This is a heartwarming thread, Clarity! I'm a newbie too, registered 7 days ago. Been reading a lot the last couple of months and come here everyday. I've known TTATT for years now, thanks to a Dutch ex-JWboard, and a couple of years ago I thought I was done with the whole 'JW-thing'...
They kicked me out eleven years ago and I moved on with my life, struggling every now and then, had therapy with a lovely psychologist who helped me a lot to get my self esteem back on track, and I thought I was 'ready'... new life, forget about the JW's.
But it doesn't work that way. You can get the girl out of the cult, but the cult will always be part of the girl... at least, that's my experience. Since my whole family is still in there is this constant reminder of what's missing... caring parents, loving brothers and sisters, nieces, nephews, grandparents, aunts and uncles... they're all JW's, and some have faded but still judge me for living my life the way I want to live it. And that's a pain that doesn't go away. I can live with it, it's not a daily issue in my head, but it's a gap, a black hole in my life that can never be filled with other people... God knows I've tried that!
And so I've started reading on the Dutch board again and found links to JWstruggle and this forum... and it's really soothing to read other people's stories. I can relate to so many things I read, that I just keep on reading... it really helps. I've got a wonderful husband (never been a JW), and he listens to everything I want to tell about my past, but he could never grasp the tiniest bit of what I've been through growing up as a JW. And that's what's so wonderful of this forum, it's packed with people who DO understand, who had the same experiences as I did... and I'm very grateful for that!
Oh and the translation of my name is easy, since I live in Spain in the area they call the 'Costa del Sol' ('Coast of the Sun' or 'Sunny coast') and I'm a witch (yep, that's what I wrote, I'm a white witch) and the Spanish word for 'witch' is 'bruja'... there you go, I'm the Witch of the Sun, or Sunny Witch
![Bruja del Sol signature Bruja del Sol signature](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7)