Posts by trybalance

121

Hi

by trybalance in

jw
friends

i'm a first time poster.

i'm not a jw.

my wife has been a jw for 5 years now.

UnD she says she happy and she acts happy. I have been on this planet long enough to know things go wrong. I know there is always the hidden things. If the hidden stuff comes out and its ugly then leave. My question was why the attitude? Does going over and over this stuff and keeping it in your face all the time really help you? And please don't beat me up and say I have no heart for not understanding. I just can't see it. The reaction I got from stinkypants makes me think that something is very wrong here. I just came to ask a question and state my thoughts. I don't think I called any body names are accused anybody of anything.Thats what I don't understand about you guys. If I don't share your anger and attitude and do not agree with your wanting to hang onto this pain does that make me heartless?

Boy UnD you guys are keeping me busy tonight. I never said that the preachers were right. Hell it is too bad. What are you going to do about it? Pass out stuffed lambs? I just don't get the why's and how's of what makes you guys keep doing this stuff. Its not my judgement so please dont beat me up. I just dont understand. It seems like lawyers and police are the answer from what I'm hearing. But to go around the world passing out stuffed lambs seems a bit useless ot me. Like my original question Why the attitudes? Attitudes don't make things right. At least in my opinion. All the stuff here, the way I see it, only keeps fueling anger and pain. It dont fix anything. And from what I have read here there have been a lot of people hurt further because of fueling this stuff. Like the guy at work said- go to the internet and you will see. All I see is pain, anger and attitude. I just can't understand why people would keep fueling that. Hell I don't go visit graves of my lost family members. They are in my heart but why would I go to that plot of ground and keep the grave in my mind? To me I want the momories of when they were alive and we were happy. I just don't see why anyone would want to keep themselves fed on the ugly parts of life.

Edited by - trybalance on 14 October 2002 3:4:41

121

Hi

by trybalance in

jw
friends

i'm a first time poster.

i'm not a jw.

my wife has been a jw for 5 years now.

trybalance

I was just told that I had no heart because I would move on and could get over things. I only asked questions and gave my thoughts. I never told anyone they had no heart or were wrong. I just said that I could not understand the attitude and by saying that the attitudes got worse.

Ooops I missed some more questions.

Lilacs even if they came knocking on your door you did not have to buy what they were selling. It was still your choice. Do you buy a vacuum from every kirby guy that comes knocking?

UnD- the mother and the father needs to go to jail. I have seen such things on tv. To bad for the child to have both parents that way. But hey you take bad advise what happens. I have taken bad advise before. Still did not waste my life blaming the person for giving it to me. Just kicked myself real hard, leanred a lesson and got to moving.

Edited by - trybalance on 14 October 2002 2:48:8

121

Hi

by trybalance in

jw
friends

i'm a first time poster.

i'm not a jw.

my wife has been a jw for 5 years now.

trybalance

Ok I thank you all again for answering from your hearts. I was a bit shy to write my feelings. I will leave by saying that it only took about 30 minutes for people to start trying to judge my heart here. Don't know if thats a record or not. I love my family and would be devestated to loose any of them to anything. But by no means would I keep tormenting myself for the remainder of my life if they chose to exclude me from the family. They would always be near to my heart but as I feel about my son if I know that he is doing well and is happy I don't have to see him all the time. My love for my family is not selfish. If they choose not to want me around that is theri choice. I only want them to be happy. If being a witness makes them happy good for them. If they dont talk to me that would be something we all would have to live with. But if they are happy with that then I would learn how to get happy with it and not let it eat me alive.

And I also would not blame the religion because my family chose the religion the religion did not choose them. They made up their minds as my wife did and that was her choice. I would not spend my time going on and on about a religion when it was her choice. Just like the child sex thing the parent made the choice. The religion may have given bad advise but the parent was the responsible party.

Edited by - trybalance on 14 October 2002 2:35:51

121

Hi

by trybalance in

jw
friends

i'm a first time poster.

i'm not a jw.

my wife has been a jw for 5 years now.

trybalance

Feel like I am standing in front of a bunch of reporters trying to get back inside the building and they keep asking another question. The story youo just told about the paents who did not report the abuse by the father. Well like I said the mom should have reported it. If she put the church ahead of the childs welfare she is responsible. It is starting to get clearer for me though, thanks to your answers and questions. I got to say though that it still falls back on the family. Just because a church says I will go to hell if I don't drink this poisened koolaid don't mean that I am going to drink it. So if the parent does something stupid just because a preacher said it was the right thing to do that makes the parent wrong. That is like saying that the boy killed his mother because he watched a steven king movie.

Anyway stinkypants I never said it would be easy to get over it. I just would'nt keep sitting around looking at old pictures and home movies trying to keep myself upset over the loss. Hell I would never get over it that way. That would be like me saying that I enjoyed the pain so I will keep reminding myself about all the ugly stuff everyday. Just don't feel right to me.

121

Hi

by trybalance in

jw
friends

i'm a first time poster.

i'm not a jw.

my wife has been a jw for 5 years now.

trybalance

I hope that I answered all of your questions. I thank you for the time you took to try and answer mine. I still have to say though that I don't care for all the attitude and anger stuff. But thank you all anyway.

121

Hi

by trybalance in

jw
friends

i'm a first time poster.

i'm not a jw.

my wife has been a jw for 5 years now.

trybalance

Pope I like your hat. I smoke. I don't quit because I like to smoke. If the doctor told me that I had cancer and have to quit smoking I would quit.Might not be easy for me but I think I would give it a honest try. But I do enjoy the smoke.

121

Hi

by trybalance in

jw
friends

i'm a first time poster.

i'm not a jw.

my wife has been a jw for 5 years now.

trybalance

You guys keep asking me all these questions. About the blood thing. My wife is a grown woman. I respect her right to choose what she wants to do. If she had cancer and decided not to do the chemo thing I would try to talk to her but hey it is her body and her life. You can bet I will take the blood for myself. People die every day. Some are senseless deaths and few are wanted deaths. Like I said if this religion thing gets in the way of my marriage greener pasture is out there. At 37 I know that I get over it and move on. If the church don't report the child sex thing? Well I blame the parent not the church. I saw on here that there is a guy traveling around giving out stuffed lambs. I also saw where people got beat up for saying something about him. I'll leave that one alone.

I saw another site where a guy said the watchtower tried to kill his daughter. My eyes lit up real big until I read the story. Seems the guy was a witness and his daughter got sick. He decided to let her have the blood anyway. She died anyway. Then after all these years he's still trying to blame the watchtower for his daighters death. Like I said there is a lot of attitude here that even though I read the stories I have to wonder why people don't move on. It's kind of like they like the anger. Any ugly things that happened in my life I always wanted to move on and get happy. Here it seems that eveyone wants to keep eating away at this stuff and keep each other fueled up over it. Just seems like a waste to me and it is rather ugly you got to admit. If you got out of something you hated so much why keep thriving on it? Why the attitude?

121

Hi

by trybalance in

jw
friends

i'm a first time poster.

i'm not a jw.

my wife has been a jw for 5 years now.

trybalance

Woooo! Boy I did'nt expect all this so quick. Thank you for trying to answer me. I will check back later to read the rest. From here though it seems that you guys are trying to sell me on the anger attitude thing. I can understand the hurt and all but I can't live my life with all this attutude. Thank you but I guess I got my answer. I want to live with my wife whether she is a witness or not. I hate to say it but if this religion thing gets in the way- well I'll move on to greener pasture. Life is to short for me to want to hate so much. I've been hurt real bad before by a bunch of people but I move on. Hell I've got a grown son that I have'nt seen since he was 7. Ugly divorce. I moved forward. Tried to see him. Fought it out in court and all the rest. Next thing you know 12 years of my life is gone and where was I? Her family had the bucks and I was broke. People can be ugly and pin all sorts of stuff on you. Hate it about my son but thats the way it went. Can't blame god or satan or religion. One day I'll be grey headed and old. Don't want to waste my life on this thing. Thanks for answering though.

A lot of buttons her to figure out.

Wanted to add that I told them at the kingdom hall that I did not believe all the stuff they teach. They tried to explain their way of seeing things but I just was honest with them and they left me alone.

Edited by - trybalance on 14 October 2002 1:31:57

121

Hi

by trybalance in

jw
friends

i'm a first time poster.

i'm not a jw.

my wife has been a jw for 5 years now.

trybalance

I can understand poeple being hurt and all. In the few months I've been looking at these places, well, let me put it this way I was very shy about even putting my words here. There is just a lot of bad things said and it didn't seem like a warm and fuzzy place to be. If a guy says the wrong thing on one of these places he gets beat up pretty hard. The guy at work that told me about these places said that I would learn a lot and make a lot of friends that would help me to understand. I'll be bold here to say that what I learned was that former witnesses have a big attitude going. All I wanted to do, after I got up the courage, was ask why? It seems like, well, these people are more eat up with the jehovahs witness thing than they are at the kingdom hall. I was born into a penacostal family. When my wife started the kingdom hall thing I went along for the ride. I thought well at least these people are'nt rolling on the floor. But even in our little penacostal church we had some people that were'nt nice. Things did'nt always go right. But hell, thats life. Had a guy down the street that got in trouble for having sex with his little niece but that did'nt ruin our neighborhood if you see what I mean. Anyway it took me a long time to just ask this question and now I will probably regret it.

121

Hi

by trybalance in

jw
friends

i'm a first time poster.

i'm not a jw.

my wife has been a jw for 5 years now.

trybalance

I'm a first time poster. I'm not a JW. My wife has been a JW for 5 years now. I go to the meetings with her and always have. A few months back a friend at work learned that my wife was a witness and that I went to the Kingdom Hall with her. Come to find out he is a former witness. He came down real hard on me. Then he told me to go to the internet and see for myself. So about six months back I started checking these sites out. To make a long story short I was amazed at what I saw. I didnt care to much about what the watchtower was doing to be honest. What amazed me was that the former witnesses were more wrapped up in watchtower things than the current witnesses. I will say that once I told the people at the kingdom hall that I was not going to study or become a jehovahs witness they acted happy that I just came to the church with my wife. They all talk to me and I do play sofball with them from time to time. I dont believe everything they believe. I would go with my wife to the baptist church if that is what she wanted. And I would'nt belive everything they believe either. Anyway, as an outsider, so to speak, I had to sign up here and ask why all the attitude? My brother and his wife are catholics and they are'nt into all this hate and anger thing. And the witnesses at the kingdom hall treat me well even though I am not a member. My wife always said that there were a lot of people that heted the witnesses but I was not quite prepared for all this. I got to tell you though that the guy at work that lead me here, well this thing sure backfired on him. He just quit talking about it when I told him what I saw here. Now he just changes the subject.