Thanks all...I'm having a slight panic attack thinking about all of this. This is awful.
I wish I had seen some of these posts before I told my husband about my thoughts. While he was calm and understanding, he put up the same j-dub wall they all do. For now, around him, I'll put on the 'good j-dub wife' mask...but I can't change what truths I have come to.
Question: when you're being de-programmed, do you have any physical pain in your head?
But, thank you all again for your support. I'll make it through this, I know I will!