Are some Ex-JW better then others?

Kaylen

I was raised a witness but never baptised and left when I was 17 causing my father (among other reasons) to be "demoted"? from being a Ministerial Servant. For a very very long time I didn't talk about it and only recently started getting involved in the local ex-jw meet ups. Basically I felt after attending that they felt because I wasn't baptised and have been out for a long time that I was in some way over reacting with the feelings that I have now and that the experiences I had at school and with my childhood are not as important as what they have to go through. I understand that alot of ex witnesses have to be very careful when they have other family members that will shun them and I am not affected by having to hide my identity or anything but I was really hurt by it. It is like being not good enough for any side, not good enough for the witnesses and not good enough for the ex witnesses.

Legolas

I am not affected by having to hide my identity or anything but I was really hurt by it.

I don't fully know what you mean! What were you hurt by?

AlmostAtheist

I felt after attending that they felt because I wasn't baptised and have been out for a long time that I was in some way over reacting with the feelings that I have now and that the experiences I had at school and with my childhood are not as important as what they have to go through.

There was a guy that attended an ex-JW meetup I attended, he was never baptized. Just studied in the 70's. His hang up was he still believed many of the doctrines, so news of wars and so forth scared him. But he didn't want to go back to the JW's. So he was in this limbo.

His difficulty related to the JW's was every bit as real and damaging as ones that had been baptized for decades. And as best as I could tell, he was treated that way.

Of course, we had several bottles of wine open and flowing at that meetup as well. And I recall some bocce got badly played. Perhaps you'd like to come to our next one? Hang a left when you get to South America.

Honestly, I can't see why anyone would feel your experience "didn't count" as it were. I hope you don't feel that way here.

Dave

Lady Lee

For a very very long time I didn't talk about it and only recently started getting involved in the local ex-jw meet ups. Basically I felt after attending that they felt because I wasn't baptised and have been out for a long time that I was in some way over reacting with the feelings that I have now and that the experiences I had at school and with my childhood are not as important as what they have to go through.

Sadly I have seen this at some of the meetups. In my case I was the only one who was older. All the others were my children's ages and younger. Since I had been out for over 20 years and some of these ex-JWs were in their 20's I got the feeling that my experience was less relevant simply by age and time. Another issue is the group all knew each other and many had been in the same cong. They were already a "club" and had their own ways of relating to each other. What I have discovered here is that the organization of today is rather different than the one I lived in. In some ways things have gotten stricter in other ways less so. I think it's important too to remember that many people who have recently left still have some very open wounds. They are just as scared of outsiders as they were while they were "in". The WTS is heavily emphasising the dangers of the world and creating a great deal of suspicion. Just because someone stops going to meetings does not automatically remove the fears. It takes time and work to get rid of those

I understand that alot of ex witnesses have to be very careful when they have other family members that will shun them and I am not affected by having to hide my identity or anything but I was really hurt by it. It is like being not good enough for any side, not good enough for the witnesses and not good enough for the ex witnesses.

While this may be an accurate assessment of that particular group, it may be that they were just being cautious. But hey. You are here and we're a pretty welcoming bunch. So Welcome There's lots to learn and tons of people to make friends with

Kaylen

Sorry I should re read what I write before I post. I was hurt by their dismissal of my experience and how I felt. Maybe I am expecting too much I was looking for support and maybe I was looking in the wrong place or maybe I didn't know what to expect or maybe I am just babbling....

Legolas

Kaylen...This is a great place to come and ask question's or just vent if you have to, because most of us have been through similar things!

Take heart and give it time.

Kaylen

As usual Lady Lee you are exactly right all the members are nearly all from the same congregation and run by an ex elder and it is like they are a club together. I find myself being careful what I say in case I say the wrong thing.

Lady Lee

As usual Lady Lee you are exactly right

LOL What have you been reading?

It doesn't surprise me at all the group was similar to the one I went to.

Add to that feeling of isolation is that even when I was a JW I always felt like I didn't belong. Even as an elder's wife I didn't feel like I belong.

Interestingly this is about the only place these days I feel like I do belong

MRSJG

i'm new here and have only been studing for some months. but i wanted to let you know about our situation in reguards to yours.

my husband was baptized when he was 9 or 10. his whole family was very involved in the kingdon hall. his father was an elder. making a confusing and long story short, his father found a "girlfriend" which got him disfellowshiped. of corse my husband did not continue attending. so now many years later we decided we would start going to the meetings. upon us returning, my husband was asked to particapate in a meeting with some of the elders reguarding he "status" as a witness. he was also asked to not discuss this meeting with me, well, i'm proud to say i know my husband better then he knows himself, just asking the right questions at the right time will give you more than enough information. they asked him many personal questions, which he told the truth to, so basically as punishment (thats how i see it) he's in reproof? he can attend the meeting but he is not allowed to comment yet they expect him to do field service? i watch my husband sit through these meetings three days a week, i watch him study his bible at night, and i watch him day after day try to be a better person, he's better than i am, i know that. but to me on the outside looking in, he dosen't deserve to be punished for his dads faults or be made to feel any sort of guilt. i was baptized as a cathloic, but i was not raised in the church. yet still every fiber of my being tells me the only person you or i owe and explanation to is our father in heaven. no man or board or committee. you pray for yourself and ask god to forgive you for your sins, reguardless if there is a paradise on earth, in heaven or whatever mostly everyone would agree reguardless of your beliefs there is a right and a wrong that we'll all answer for. i even get upset with my husband for letting them make him feel the way they do!?! it's not fair and you can't let them be the judge of you.

thanks for listening,

jg

lazyslob

Dont forget that most of us are social disasters.

Are some Ex-JW better then others?

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