I am so sorry what has happened to you. It's so unforgivable the way they have harassed you just so they can use their power to df you.
These elders are scumbags that have stopped your daughter and mother talking to you when you need them most.
Their logic is flawed. You are not committing any sins as your fiance is battling cancer and is unable to fornicate. So their conclusions are unacceptable and you have been out for a number of years.
This is obvious evidence for you that holy spirit is not guiding them. Love and kindness is not their driving force. All they enjoy is having power and control over you.
I hope your daughter and your mother feel for you and start supporting you soon. You never know they may. I very much hope so.
Kate xx