WT 1999 October 15, p. 18 pars. 4-5 You May Gain Your Brother
4 Jesus advised that you “lay bare his fault between you and
him alone.” That is wise. Some German translations phrase this,
present his fault “under four eyes,” meaning yours and his. When you kindly
bring up a problem in private,
it usually is easier to resolve. A brother who did or said
something offensive or unkind may more readily acknowledge the error to you alone. If others were listening,
imperfect human nature might incline him to deny being wrong or to try to
justify what he did. But as you bring the issue up “under four eyes,” you may
find that it was a misunderstanding rather than a sin or deliberate wrong. Once
you both grasp it as a misunderstanding, you can settle it, not allowing a
trivial issue to grow and poison your relationship. Hence, the principle at
Matthew 18:15 can be applied even to minor
offenses in daily life.
My observation: That elder that eagerly listened to the negative
opinions from others in the congregation regarding the appropriateness of the
movie handled it incorrectly. He should have redirected those individuals to go
directly to the family that they have a problem with and to NOT advertise or gossip about how they
felt with others…end of story.