Not your typical blonde joke....

by Scully 13 Replies latest social humour

• 

  Scully

  Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the craps table.

  An attractive blonde from St John's, Newfoundland arrived and bet twenty-thousand dollars ($20,000) on a single roll of the dice.

  She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude."

  With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and yelled, "Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!" As the dice came to a stop she jumped up and down and squealed... "YES! YES! I WON, I WON!"

  She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed. The dealers stared at each other dumfounded. Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?"

  The other answered, "I don't know - I thought you were watching."

  MORAL - Not all Newfies are stupid and not all blondes are dumb, but all men are men.
• 

  Legolas

  Good one!
• 

  Billygoat

  Newfie???
• 

  Legolas

  LMAO @ Billy.....

  A 'Newfie' is what we call Newfoundlanders.....They have jokes all there own (about them)!

  Try to google some newfie jokes, I will try as well and post them here!
• 

  Legolas

  Did you hear about the Newfie terrorist who tried to blow up a school bus?
  He burnt his lips on the exhaust pipe.

  Did you hear about the Newfie who died drinking milk?
  The cow fell on him.

  How many Newfies does it take to go ice fishing?
  Four. One to cut a hole in the ice and three to push the boat through.

  Did you hear about the Newfie who went ice fishing?
  He caught fifty pounds of ice and his wife drowned trying to cook.

  There was a guy from Ontario, a guy from Quebec and a guy from Newfoundland and they all went to a strip joint. At the strip joint there was a beautiful stripper. She went up to the guy from Ontario and waved her butt in his face, so he slipped her $30. She thought maybe if she waved her butt in this other guys face she could get another $30 so she did it and he slipped her $30. The she thought if she waved her butt in the newfie's face she could get another $30 so she waved her butt in the newfies face and the newfie pulled out his credit card, swiped her crack and took the two thirtys.
• 

  Legolas

  Two newfies, George and Frank, are getting tired of Newfoundland
  and start to think about moving out West for a better life.
  George is all for it but Frank is a little skeptical.
  George says,"Frank bye, the work is plentiful, lotsa tings ta do and
  it'll be a good change fer us, "Frank replies,"I know Garge but what about the Atlantic?" Won't you miss the fishin, and smell of the salt water in the mornin'? "George agrees, but offers an Idea,"Well Frank, why don't you take your fishin'dory witch a and when ever ya starts to miss da rock ya can hop in your dory and fantasize about St.Johns"
  
  Well that's all it took to convince Frank, and they strap the dory to the roof of the truck and off they go. Well it's been 4 days driving and Frank is really missing Newfoundland, so George stops the truck in the middle of the prairies and says, "Look out at dose flat wheat fields Frank, doesn't dat remind you of the ocean, the way the wind is blowin' through the grain?"
  Frank replies, "Lard tunderin Jasus Garge yer right!" They unhook the
  dory and haul it out to the middle of the field, sit back, relax and
  start rowing. Well it just happens that, at the same time
  another Newfie is on his way back from Alberta and spots the plates
  on their truck and then notices the two of them out on the field
  rowing away.
  Well the new arrival gets so angry he stops his truck, hops out and
  begins to scream at them.
  "No wonder the whole country tinks we're stupid, look at you two
  fools out there rowin 'Jasus, if I could swim I'd come out there and kick yer arses!!!!!"
• 

  BrendaCloutier

  What is black and blue with patches of brown and found laying in a ditch?

  A brunette who has told one too many blonde jokes....
• 

  xjwms

  Very funny

  Thanks
• 

  G Money

  Bloody hillariuos, haven't heard good newfie jokes in years and nobody told me any in Vancouver either!
• 

  Billygoat

  LMAO@Legolas!!!

  I guess Newfie jokes are to y'all the way Oklahoma and Arkansas jokes are to us Texans.