Posts by talesin

59

Why don't you do anything?

by WireRider in

i'm not jw, so i see this all standing up and very clear from an outsider perspective (i am still seeking my path).

i joined the blog a few weeks ago.

i dated a divorced jw (jw from birth) for a couple of years recently.

talesin

To the OP.

What I do know is a 1000 different TTATT dissociated websites isn't going anywhere and has no impact. Which is the basis for the WT/JW - if you leave, or if they kick you out, you'll have no place to go. You're screwed. Give them some place to go and feel welcome. It underminds the whole love you or your f@#$ked mentality that makes them so effective. Half want to leave, and the other half can't figure out how. Give them away. If you countermand their control over people and they will fall. Stop waiting in the wings and talking about gossip and wishing. Propaganda and money is their weak points - be better at it - they will fall. Minds will be free.
I'm going to bow out for now. But you all really have a chance to make a difference if you unify, present a unified front, educate, and provide an alternative for recovering WT/JW.

Indeed.

It's important to realize that every member of the exJW 'community' is a cult survivor. To quote the poster Oubliette, who has proven to be one among many of our great teachers (and it is, I believe, his profession), It's a cult!

If we were recovering Moonies, would you have the same expectation? This is not a criticism, but an observation (learned that expression from a friend) ..........

Organizing exJWs is like herding cats. You can try! i think we do best, with a supportive group, and individual attention to specific issues.

I think it would be nice if we all embraced anarchy, which is to say, to HELL with rules! The principle of anarchy and mob rule is not as portrayed in Mad Max - it means the "community" decides justice - not a government, but the local village. If you abuse MY child, you will live OUTSIDE the village, and we MAY choose to share our food!

It doesn't work well in our present western culture, but it is an interesting, and I think, tribal, concept.

xx

39

Had you thought of feeling sorry for the G.B?

by The Rebel in

jw
friends

i only bring this to the board, because a friend of mine once said he felt sorry for the footballers who made so much money.

that comment stayed with me, and over the years,the more i thought about that comment the more i agreed with him.. i admit the g.b destroy people's life's and are the sublimation of all that's good in people's life.

there only excuse is a fantazy asylum they claim to believe in.

talesin

These are not 'self-made men'. They are indolent, politically-wise, serial abusers, and most likely, sociopaths. They are the worst of corporate America.

PIty? Sure. Do I care? Not a shred.

xx

42

Why are GMO's bad?

by cappytan in

jw
friends

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sh4bi60alzu.

first person to say, "this scishow episode is a monsanto conspiracy," is a rotten egg..

talesin

I agree with what you said in an earlier comment DJS, in that a rational, scientific approach is the way to go.

Just like with any manipulation of the natural order of things (for lack of a better term), It only makes sense that we won't know for a few decades, or perhaps, generations. Truth be told, it is corporations who fund research . That's the part that leaves me feeling a bit queasy about GMOs. I also don't like the fact that my government refuses to have them labelled as such. I want the right to choose - my body only gets the best of fuel! (true)

The issue of seed monopoly is real. There are a lot of newspaper articles online (not facebook or blogs or what I call 'biased rags', but real news) that we can read, about farmers and court cases with the "M" corp. Farmers are not happy. Local farmers are not happy about GMO crops, either - now, that's from the horse's mouth.

My mind is open to listening to other people's ideas, and yeah, I defend their right to speculate. Like Johnny said "Whatever gets ya through the night, is all right, with me." The thing is, I'm not really into conspiracies. I just want more facts, and less obfuscation from governments and corporations.

Having lived through Bill Gates' story (ie, was teaching PCs at a community college in '85, and had to change business models several times when first WANG went under, then Gates screwed those of us who had the awesome very first MACs !, then the anti-trust charges brought against him by the government in early days when he pushed DOS-based systems out through monopolistic (is that a word? tired here!) business practices - yeah, I worked in computers), I was and am leary of his involvement with anything, especially under the guise of 'helping the poor'. The food crisis and why it exists is a whole 'other' topic.

Are GMOs "bad"? I do not know. Should we be cautious, and use common sense about the ecosystem and our bodies? Hell to the yeah!

I think that only time will tell. And yeah, we should only believe facts. I'm queasy about the whole thing, because of Gates, and because when it comes to health, and money, we've been lied to before (tobacco is the best example).

Heck, a researcher at the local NRC (National Research Council), Dr. Stan Kutcher (MD) was one of the researchers that was implicated in the largest (2012) health care fraud of all time, GlaxoSmithKline $3B and Paxil. Crazy, to see a local political candidate, and Medical Doctor involved. It really hits home.

It's important, like you say, to check sites that end in .edu, or places like the Mayo Clinic about health care, etc.

Always sound advice!

37

I'm a coward.

by cappytan in

jw
friends

since the move, it has been so enjoyable to not have jw's breathing down our necks asking why we didn't make the meeting, or having to pretend to be "spiritual" in front of family all the time.. 90% of my week is virtually stress free.

then, my mom calls or texts wanting to talk to her grandkids.

every dang call, she asks about the new congregation, if we went to the meeting, etc.. why can't i tell her to fk off?

talesin

Hey, you are not a coward. The relationship we have with a parent is different from any other. The mother-son and father-daughter dynamic is especially powerful.

Don't feel bad - your feelings are always valid. No guilt or shame, please!

I couldn't add anything to the advice that is already on the thread, except my support. I'm not very good in the 'Parental Unit' Department. * grins *

xx

24

i'm changing, but for the worse

by embarrassed in

that is the truth-- that's really how i think now.

so why should i tell the truth?

just look at the person i've become.

talesin

As JWs, we were expected to be 'perfect'.

You said that your BF did not believe the things you told him about your life, from the very beginning of your relationship. That is a red flag - he has trust issues, so can *he* be trusted?

This need to please, can be especially difficult to overcome when we have newly left the LIE. We were taught that leaving the b'Org meant we would always be alone, so the fear is ingrained. On top of that, the JW love is conditional, so our neural pathways are set on one message: Tell people what they want to hear, or they won't love you! Your BF reinforced that message by being mistrustful of you from day one.

That's not to say he is necessarily a toxic person - most people have some issues - that is for you to determine.

You don't need to hide who you are, in order to be loved.

New neural paths can be created. Just like in nature, we can forge a new path, and over time, it will become the natural way to go, as the old path gets clogged with undergrowth and becomes harder to find.

This is one of the purposes of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. Once you figure out what you need to do (Transactional Analysis and other therapeutic techniques are very effective), then change your behaviours.

Here's a good example of one thing I had to change. I had that 'bad parent' in my head who always said "That was stupid!" So, every time I had that abusive thought, I would correct myself and say......... "If I had to do that over again, I would do it differently.." Healthy people make mistakes, too. : ) After a while (and it took a while), I stopped thinking "That was stupid", and would think "Doh! I'll do it different the next time". I created a new neural path, and this meant I was no longer punishing myself unfairly.

Do some research online, read some books, and a great choice may be to see a counsellor or therapist to help you work through these issues.

But at all times, remember this:

You is kind. You is smart. You is important. ~ Kathryn Stockett, The Help

xx

EDIT: Just saw your post, Van - agreed. As Dan Savage would say, DTMFA : ) Every relationship is a learning experience, though.

37

S*** JW Parents Say

by Dissonant15 in

my mom especially had some go-to phrases that to this day echo in my head and piss me off.

things like, .

"don't get mad at me for enforcing the rules, because jehovah made them, so if you don't like it, you're disrespecting him.

talesin

"If everybody wanted to jump off the Bridge, would you do it, too."

(at this point, mother, YES! *grins*)

.

"Respect your elders."

Really? Across the board? Even when they are monsters and child molesters? Nope, equal respect from birth to death for all people (children are people, too), and those who *earn* it, get trust as well.

37

S*** JW Parents Say

by Dissonant15 in

my mom especially had some go-to phrases that to this day echo in my head and piss me off.

things like, .

"don't get mad at me for enforcing the rules, because jehovah made them, so if you don't like it, you're disrespecting him.

talesin

On Hallowe'en, approx. age 10,:

"No, Hallowe'en is from Satan. We turn off all the lights and keep the blinds drawn. It's Satan's favorite night, and SATAN and his demons are running around, and so happy, because they can get all the children!"

ON reading the Asleep! article about Malawi, age 8 or 9: ::

"Jehovah's people face persecution, even here in Canada! It happened during the Duplessis years. So we must be ready to withstand torture in this time of the end(TM)."

Anyone remember the horrific descriptions of the torture? I'm not sure of the year, but mid-60s? And yes, JWS were jailed in PQ in the early 20th Century. This was a real threat to my sanity as a child.

On my first day of school, age 6:

"You are to remain seated when God Save The Queen or Oh Canada is played, do not bow your head or say Amen after the Lord's prayer, and keep your eyes open. Come straight home for lunch and after school. All worldly people are ruled by Satan. Bad associations spoil useful habits."

Followed by a meeting with my teacher, who was a Xtian and DELIGHTED that I was so advanced in my reading skills, that I got to READ A SCRIPTURE to the class every morning, so that my JW mother could have 'equal religious treatment'. Needless to say, I was an instant target (I'm small, too), and remained one until high school, where anonymity gave me safety. : ))

On blood transfusions, age 15.. My friend's baby was born very sickly, and needed blood (though chances were slim that he would survive). It was, of course, refused. The doctors were prepared legally, and procured a court order. For three months, they did all they could, but the infant died.

"Well, they took X's baby, and tortured it for three months. When it died they gave it back to them and said 'Bury it' That's how they treat Jehovah's people.".

HomeByTheSea, yes, the stoning one, too! I forgot that one. ugh

Oh, and this Cherry! We've all heard this one.

"The worst Jehovah's Witness is better than the best worldly person." (Let's TM that whole sentence. hehe)

42

Why are GMO's bad?

by cappytan in

jw
friends

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sh4bi60alzu.

first person to say, "this scishow episode is a monsanto conspiracy," is a rotten egg..

talesin

David Suzuki sums it up in a 5 minute interview on youtube. As a scientist, and geneticist, he is concerned.

1. It is the largest science experiment, EVER.

2. GMO plants do not produce seeds, leaving the farmer with no option except to buy new seed every year.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sl0-Ds6Cioc

22

If you don't enjoy working with the public choose another career.

by James Mixon in

jw
friends

i'am sure you have come across someone with that type of personality, working in sales, clerk, waitress or waiter.

most are nice but once in a while you come across that person that needs to choose a different career.. this morning i met that person, she just screwed up my day.

i'm thinking maybe her day wasn't a good start,a fight with her husband, bills or children but don't screw up my day.

talesin

I thought of that, and it bothered me for about 2 seconds. But food handlers can't be acting like that - she deserved to lose her job. She obviously didn't appreciate having it.

; )

22

If you don't enjoy working with the public choose another career.

by James Mixon in

jw
friends

i'am sure you have come across someone with that type of personality, working in sales, clerk, waitress or waiter.

most are nice but once in a while you come across that person that needs to choose a different career.. this morning i met that person, she just screwed up my day.

i'm thinking maybe her day wasn't a good start,a fight with her husband, bills or children but don't screw up my day.

talesin

If that person is truly over the top, I will speak to management, and tell them exactly what transpired. Also, that my money will be spent elsewhere, where I am treated with respect.

A few years ago, I went to the supermarket to buy a piece of fish for my cat. It was 20 minutes before closing, and the woman at the fish counter had already cleared the display cases and put the product in the walk-in. I asked for 1 fillet of haddock. She was clearly annoyed that I had interrupted her routine, and had to go into the walk-in to get my fish. .

When I got home and opened the package, the fish was dirty - she had obviously thrown it on the floor before she wrapped it. The next day, I went back to the store, and asked to see the manager. He told me she had had numerous complaints already for her attitude, and would be dealt with.

**edit to retype the paragraph that disappeared**

Three weeks later, my friend's mother got a new job. At the supermarket. At the fish counter, because they had to fire a bad employee.

(Note that this is a unionized shop, and the clerk must have had quite the record to lose her job,)

If someone has to take a sales job (which they hate) to make ends meet, I feel bad for them, BUT. Do your job, and suck it up! Especially if you are in a union, and lucky enough to have the wage and bennies that go with it.

xx