Email I received off mum

by Es 11 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Es

  Hey all, i usually pop into my folks once a week so that my son can see his grandparents. Anyway last week my dad asked if i wanted to go to a country show\fete with them on sat , so anyway a couple of days later i emailed my mum to see whether my fiance (non JW) could come too.

  This is the email i received today

  As you are going to be busy over the next few weeks, we dont want to put added pressure on you, dont feel you have to come to the show.Plus we have already explained the situation regarding Mike we dont have anything against him personally, but the situation is difficult for us regards associating with him as your fiance because it would be viewed as our supporting your decision to marry out of the truth. No matter how much you ignore it and Jehovah, you are baptised witness and whatever you do will reflect on that, thats why i asked you about birthdays etc. because it can affect our relationship with you. Once upon a time you would have understood the reasons, but now you dont. Please dont take offence at this. We will continue to help you whenever we can.

  - mum.

  GOD im so F%$^ing angry. How dare they, how condescending "once you would have understood now you dont". Plus they were happy to meet mike if he came to the convention funny how they could associate with him on that day and not care how it would be viewed.

  So anyway my email back was basically maybe we should just leave associating with each other. And basically dont lie bout helping whenever you can coz its all on your terms.

  Great just what i need 5 weeks before my wedding

  es
• 

  rebel8

  How pathetic that going to a show with a soon-to-be SIL is prohibited. Interesting they used the words "it would be viewed as" instead of framing it as a personal objection they have....as if they are taking this stance to avoid others looking down on them, rather than because it's something they personally believe in doing.
• 

  blondie

  I'm surprised that deign to see you thinking that would "encourage" you in your "wrong" course. I could cut the visits with your son to see your parents.

  Blondie
• 

  Es

  Yeah i have now basically done that blondie, i have said no more associating with me or my son now.

  es
• 

  horrible life

  es, it sounds like they have gotten an elders visit. Really alot of weird wording, including "hope you don't take offence". I think that she is trying to cover her ass. It may not be as bad as you think.

  I would wait a couple of days, and call her to ask for help with a little part of your wedding plans. Like decorating a little corner. See what her reaction is. HL ((((((((HUGS))))))) Parents are a bitch sometimes.
• 

  Es

  ohh i have been asked not to even mention the word wedding round them so i doubt they will help they arent even coming anyway

  es
• 

  Sam the Man

  What a load of [edited] horseshit. I'd be so angry. I cant give any advice... I hope it goes well for you. [edited] stupid witness mentality.
• 

  Sheepish

  Aw Es that is so hurtful,
  I am sure you'll miss your parents envolvement with your wedding, but it is probably for the best when you think about it. You should be thinking about you and your husband on that day, not all that other crap.
  I imagine it won't be long after the wedding that they will accept him, as then it will be all over. And you know, if you think about it, you can understand. They think their relationship with God is at stake over these little points. Pity them Es, they are in bondage, and you got out.

  Lord bless your marriage! Have a great day!
• 

  Es

  Thanks so much, im happy they arent coming to the wedding there behaviour at my first wedding (to a brother) was terrible.

  es
• 

  sass_my_frass

  Yep, 'It Was Wonderful To Have My Parents At The Wedding', but actually it was pretty stressful. They were there to show support, for sure, but also so they wouldn't have to face grief from her non-witness family, and she spent the whole day tormented and depressed, knowing that it's this that is making her other children cut them off. I wanted to make her feel better, but hey, it's my wedding day! Not everything is about Motherdarling.

  She actually had the book study taken away from their place because of the risk of stumbling others; that she wouldn't want to affect the conscience of the people attending. I'd like to ask her if any of them really care (my old 'aunts' :D ) or would be stumbled, but no, her conscience is a tricky thing. The elders insisted that they could keep it there, or that they can have it there again now..... it may just be a bit of emotional blackmail directed at me; 'come back or Motherdarling will always be this spiritually tormented'.

  I suspect that God doesn't want things to be this upsetting. So just show love, and if you can't to your parents, show it to your husband and bub!