Embarrased that you were a JW?

by Lady Lee 20 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  Lady Lee

  I have finally started to read Captive Hearts, Captive Minds.

  They say something that got me to thinking.

  I used to feel embarassed to tell non-JWs that I was a JW. It was one thing to tell people at the doors. It was totally another thing to tell other people. Granted there were times I was proud to annouce it.

  I recall one day going to work and I met the PO on the train. As we were talking I said something about being a JW rather loudly so others could hear. The PO stopped me cold when he said we didn't need everyone to hear (or words to that effect). From that point on I always was embarassed to let others know.

  There was always this kind of pride but also this feeling of embarassment. Cognitive Dissonace!!

  Then after I left, I felt embarassed as well. For about 10 years after I left I still believed it was the truth. I felt ashamed they kicked me out. I didn't want to bring shame on the cong by telling people I was kicked out (then they would think I was bad)

  But as I got through the "thinking the truth™ was the truth the shame for leaving has disappeared.

  In some ways it feels like the same sense of shame I had when I started telling people I was an incest victim. I always thought they would judge me negatively.

  I'm at the point now that I can easily say I was a JW. I see it as being strong enough to have gotten out and still be standing.

  So... anyone else feel this way?
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  under74

  When I was a kid I was embarrassed because it was different and it mad me an outsider. After my family left I was embarrassed but wasn't sure why. Up until recently it wasn't so much being embarrassed as much as figuring most people wouldn't understand...which I guess feels like embarrassment. It's a bit better now...in the least I can talk more with close friends about it but I still feal it.
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  TopHat

  
  At times I was embarrased but if push came to shove I would always tell them I was a JW.

  Now that I have told my JW adult son I no longer believe the WTS is "The Truth"....He has labled me "Satan Lover"

  Well, I know he will come around to see the "Big Lie" "The men in Brookyln" that WTS really is sooner or later.
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  acuragirl

  Tell me about it i was wicked embarrased to go knocking on doors as a kid and teen out in service.I would make up every excuse in the world to get out of going to the doors.It never worked i always had to go,sometimes i would pretend to ring the bell(if the door had a bell) and i would walk away quick if no one came to the door after like 1 knock.LOL. The worst thing was when i went to a door and one of my schoolmates lived there,o god just kill me.I was so afraid to be the laughing stock of my school,me and my sisters.Luckily i wasnt.It was almost equally embarrasing to stand up at the flag salute and b the only one without your hand over your heart and everyone looking at you like,"Whats with her?"
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  mouthy

  I dont go anywhere without telling I am a JW (EX) The other day I was driving out of a pick up grocery store & on my window I have a sticker that says "Not perfect Just Forgiven" the young fellow said "I like your sticker I am a Christian also. ' I said well I was a JW for over 20 years " Boy I made His day!!!!.....Also My Superintendant of this building( Darryl Sittlers Mother -the Hockey player) She wont ever stop telling folks" Grace Gough is an ex JW---" She never thought they left bondage & is so happy...Yes I believe that is why I am alive to tell folks "Been there done that "-It is a trap......
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  kid-A

  I was raised in it, never baptized and faded out by the age of 20 but I was always embarassed about my past and hid my "secret" from my worldly friends for years. Still to this day, I would never tell anyone I was raised as a dub. It does affect how people think about you and they will likely assume you still have some "lingering" cult weirdness about you. Kids and adults can be cruel!
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  Jourles

  It depends on the situation. My coworker knows that I was a JW(he still thinks I am, I don't think he gets what it means to be an ex-JW). There was an occasion a few months back for my coworker to almost pop his mouth when it wouldn't have been a good idea to. When my company was bought by another, we had all of their bigwigs come through and tour our office. The conversation moved into who the higher ups were and that one in particular was a hard-nosed but well mannered type. He doesn't "swear, smoke or do anything morally wrong." It was then mentioned that he was a JW. My coworker's eyes beamed right at me because he was about to mouth off saying, "Hey, Jourles is a JW too!" I just stared at him and slightly shook my head. Luckily he didn't say anything. But later, he said it was a good thing I was there and motioned to him not to say a word or else he would have mentioned it.

  We get along great, but with this one instance, I had to tell him that I would inform our HR department if he ever told anyone that I was a JW, ex or not. He didn't like that threat at first, but he eventually understood my seriousness.

  In the workplace, being known as an ex-JW could carry serious consequences. As in my case, there is a JW three rungs up from me. That could spell disaster if something ever came of it.

  There should be no room for religion in the workplace. Keep it at home or on your private time. Unless something is going on at work that compromises your faith, then politely mention that you would rather not be included. Otherwise, there are some people who would go out of their way to get someone fired simply due to their beliefs.
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  Dansk

  If ever there's a need for it to come up I don't get embarrassed at all. Like Grace, I actually like to tell people about its being a cult and therefore help them stay well clear. Already people have said positive things like how they would now keep the JWs well away from them. Everyone in my end of the street knows what the JWs did to my family and they get short shrift whenever they call on their doors One is a do not call!

  Ian
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  Ténébreux

  I was a bit afraid to tell friends at school that I was a JW, in much the same way that Clark Kent was reluctant to reveal his true identity. JWs are special, we're better than everyone else, and everyone else knows it. If I tell anyone, they'll think I'm bragging. They're not ready for this, they'll feel unworthy to be in the presence of one of God's chosen people...
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  Darth Yhwh

  I never liked to tell any one. I hated going out in "field service" in my home town territory for fear that I would encounter someone that I knew. I was afraid that if any one found out that they would tease me or make fun of me. Occasionally someone would find out and that was usually exactly what they did.