It is wonderful to read about your little girl, having these fun times and a real childhood. You are doing just FINE, and only 17 months out!
You know, our neural pathways in our brains are just that. Paths that have been well-trodden down. Our system naturally follows those paths, especially after years of indoctrination.
You have been creating new neural paths for yourself. Every time you have that negative, icky feeling, reassure yourself by talking back, something like this: "Hey, I know this feeling, and it is not reality. I *know* this is a good thing for me and my daughter, so go away, negative thought". (In your own way, your own voice, tell yourself "Well done, on the right path!")
You are making a new neural path for your brain. Eventually, the old ways will become overgrown, and you will naturally tread the new path. The one that says "This is fun! Look, see how happy she is. Ah, freedom is grand."
Keep up the good work!