Thank you Simon for
"The only exceptions are not really "punishment" but where you may slap a child's hand away from a fire or hot pan or grab them roughly if they looked like they were running out into the road."
While I might have a slightly broader understanding of the same concept we are not that far a part. All I was hearing was that any physical discipline was always abuse.
As a young child spankings where not effective on me. I have a high pain tolerance and I can be stubborn. As soon as I could talk, talking was the best way to discipline. me. My brother on the other hand was very different. He was hyperactive, obstinate, and probably had a touch of fetal alcohol syndrome(he was adopted so we don't really know his background). You had to get his attention for him to listen. After a good smack he would slow down and listen to what you had to say.
Look every child is different. The skills of every parent are different. It is very difficult to make a broad statement of what is acceptable and what is not acceptable in every circumstance.