Junebuggie,
I read your entire post and found it very thoughful and heartfelt. I am struggling with my fiance who is an unbaptized publisher, having wavered many times, completely uninvolved to now being involved full throttle. My problem is that he has now told me I must convert in order for us to marry, and never before has he told me this. Needless to say it has been a roller coaster ride of emotions for both of us, me saying I want nothing to do with the JW's and him saying lets stay together in hopes that it will change my heart. You mentioned in your post to have current JW's research unbiased information on the organization. My fiance says he would do this, but so far has not. He acused me of going to "radical apostate" websites, etc. How do I find what hewould consider unbiased information about the JW's? I am pretty sure he would not seek this information on his own, so I need to do all of the research and hope that he will read/listen, etc.