UBM101

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Posts by UBM101

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  44

  Newly wed UBM and soon to meet JW in-laws

  by UBM101 in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i have been lurking here for a couple of years.

  my hubby (inactive & some doubts) and i were just married and i'll be going to his place to meet his family (pretty much dubs).

  they seem to be friendly and excited to meet me, and i kind of had agreed to attend the kingdumb hall meeting once (in my life time, yep, that's the agreement) and also meeting an elder who brain-washed my hubby during his teen.

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  UBM101

  ABCXYZ is also me. See? I already have 2 personalities
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  44

  Newly wed UBM and soon to meet JW in-laws

  by UBM101 in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i have been lurking here for a couple of years.

  my hubby (inactive & some doubts) and i were just married and i'll be going to his place to meet his family (pretty much dubs).

  they seem to be friendly and excited to meet me, and i kind of had agreed to attend the kingdumb hall meeting once (in my life time, yep, that's the agreement) and also meeting an elder who brain-washed my hubby during his teen.

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  UBM101

  Do you know how he feels about all this?

  Well, he gets touchy when his comfort zone border is crossed (when he felt like I am making him to somehow participate in birthday, christmas and other celebrations among other things). He knew about my stand looong before we got married and he still persisted on us getting married, said except for things like Christmas, birthday etc, the rest are small matters. Either he is lying to himself or me, I think he is quite okay with our differences. He is in the process of pursuing his higher education too despite discouragement from parents, saying that he wants a good life for the family, and wants the same (good education) for the kids (if we have any). So, that's a bit of background info.

  Pecan, I am sorry to hear that.
• 
  44

  Newly wed UBM and soon to meet JW in-laws

  by UBM101 in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i have been lurking here for a couple of years.

  my hubby (inactive & some doubts) and i were just married and i'll be going to his place to meet his family (pretty much dubs).

  they seem to be friendly and excited to meet me, and i kind of had agreed to attend the kingdumb hall meeting once (in my life time, yep, that's the agreement) and also meeting an elder who brain-washed my hubby during his teen.

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  UBM101

  Hubby knows my stand about the cult. He has a cousin whose husband is working on telling TTAT to him as well. Probably what I need to verify from him now is how he would like me to response to all these later when I meet his family.
• 
  44

  Newly wed UBM and soon to meet JW in-laws

  by UBM101 in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i have been lurking here for a couple of years.

  my hubby (inactive & some doubts) and i were just married and i'll be going to his place to meet his family (pretty much dubs).

  they seem to be friendly and excited to meet me, and i kind of had agreed to attend the kingdumb hall meeting once (in my life time, yep, that's the agreement) and also meeting an elder who brain-washed my hubby during his teen.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  UBM101

  We had a long distance relationship and no, we did not live in sin . I am pretty a Christian myself and we kept it as "clean" as we can. We dated for 2 years, and finally decided to get married. I can see how hard my husband try to keep to his faith & belief (as he said his faith and belief changes sometime and that makes him sad - but me happy ). I am quite convinced that he doubts and probably it is hard for him to belief but something inside that holds him in. Probably fear of losing his family, or other factors, I have no idea.

  He has all the traits that Bells mentioned above which at first annoyed me but came to understand why later. We have had a few heated argument before and I concluded that direct argument and discussion is not gonna work. What I can do best now is to live and show him that the world and Christendom are not as the WTBS claimed to be, and subtly highlighting the flaws and lies of the WTBS as much as I can.

  And future plan is, to keep him physically as far away as possible from the family.
• 
  44

  Newly wed UBM and soon to meet JW in-laws

  by UBM101 in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i have been lurking here for a couple of years.

  my hubby (inactive & some doubts) and i were just married and i'll be going to his place to meet his family (pretty much dubs).

  they seem to be friendly and excited to meet me, and i kind of had agreed to attend the kingdumb hall meeting once (in my life time, yep, that's the agreement) and also meeting an elder who brain-washed my hubby during his teen.

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  2. 
  3. 
• 

  UBM101

  Academy of Apostates - I love that lol! Well, the AOA saves my life.

  Jnat, yes, I read Steve's first book "Combatting Cult Mind Control". More to come.
• 
  44

  Newly wed UBM and soon to meet JW in-laws

  by UBM101 in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i have been lurking here for a couple of years.

  my hubby (inactive & some doubts) and i were just married and i'll be going to his place to meet his family (pretty much dubs).

  they seem to be friendly and excited to meet me, and i kind of had agreed to attend the kingdumb hall meeting once (in my life time, yep, that's the agreement) and also meeting an elder who brain-washed my hubby during his teen.

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  2. 
  3. 
• 

  UBM101

  Thanks everyone! It will take alot of patience, wisdom and love to do that. I know it's gonna be tough and tricky.
• 
  44

  Newly wed UBM and soon to meet JW in-laws

  by UBM101 in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i have been lurking here for a couple of years.

  my hubby (inactive & some doubts) and i were just married and i'll be going to his place to meet his family (pretty much dubs).

  they seem to be friendly and excited to meet me, and i kind of had agreed to attend the kingdumb hall meeting once (in my life time, yep, that's the agreement) and also meeting an elder who brain-washed my hubby during his teen.

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  2. 
  3. 
• 

  UBM101

  Thanks Lois
• 
  44

  Newly wed UBM and soon to meet JW in-laws

  by UBM101 in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i have been lurking here for a couple of years.

  my hubby (inactive & some doubts) and i were just married and i'll be going to his place to meet his family (pretty much dubs).

  they seem to be friendly and excited to meet me, and i kind of had agreed to attend the kingdumb hall meeting once (in my life time, yep, that's the agreement) and also meeting an elder who brain-washed my hubby during his teen.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  UBM101

  Thanks Jnat. I have not yet asked my hubby if the parents are pressuring him, but my guess is all the time. He did not tell me and it seems to me that he too is trying hard to portray that his family and the JWs are very normal ppl. We had argument a few times over religion, and I made a mistake by using all his examples of what he told me about the family. My bad!

  Perhaps I should in a gentle way ask him how he feels about everything, and whether he felt pressured from both side?
• 
  44

  Newly wed UBM and soon to meet JW in-laws

  by UBM101 in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i have been lurking here for a couple of years.

  my hubby (inactive & some doubts) and i were just married and i'll be going to his place to meet his family (pretty much dubs).

  they seem to be friendly and excited to meet me, and i kind of had agreed to attend the kingdumb hall meeting once (in my life time, yep, that's the agreement) and also meeting an elder who brain-washed my hubby during his teen.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  UBM101
• 
  44

  Newly wed UBM and soon to meet JW in-laws

  by UBM101 in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i have been lurking here for a couple of years.

  my hubby (inactive & some doubts) and i were just married and i'll be going to his place to meet his family (pretty much dubs).

  they seem to be friendly and excited to meet me, and i kind of had agreed to attend the kingdumb hall meeting once (in my life time, yep, that's the agreement) and also meeting an elder who brain-washed my hubby during his teen.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  UBM101

  Hi there

  I have been lurking here for a couple of years. My hubby (inactive & some doubts) and I were just married and I'll be going to his place to meet his family (pretty much dubs). They seem to be friendly and excited to meet me, and I kind of had agreed to attend the kingdumb hall meeting once (in my life time, yep, that's the agreement) and also meeting an elder who brain-washed my hubby during his teen. So I am kind of expecting all those to happen. Here are the things that I foresee to happen:

  1. I'll be love bombed by his family, and perharps some of his remaining dubby "friends" and if we go to the congregation, from the congregation of course

  2. Indoctrination - endless talk about the Bible, Satan, paganism etc

  My hubby and I are planing to move away from the place where his family are, and now it seems like the parents are trying hard to change his mind. Hubby is kind of in-between, doubting in his beliefs, having plenty of worldly friends but very much still mentally in.

  I am still contemplating what to do, or what strategy am I going to use when I meet them all and when they put me in the above mentioned situation. Should I:

  1. frankly tell them off firmly that I will never ever belief in their craps, that I have done enough research about the JW and I can never agree to their doctrine and policies?

  2. frankly tell them off firmly that I have my own belief (I am a Christian), and avoid such discussion at all course?

  3. play along and pretend to be dumb and ask many questions, instilling doubts (hopefully)?

  I don't want to get my hubby into trouble (family relationship is still very much intact), and as much as I can I would like to show them respect and love them, as I believe they are just victims of deception and are people who are seeking God.

  This forum had been very helpful to me in these couple of year, and I believe feedback and advice from you all will be of great help to me and hopefully my hubby in the future too.

  And oh, HELLO and NICE MEETING YOU WONDERFUL PEOPLE!!

  Super Wife