Tell us a little about yourself and your family.
I’m sixty years old, and I am a second generation JW.
Were you a born in or a convert?
I was a born in.
Are your parents / family JWs?
My parents were both witnesses, as also was my oldest sister, though they are all now deceased. I have a niece and three nephews still in the organisation.
How many generations have been JWs?
I’m second generation.
Did you hold any position in the WTS? (MS, Elder etc...)
Yes for about a year or so I was an MS.
Did you *really* believe in the bible, in spirits (angels, demons)?
I was a hard and fast believer in whatever was taught to me by the organisation.
Did you get baptised? When and why?
Yes at the age of 13. I was baptised partly because I believed it was the truth, and I wanted to gain recognition and advance in the so called truth.
What was the initial trigger that made you start questioning things?
I had health problems and became quite depressed with the lack of genuine love being shown by the elders and the congregation in general. So I began a quest to strengthen my faith by research and firstly found information about the Watchtower and the UN, which I instantly dismissed as lies, though it remained fixed in the back of my mind. Then I found COC and that really turned my world upside down, suddenly I began to grow suspicious of my faith.
Where did you find information? Internet sites? Books?
I found all the information on the internet. I had downloaded much material relating to the history of the Watchtower along with COC and ISOCF by Ray Franz. I also ordered books by M. James Penton “Apocalypse Delayed, also Edmond C. Gruss “The Four Presidents of the Watchtower Society, which continued the education in TTATT.
How difficult or painful was the process of leaving?
Mentally I have been out for about four years. Physically I have stopped all activities associated with the Org for around three years now. So I guess it is a full blown fade.
Was it a big dramatic exit or a careful quiet fade?
No not dramatic just quietly retreating to safer ground.
Did you convince anyone else to leave with you?
My wife still attends the meeting on Sunday only and I have discussed with her the errors of the Org, though she sometimes sticks up for them, she also listens to what I have to say. In fact she has admitted she isn’t really interested, but wants to maintain contact with friends and family, so she simply goes through the motions
How were your family relations affected by your decision?
A little strained, somewhat disappointed in me, but as I am not yet disfellowshipped things are still ok.
Were you or are you still being shunned by those who didn't leave?
Some friends have become cool towards me.
How long have you now been out?
Just over three years.
Was there anything you looked forward to doing when you left?
Not really I’m a very conservative person and at this stage I’m living quietly under the radar.
What are you most proud of achieving since you left?
Doing research and continuing to grow in TTATT, also firmly knowing I will never again commence association with a false prophet.
Is there anything you miss about life in the congregation?
We did have a few enjoyable get togethers, Karaoke and such, but apart from that no.
Red pill or blue pill? Do you regret waking up to reality at all?
Red pill without hesitation, I’m a bottom line person, it’s the real truth or nothing at all.
Did you become an atheist or transfer your faith elsewhere?
I’m still in a state of flux, not sure which way to go, but I am leaning towards Christianity. But who knows what future knowledge will reveal.
How do you now feel about religion in general?
Not interested in Organised religion.
Do you feel any guilt celebrating xmas or birthdays or doing any other JW "no-no"s?
As of yet I have not celebrated. I don’t think it is wrong to do so, but I haven’t seen the need to begin.
Have you attended any face-to-face meetups of ex-JWs?
No unfortunately, but hopefully one day.
Describe your circle of friends - mostly other ex-JWs or regular people?
At this stage in my life I have few friends, mainly family and one close friend who hasn’t shunned me yet.
Do you tell people about your JW past?
When opportunity arises I certainly do.
Do you feel animosity or pity toward current JWs?
Mainly pity, though I have question marks around those in leadership as to whether they are deceived or are active deceivers.
How do you respond to witnesses when they call at your door?
I keep the contact short and sweet.
Storm the barricades or tend to the wounded? (do you favor activism or support)
I think there is room for both, some respond to confrontation others to the soft touch. Whatever approach works is fine by me.
What do you think is the most effective approach to reaching people still in?
Kindness, and if they are willing to question provide quotes proving the Watchtower is false
Do you think the WTS can or should be destroyed, will continue on as-is or grow / change?
I wish it to be totally destroyed. The longer they are in power the more victims are caught in their falsehood. They have caused so much hurt and harm in the name of God. How Satan must rejoice in Watchtower policies, how better to destroy a persons faith in God by being convinced that they are God’s only true channel, and then finding out it is all a lie. Who in their right mind after finding out these things will want to trust God again.
How has your life been impacted by your JW past?
Turned me into someone with few social skills.
Are there things in your life you blame the WTS for?
Most of my upbringing, it warped my outlook on things.
JW upbringing - a protection or a curse?
In most things a curse.
How do you fill your time now it's not filled with meetings and field service?
I try to re educate myself in the real world, not holding on to fanciful wild imagination.
Do you still have an interest in JW beliefs and doctrines?
Just to keep up with the so called new light.
How much of your time is still spent on JW related matters?
About an hour a day.
What do you think of the ex-JW community?
I think they all have been through hell, and had the courage to face up to reality and do something about it
Do you see yourself still being associated with the ex-JW community in 5 or 10 years time?
Not sure.
Do you fear the future?
The future is a black box, no one really knows what it has in store for us personally.
What advice would you give to anyone starting the journey of leaving the WTS?
Once you see the proof of TTATT don’t allow yourself to ever be drawn back again into the clutches of the Watchtower
What would you change in your life if you could go back and talk to yourself?
Unfortunately I can’t change the parents that I had. And I am sure that my younger self was far to indoctrinated in the Org to listen to good old me.
Do you have any regrets about life since you left?
Just that I didn’t see TTATT sooner.
Can we read your life-story anywhere? (links to online or books)
At this stage no.
Want to share your own story? Please use the Interview with an Apostate: Template and post it in the Personal Experiences & Reunions section with the title "Interview with an Apostate: [your name or alias]"