I've been debating on whether or not to share this...but here goes (page 4)

Pubsinger

How old is your son?

How did he get on the Ministry School if you haven't been for months?

Have you told him that he's not stepping foot in a KH again?

How are you going to prevent it?

Just wondering? (not tongue lashing)

Thanks all for your supportive words. My son is 9 years old. He was so caught up in the moment of praise and acceptance that I don't think he realized what was said, and I did not give him any indication that I was hurt or upset.

I agree that the KH and association with JWs needs to be replaced with another fun, healthy activitiy. He likes to play sports and is active at the local boys and girls club. Basketball season is starting soon, followed by baseball and football. I have every intention of allowing him to indulge in this interest. I wonder how many of his games they will attend? I can bet that there will be none. Funny thing is that my dad asked if he could stay home from school to practice his bible reading. I allowed it under the condition that he complete his homework for the day. No attention was given to homework at all. He spent over 8 hours at their home and no one had the sense to sit him down to have him do his homework. When he got home after 9:30 p.m. I had to make sure that his homework was completed. No different from when we were young. Too much attention was given to reading the Watchtower and next to none was given to education.

As for having the discussion with him about not attending the KH anymore, I need to pray on this and probably will still need a little coaching. I think he and I just need to go out to dinner and have a heart to heart on the matter. Last school year, when my mother told one of his JW classmate's parents that I was df'd, and the classmate, in turn told him, he was devastated. He hated the way he found out and he hated that my mother felt that it was her responsibility to tell my business. His head was spinning with questions of "what could my mother have possibly done to get df'd"? He just kept saying that it isn't right that they treat you like this. I suppose since he feels so strongly about that, we can have a discussion on shunning.

After my mother did that, I told her that if my son ever had questions on that subject, she was to direct him to me and never discuss this with him again.

TheListener

Hugs from me findingmyway.

Like a previous poster said (maybe cyp) the dubs force us into uncomfortable circumstances. You tried to do the right thing by your son, parents and sacrificed your feeling for them. I'm proud that you didn't lose your emotions in front of the hall.

What a bunch of pompous asses. They truly don't have compassion for other human beings.

Good luck on talking with your son. Pray and pray and pray and then talk and talk and talk.

Again, good luck.

joanne_

How dare they! You are the civil one to let your child have this opportunity, you could have made it very hard on the boy. But no, you took the high road and let your boy do what he wanted to do. If I were you, I would stay close to that boy, like the other poster said. Keep him busy, and tactfully, quietly fade away from all that influence. What that elder did, was downright insulting!

p.s. your parents should be praising you for how you have raised your boy, not taking the credit!

joanne

delilah

First off, let me give you a big hug((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Findingmyway))))))))))))))))))))))))))), you did very well to hold your tongue....I'm not so sure i would have! How dare they make comments like that, especially in front of everyone. The things the "brothers" say and do, NEVER cease to amaze me.....you said,"association with JWs needs to be replaced with another fun, healthy activitiy. He likes to play sports and is active at the local boys and girls club. Basketball season is starting soon, followed by baseball and football. I have every intention of allowing him to indulge in this interest. I wonder how many of his games they will attend?

I can tell you from experience, my parents have not, nor will they ever attend any of my boys football practices, or games.....because we do not go to the KH anymore. When my kids still expressed a desire to attend the meetings, my parents were there with bells on....when they chose NOT to go anymore, that was it. We rarely see them, and the funny thing is, my kids don't miss them. Hang in there, and hold your head up high.....YOU are doing a fine job, raising your son, and don't ever let anyone, tell you any differently. Best regards with your decisions.....

Delilah

Jankyn

(((FindingMyWay)))

You're getting a lot of good support here. Bravo to you for keeping your cool and putting your son first.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: just when I think I've heard it all, the JWs find a way to surprise me. How twisted can they get? Apparently, more twisted than I thought.

Hang in there.

Jankyn

daystar

{{{findingmyway}}}

I'm sorry that you were hurt by them, those... those... I can't even say it.

But congrats on being confronted with even more evidence to support leaving "The Society" for good.

hallowedbethyname

Kudos to keeping it cool.

In that situation, I would have lost it.

He is your son, your blood. No one can take that away from you!!! Not even some half-wit organization claiming to do Gods will.

Getting angry, is only playing their game. Its smoke/mirrors with them all the time. They are a slick bunch, with balls of steel, I give them that.

Here's hoping it gets better mate.

Cheers.

HBTN

Smiles_Smiles

Well, I debated about whether or not to reply to this one.

It hurt my heart to hear what you went through.

Unfortunately, JWs way of praise for a young child can be very appealing. And your son quite possibly is feeling pulled from his gandparents to be a certain way and from you to be a different way. And that is probably very conflicting for him. I have a 12 year old and I know she has felt that in the past.

All I can say is get very close to you son - heart wise. That heart to heart talk you mentioned is a good thing to have ongoing all the time. Don't hide the experiences you have had in JW good or bad. That way your son will always know that Daddy will be honest with him no matter what. Tell him and show him that your love for him is unconditional rather he wants to be a JW or not. But that you don't think it is a wise choice because of (your experience). Our children are more mature then what we give them credit for allot of times. I have a feeling that 'unconditional love' will win him over to what is the right journey for his life. And I hope that's not being a JW but either way we have to love and cherish our children and support thier journey.

Bug hugs and good luck.

Smiles_Smiles

Sheepish

I add my heartfelt sympathy and agree with all the advice you've been given so far, but I will add, as a warning:

Keep him away from your parents and other JWs! Especially and absolutely in regards to time alone with them! If you are not there, they will be working on him constantly.It is worth whatever you have to do to replace the babysitting aspect of the relationship.

I know this from experience. At one point my mom had my sister's kids, and would not let them get on the plane to go home, told them their parents were probably getting a divorce, (untrue) and only wanted them there longer to work on them more. Be vewy, vewy cahful Wabbit!

Also, keep reading the Bible with him, so he will not only associate it with the witnesses. Make sure you have a translation other than the bogus NWT.(There is plenty of info on what they did to it around, it you are still not convinced of it's error.) He needs to understand the freedom in it, before he grows up and rejects it all cause of the Witnesses.(For that matter, there are lots of little bible classes in different churches that have programs with stickers and patches, some like the boy scouts and eagles,like the Royal Rangers...if you ever want to look into it, I can tell you about a few--I am non-denominational by the way.Just PM me)

Lord bless you and help you heal. Whatever you were DFed for, it does not estrange you from God, only JWs! Count it a blessing in disguise!

I've been debating on whether or not to share this...but here goes

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