Blues: She's 84. Has been dependent on alcohol for decades. She is still quite sharp minded but I have to say she was crabby, rude and downright objectionable
ever since I can remember. I could relate lots of stuff especially with relation to her siblings who refused to speak to her for years over a family financial
matter. We had a very poor mother/daughter relationship, she never could say outright, I love you for example. She took no motherly
pride in her little girl and kept me quite unkempt. At 5 I started school. She walked with me the first day and that was it.
At that age I had to get myself up and do my hair and have a slice of bread before walking the 20 mins
to school alone. At 11 I was washing my own school clothes. Only when I was 32 did she confess that when I was growing up
she was extremely jealous of me as my Dad doted on me so much and she could not forgive me for that (Not exactly my fault.) I made up for it all
by treating my own two daughters like princesses! I've always believed my mother had a personality flaw and couldn't help herself.
Dad died in 1975 aged 48.
She expected to be reunited with him before the decade was out. She thinks the big A might come on 4th October. Pathetic really.
I've never been bitter about my childhood and swept it under the carpet. But a lousy childhood and cult life combined could have screwed
me up, but it thankfully hasn't. She always doted on her eldest son and also Karl as he was born in their Silver wedding anniversary year.
My older brother really did give him a beating at 15 when he refused to go to the K H any more. But he reported it at school and Social Services
were called and he was put into the care of a foster family for a year. But yet his relationship with his mum was restored and maintained
until this tragic latest (and final) episode.
