provide an answer. All it does is makes you "feel" like you have one. Kinda of like a "Teddy Bear" makes a child feel safe.
Science can and does provide a large number of "Why" answers. However, its role is not to replace the "Teddy Bear". And, I think this is were many people get stuck.